Of Monsters, Heirs, and the Unhinged
by Le MAO XXVI
Summary: Two unlikely people live in an apartment together. One is an heir to a multi-billion dollar company. The other is a mystery young man who is a little unhinged, yet is somehow the heir's bodyguard/roommate. Their unlikely peace is shattered when monster girls enter their lives (and apartment). Reluctantly, the unlikely duo go with it. Can these two handle this many attractive women?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Greetings, fellow readers of fanfiction. I am Le MAO XXIV. Seeing this is the Monster Musume section of the site, I imagine most, if not all of you, have not heard of me.**

 **I mostly write fanfiction for a web series called RWBY. A fun internet show owned by a company called Rooster Teeth. If you've never heard of this show or the people, I highly recommend checking them out. It's worth the look.**

 **And if any of you reading have read my other works…hey y'all. I'm back, I guess.**

 **Anyway, this is my first venture into the world of Monster Musume/Daily Life with a Monster Girl. I'm mainly putting this out to see how well received it is. I won't bother saying what kind of update schedule this will have, as I've found that I only meet those deadlines half the time, so I'll write when I can.**

 **Also, I understand if people have a problem with reading stories that have OC's as the main characters. Sorry, but this is how I plan to write this. If it's not your cup of tea, then don't read.**

 **Alright, this A/N has gone on long enough. Enjoy the story!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Monster Musume/Daily Life with a Monster Girl._

* * *

It was a quiet night at a local convenience store. A store mostly empty, the only occupants being the store manager, cashier, and a single customer.

A slow night, really, though the focus here is on the customer.

The single customer was a young man with red hair and amber eyes. His skin was pale, and his build was lean and of light muscle. He wore his usual attire: a white button shirt and black coat, along with black pants and black shoes.

This young man's name is Kiyota Akabane. And he was currently staring at a section of tea brands.

 _...Which one did he like, again?_

 ** _It was the fancy one. Highly expensive._**

 _Oh right._

His gaze shifted though each one.

…

…

"Ah, there it is."

He took a fancy looking brand of tea from it's spot and put it in a little basket.

"Finally. Jeez."

 ** _Your roommate certainly is picky in his tastes._**

 _Ugh, tell me about it._

He was in a bit of a mood because this brand of tea was extremely rare in convenience stores, and most didn't have them. He had to walk several miles before he finally found it. He could've gotten any other tea, sure, but there would've been hell to pay if he had brought back the wrong tea.

Sighing to himself, he moved to the counter and placed his items on it. The cashier robotically started scanning the items and bagging them as Kiyota took out his wallet.

"That will be 3725 yen, sir."

Kiyota shook his head. That tea literally cost 3500 yen. Why did it have to be so expensive? It's just freaking _tea_.

Then again, he was given the money by his roommate to buy the damn tea, so he couldn't really complain.

Also meant he could sneak a soda pop in there for himself.

Hah.

Paying the cashier, Kiyota exited the convenience store with the single bag and made his wayward stroll to his shared apartment.

He took the soda out, snapped it open, and sipped it.

"Ah~…bliss."

A random person suddenly appeared from the alleyway and held a knife out.

"Give me all your money!"

Kiyota just stared at him.

 _Goddamn it, not this bullshit again._

 _ **There's always someone who wants to make a name for themselves, Kiyota.**_

 _Doesn't mean I want to deal with this every other goddamn day._

Kiyota sipped his soda. "Can we not do this right now?"

"Don't think I don't know who you are! You live with that rich guy! And he gives you a stack of cash to buy stuff! Now give it to me, or I'll knife you!"

"…Okay, we're doing this right now."

Kiyota downed the rest of his soda, crushed the can, and tossed it in a recycling bin. He then set the bag down and reached into his jacket, pulling out a knife of his own.

The mugger's eyes widened. "Hey! Don't try anything!"

"If you knew who I was, then you should've already understood why you're not supposed to cross me."

"T-that's it! I warned you!"

The mugger quickly struck out with his knife.

Kiyota's eyes constricted, and time seemed to slow.

It was true that Kiyota lived with a rich person. It was a bit of a long story, but let's just say he happened to be at the right place at the right time to find himself in that position.

As the opposing knife slowly inched closer to Kiyota, he couldn't help but smirk.

 _This guy needs to learn the pecking order around here._

 ** _Indeed. Why not show him, Kiyota?_**

 _Gladly._

With that thought made, it was as though time resumed it's normal speed.

Kiyota dodged to his right, caught the man's arm in his own, and snapped it. The man screamed in pain and dropped his knife. Kiyota then brought his own knife up and stabbed it through the man's hand.

The mugger shrieked and staggered back, holding his now broken arm as blood started to seep out of his hand wound.

"T-the hell, man?!"

"What?" Kiyota asked with a tilt of the head.

"You fucking broke my arm and stabbed my hand

"Were you not just planning to cut me just a moment ago?"

"T-That isn't-."

"And I could've gone for the throat."

The man paled.

"But I didn't. Because I'm not feeling it tonight."

Kiyota pulled out a napkin and started cleaning his knife. "So…you gonna pull this shit on me again?"

The man quickly shook his head.

"Good. Now get out of here before I change my mind about going for your throat."

Kiyota's eyes constricted as he grinned. "Unless you want to forfeit your life?"

The mugger backed up quickly. "N-no, that's okay! S-sorry for trying to mug and stick you!"

The man turned and bolted.

Kiyota watched as the man ran away. He chuckled, pocketed his knife, and threw the used napkin in a nearby trash can.

"There's always someone that doesn't get the memo about what not to do around here."

 _ **I just said that.**_

 _Well...I said it out loud._

 ** _If I had my own face, I would deadpan at you._**

Chuckling at that, Kiyota picked up his bag and continued on his way back to the apartment.

* * *

Meanwhile, in said apartment, was another tenant. A young man around the same age as Kiyota, though he unfortunately didn't look the part.

This young man's name is Ciel Michealis, sole heir to the Michealis family fortune and multi-billion dollar corporation.

Ciel was short for his age, something that bothers him if brought up. His hair was bluish-black and his eyes a rich, deep blue. His build has been described as "wonderfully proportioned", but in reality he has a small build. Almost like a 13-year old, when in reality he was actually 18. Why was this? Let's just say puberty decided to give him the middle finger in the growth department and leave it at that.

The clothes he wore were of a noble standing, almost as though it were from the Victorian England era. He also had a black eyepatch made of gauze over his right eye, as well as a gold signet ring in the form of his family crest on his right hand.

That family crest was the symbol for the Michealis family.

The Michealis family was well known for their prosperous enterprise, the Michealis Corporation. It's main base in England, and many sister companies stationed in various other countries. It mostly produced candies and toys much enjoyed by children around the world, but it also sported a food branch and a jewelry branch.

Ciel's father, Vincent Michealis, ran the entire corporation. And when the time came, Ciel would take the reigns and run the Michealis Corporation as he saw fit. As well as be bestowed the family heirloom: an ornate silver piece that holds an emerald-cut deep blue sapphire.

Before that, however, the patriarch saw fit to have his son prove his skill.

Vincent Michealis tasked Ciel with running one of the several sister companies on his own, in order to prove himself as a worthy heir. He would be sent to another country and sustain himself.

While Ciel understood the situation, there was one thing he never managed to figure out….

Why Japan? Other sister company locations included America, India, France, the United Kingdom, etc. Yet his father sent him here. To Japan.

Ciel had a theory as to why this was the case, but it wasn't until a letter arrived that confirmed it.

And frankly…he didn't like it one bit.

He sighed in annoyance. "What a bother."

The apartment door was kicked open. "I'M BACK, BITCHES!"

And here was another bother.

"I'm the only one here," Ciel growled. "And I'm a guy. And will you stop kicking the door open every time you come back?!"

"Nope."

Ciel scowled. "You annoy me."

"Love ya too, shorty."

A tick mark appeared on Ciel's head as he made to yell at Kiyota.

"By the way, got you the tea you wanted."

Any anger felt by Ciel was put on hold. "Excellent. Hand it to me, please."

Kiyota took out the box and tossed it to Ciel, the latter hastily catching it.

"What have I said about tossing it like that?!"

"I had to walk several miles to get that. I'll toss it however I want."

Ciel gave a "tch" and moved towards the kitchen area, where he immediately started to make a cup of tea.

Ciel would admit freely that he found Kiyota to be an annoyance. The man was rude, loud, and…a little unhinged.

It was that last part, ironically, that helped Ciel out of a rather dark situation.

When Ciel had moved to Japan, he had no idea how to properly sustain himself. Especially since he had always had butlers do most everything for him. Prepare food and tea, dress himself, and any other meager tasks.

Because of this, he often found himself having to go and get takeout food for himself when he botched a meal.

And one of these times…he had run into some unsavory individuals.

* * *

" _Well, shiiiiit. Look what we got here, fellas!"_

" _Ain't that the kid on the tv?"_

" _Yeah, a_ rich _kid."_

" _You thinking what I'm thinking, boss?"_

" _Yeah, time to score a payday, boys!"_

 _A then eyepatchless Ciel backed up with a scowl as he was surrounded by a group of thugs._

" _I'll have you cretins know that this is an unwise decision!"_

 _The apparent leader of the group grinned. "For you, maybe. Us? It's easy money. Alright boys, hold the kid down while- ACK!"_

 _The lead ganger suddenly screamed in pain and fell to the ground, holding his side. He had been stabbed._

 _The other gangers turned wide-eyed to find another young man standing above their leader, cleaning his blade of blood with a napkin._

" _A couple of thugs picking on a little kid? Now that's just low."_

" _You bastard! Get him!"_

 _The thugs charged at the young man, who's eyes constricted._

 _Five seconds later, the thugs were on the ground, groaning and holding their stab wounds in an attempt to stop the bleeding._

 _The newcomer cleaned his blade and approached a wary Ciel._

" _You okay, kid?"_

 _Ciel snapped out of his stupor and glared. "I'm not a kid! I happen to be 17!"_

…

…

" _I don't believe you," the newcomer said blankly._

" _I am!" Ciel shouted, stomping his foot._

" _You're not acting like it."_

 _Ciel growled, crossed his arms and looked away._

 _"..." He glanced back. "You have my thanks, stranger.. You saved me from those cretins. Might I know your name?"_

 _The other young man shrugged. "Kiyota Akabane. You're that famous heir on TV, aren't ya?"_

" _Indeed. I am Ciel Michealis. It is a pleasure."_

 _Kiyota looked around. "Shouldn't you have some kind of security service if you're so famous?"_

 _Ciel scowled. "Yes, well…I'm on my own at the moment. It's a long story, but I'm currently trying to get myself off the ground, as they say."_

 _Kiyota gave a hum and finished cleaning his blade, pocketing it._

 _Ciel raised a single eyebrow. "Not that I'm ungrateful, but surely there must've been a less violent way of defusing the situation?"_

" _Probably. But this was more fun."_

 _Ciel stared. "….You're insane, aren't you?"_

" _I prefer the term 'unhinged'. It sounds better."_

" _That still means you're mentally unbalanced."_

" _Why thank you."_

" _That wasn't a…never mind."_

 _Ciel looked around at the downed cretins and thought back to how quickly Kiyota had managed to take them down…._

" _Mr. Akabane?"_

" _You can call me Kiyota."_

 _Ciel gave a small smirk. "Well then, Kiyota…I have a proposition for you."_

* * *

After that situation, Ciel had himself a roommate/bodyguard. Granted, he wound up having to move to their current apartment for more space. Still, he had what he wanted. Someone, despite being a little unhinged, to guard him, as well as show him how to properly sustain himself.

In their time together, Kiyota showed Ciel how to do the menial tasks of daily life. Cooking, cleaning, dressing himself (that had been a little awkward for the two), and even what routes to take to avoid unsavory people like that group of thugs back then.

In return, Ciel had Kiyota as a roommate, taking care of any and all living expenses (he was still rich, after all).

A good deal, really. And it had been so far for nearly a year. If only Kiyota were a little more tolerable...

Oh well.

Ciel finished making the tea. "Care for some?"

Kiyota shrugged. "I suppose."

Ciel poured some tea into two cups. He brought them to a table and sat, setting one across from him for Kiyota. Said young man shrugged and sat down, taking the cup and sipping the tea.

"…Tastes fancy."

"Indeed, it is."

Ciel let his gaze roam to the letter he had received from his father earlier….

"Kiyota?"

"Hm?"

"…How would you feel about having two more roommates?"

Kiyota stared. "…Come again?"

Ciel wordlessly slid the letter towards Kiyota, not really bothered he would read it since it wasn't too personal.

He watched as Kiyota's eyes roamed back and forth as he read the letter.

"…Is he serious?"

Ciel nodded. "Yes."

"…And you're gonna do it?"

Ciel sighed. "I personally don't like it, but my father insists. Says it would be good PR for the corporation. 'Michealis Heir hosts Monsters'."

Kiyota snickered at that.

Ciel rolled his eyes. "Yes, not a good title, but the point is that the PR would still be good. In any case…I'm going through with it, as much as I'd prefer not to."

Kiyota sipped his tea. "Any reason not to look forward to it?"

Ciel sipped his own. "While I wouldn't compare myself to those bigots who make crass remarks about the Demihumans, I'm still rather wary of sharing the same space as them. From what I've researched, most could be rather dangerous if they chose to be aggressive."

Kiyota shrugged. "I could take them if it came to that."

"You've only faced _humans_ , Kiyota. Not actual monsters."

He shrugged again. "They don't seem so tough."

His eyes constricted as he grinned. "Besides…that means I'd get to cut actual monsters…rather exciting, now that I think about it."

Ciel deadpanned at Kiyota.

The latter tilted his head innocently. "What?"

Ciel rolled his eyes. "In any case, we are about to have two more roommates. A Cultural Exchange Coordinator will visit us tomorrow to sort out the details. "

Kiyota was about to sip his tea again…then stopped.

"Wait, why _two_?"

Ciel shrugged. "Simply because there's two of us."

"But this is technically your place. You pay for everything."

Ciel gave a scoff. "A technicality, they said."

Kiyota blinked. "So we're gonna host a monster person each?"

"Indeed," Ciel confirmed.

…

…

"Should we be happy or upset about this?"

Ciel finished his tea and stood. "I'll reserve judgement on that and simply call this an _inconvenience_ until we learn more tomorrow. For now, I think it best to get a good night's sleep."

Kiyota finished his own. "I can agree to that."

The two set their cups in the sink and prepared for bed.

Tomorrow would be very informative for these two.

* * *

 **A/N: And so ends the first chapter of my first venture into this series.**

 **Now, I will let everyone here know that I actually dislike harems. Some shows however, this one mainly, changed my mind a little.**

 **So given that…do I intend to fall back to my dislike and keep the future pairings single ones?**

 **Or will I give in to the temptation that is Monster Musume and follow through with a straight up harem?**

…

…

 **Fuck it. Let the harems commence!**

 **And yes, both will get a harem each.**

 **I have a general idea what girls I'll give to what guy (or at least, who the first monster girl for each will be), and it won't just be those from the main girls. Certain other monster girls in the show will be involved as well. Hell, I'll even add Agent Smith to one of them.**

 **I intend to let loose and have fun with the harem genre in this.**

 **Feel free to leave a review. I'd love to hear from y'all.**

 **See you in the next update.**

 **LATERS!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey y'all! I'm back with a new chapter!**

 **Alright, from the feedback I've seen in terms of follows, favs, reviews, and views…I'm off to a good start! Hooray for low expectations! :D**

 **And so now we see how our two main protagonists deal with what is about to occur. And which monster girl they're gonna get.**

 **Onwards!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Monster Musume/Every Day with a Monster Girl._

* * *

The morning had come, and Ciel had awoken from his sleep. Kiyota, on the other hand, stayed asleep, snoring with an open mouth. Ciel checked on him and deadpanned before heading to the kitchen.

The short heir pulled out some coffee mix and prepared to make coffee. As he placed the mix in, he checked the clock above the window.

 _Won't be long before the Cultural Exchange Coordinator gets here._

The coffee maker began its work, and Ciel sat at the table to ponder.

When he had gotten that letter yesterday informing him of what was to happen, he immediately began research on the Demihumans: where and how they were found, what kinds there were, what kind of culture each had, basically everything there was to know about these monsters.

As he had stated yesterday, many of the species of Demihumans truly could be dangerous were they to act aggressively. And also as he had stated, he was wary of them.

For instance, there were apparently creatures such as lamiais. Essentially, snake demihumans. If they happened to possess the traits of snakes, they could easily coil around an unsuspecting human and choke/crush them to death.

There were also creatures called harpies. From the pictures he had seen of them, their claws seemed razor sharp and could potentially claw a person's body open. Or even use their wings to lift an unsuspecting person high into the sky and drop them then and there, the fall killing the person.

And then there's the Centaur race. They were proud warriors, apparently, who could use swords, bows and arrows, even lances. It didn't take a genius to figure out how dangerous a monster with weapons could be. Also, with their lowers halves being that of a horse, it wouldn't be hard to imagine one of those hooves stomping a person's head to mush.

And there were so many more out there. Zombies, minotaurs, arachnids, dragons, mermaids, and so much more. Each with the potential to be a dangerous being. Many examples of how flowed through Ciel's mind.

Drowned in an area of water by a mermaid.

Eaten by a zombie.

Tied in a web by an arachnid.

Clawed in the gut by a harpie.

Crushed to death in the vice grip of a lamiai.

The list went on.

"Ciel, you okay?"

The short heir was snapped out of his reverie by a tired voice. He looked up to find Kiyota standing there with a tired expression.

"Yes, I'm quite alright." Ciel pointed behind himself. "Coffee should be ready about now."

Kiyota nodded and moved sluggishly towards the coffee maker.

 _Need...coffee~._

He poured two cups of coffee and brought them to the table, setting one down near Ciel.

"Thank you."

"Sure."

Kiyota sat across from him and sipped his coffee.

"Ah~…much more awake now."

Ciel sipped his own. "Indeed."

"…You okay?"

"In a sense, yes. Shouldn't be but a few minutes till the coordinator arrives."

"Any reservations?"

"None that I haven't already stated."

Ciel sighed. "In fact, I was _just_ thinking of the many ways Demihumans could harm a human."

Kiyota grinned. "Any that are violent?"

Ciel deadpanned.

"What? I'm just curious."

Ciel rolled his eyes. "Your mental unbalance is disturbing."

"And yet you've gotten used to it."

"Unfortunately."

That reminded him...

"Speaking of which, you'll need to keep that in check while the coordinator is here."

Kiyota frowned. "I will, but…don't these people do background checks?"

"You haven't done anything that would point towards your unhinged nature, have you?"

"…Nothing people have talked about."

"Then I doubt there is need to worry."

The doorbell rang.

Ciel set his cup down. "That must be the coordinator."

He stood and moved towards the door, Kiyota standing and following. As they neared, Ciel moved to the side to allow Kiyota to pass him. This was so the latter could look through the peephole, as the former was too short to reach it without a stool.

Kiyota looked through the peep hole and whistled. "Damn. If this is the coordinator, she's one hell of a looker."

Ciel facepalmed. "Seriously?"

"What? I can't comment on a woman's beauty?"

The short heir gave a "tch" and moved Kiyota aside. "I'll be the one to answer."

Kiyota chuckled. "Want her for yourself? Didn't think you were into older women."

Ciel chose not to respond at that attempt to get a rise out of him and opened the door.

Obviously, the woman before him was taller than him. She had pale brown eyes and long black hair. She wore a white dress shirt with black tie, a black blazer and matching professional skirt, and black panty hoes and heels. A pair of sunglasses over her eyes completed the look.

Ciel would begrudgingly admit that his unhinged roommate was right. This woman was quite attractive, and his single eye may have lingered on her long legs for longer than-.

Kiyota coughed. "Ahem."

Ciel blinked and quickly shook his head. He turned his head upward to address the government agent, who was currently staring at him with a shocked look on her face.

"Greetings. Are you the-?"

He didn't get any further due to suddenly being hugged by the woman, his face smothered by her impressive bust.

"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE ADORABLE!"

"MMMPH! MMMPH!"

Kiyota tried and failed to hold in his cackling.

"L-lucky bastard, haha!"

Ciel waved his arms about frantically, his face red from the softness of the agent's mammaries.

Ignoring Ciel's struggle, Kiyota turned to the woman.

"So," Kiyota said. "You're the coordinator?"

The woman turned to him and nodded. "Indeed. Agent Kuroko Smith. A pleasure."

"Likewise. For him also, I'm sure."

"MMMPH! MMMPH!"

"Speaking of, you think you could let him go?"

Smith pouted. "Do I have to?"

"MMMPH! MMMPH!"

"Given that he looks like he can't breath, I'd say yes."

She looked down at the struggling Ciel, gave a little giggle, then let him go. The short heir gasped for breath and stumbled back a bit. Kiyota put a hand on Ciel's shoulder to steady him.

"You doing alright there, shorty?"

"S-shut up!"

Kiyota merely chuckled. Ciel scowled, pat himself of any residue dust, and glared up at the agent.

"You will _not_ do that again."

"Unless I want to."

A tick mark appeared on Ciel's head.

Smith giggled. "Sorry. You're just so adorable."

Several more tick marks appeared.

"Still, didn't realize the heir would be a child."

Kiyota snickered at that.

Ciel growled. "I'll have you know that I am 18! And I will be treated as such!"

The gears turned in the agent's head as she processed that information.

…

…

Her eyes twinkled as she smiled. "That's good to know." _For more reasons than one._

Kiyota felt slight pity for Ciel, but was more amused than anything.

A cougar had found her prey.

* * *

The three were now sitting in the living room. Ciel and Kiyota occupying the couch, and Kuroko Smith sitting in an armchair across from them. Each held a cup of coffee to get them through the morning.

Kiyota noticed how Ciel glanced at the crossed legs of the hot agent.

 _ **We're not gonna let him live that down, right?**_

 _Oh most definitely not._

"So then," Smith began. "I congratulate you two for volunteering to host Demihumans."

Kiyota grunted. "Yeah. _Volunteer_. Let's go with that."

Ciel elbowed him in the side.

Smith smiled. "Yes, many have graciously volunteered for this Monster Exchange Program. And for each, a Cultural Exchange Coordinator is assigned."

She winked at Ciel. "So you'll be seeing me a lot."

Ciel showed no reaction, but a light blush snuck onto his face.

He cleared his throat. "Yes, well…that's all well and good, but I believe we should get through the process already. I imagine you're supposed to interview and review us as to how suitable we are as hosts and for what Demihuman we would prefer?"

Smith nodded. "Yes, that is the case…normally."

Ciel raised an eyebrow. "Normally?"

"Yeah, your father made some calls. Turns out he has some powerful connections, and he has made it clear there's no need to go through all that."

Ciel's single eye twitched. _Damn it, father._

Kiyota raised a hand. "Does that include me?"

Smith nodded. "Yes, actually. His father trusts his son enough to make the right kind of friends."

Ciel winced. Kiyota was the exact opposite of the kind of friend his father wanted for him.

"I'm okay with that," Kiyota grinned.

Then again, if this helped avoid any inquiries into Kiyota, then Ciel would leave it be.

"Me too, actually," Smith said. "I don't really go through that whole process sometimes."

Ciel deadpanned. "Seriously?"

"What? I'm a good judge of character. I can tell when someone's clean."

 _That doesn't mean you can just ignore standard procedure,_ Ciel thought dryly...

But again, if it avoided any background check into Kiyota, then Ciel would take this convenient turn of events.

He sighed in annoyance still. "Oh very well. Then how will it be decided about what Demihumans we host?"

"Oh, I've taken care of that already."

Ciel and Kiyota blinked.

"Really?" they both asked.

Smith smiled. "Yes. I was deciding whether to have the two go to you two, or to another young man and family of three respectively. Seeing you two were given the all clear, and given how this type of arrangement would be a first in the exchange program, I went with you two."

She pulled out a tablet w/stylus and handed it to Ciel. "All I really need is this. Both of you must simply sign on the dotted lines, and it will be official."

Ciel stared at the tablet. "…I don't see any words on here."

"I like to keep it simple."

Ciel deadpanned again. "Looks more like you just have it like this so you can do whatever you want involving us, and we wouldn't be able to protest due to signing this."

Smith simply took a long sip of her coffee.

…

…

…

…

She finished her sip and smiled. "I have no idea what you mean."

A tick mark appeared on his head. "Now see here-!"

Kiyota took the stylus and signed his name on the second dotted line.

More tick marks formed. "Kiyota?!"

"What? I want this done already. Besides, what's the worse that could happen if we sign a contract without knowing what it entails?"

Ciel gave the most deadpan stare he had ever given to Kiyota.

Said unhinged young man just smiled "innocently".

Ciel took a deep breath….and sighed.

"Oh fine."

He signed the first dotted line.

Smith suddenly, and rather quickly, snatched the tablet and stylus from Ciel. "Wonderful!"

Ciel and Kiyota blinked. That was comically fast.

Smith suddenly stood and yelled. "YOU CAN COME IN, BOYS!"

Several construction workers barged into the apartment and started remodeling.

Ciel stood up, quite upset. "Hey! What the hell?!"

"Don't mind them," Smith said. "They're just adding two new rooms for the two monsters staying with you."

"I did not agree to this!"

She waved her tablet in front of him with a smug smirk.

"…You're going to be a bother. I can just tell."

She put on a look of mock hurt. "Oh such hurtful words from an adorable young man."

He scowled. "Stop calling me that."

"Stop being adorable and I will."

Ciel raged, and Kiyota just laughed.

The latter turned to Smith. "You're gonna be fun to have around."

He leaned in to whisper. "By the way, he kept glancing at your legs. So you're good in getting his attention."

Smith grinned. "Good to know."

As quickly as they had come, the remodeling crew left.

Ciel stopped his raging and blinked.

Two new rooms had been built. All in a matter of seconds.

"…Wait, that's it?"

Kiyota, having moved towards the new rooms, whistled. "Goddamn, these guys are fast!"

"Yup!" Smith beamed. "They're hard workers and take their jobs very seriously."

Ciel had moved to see the rooms as well, and was impressed. The rooms looked quite good. And made at such a quick pace, too!

"…I don't suppose I could get the contact information of these men? Might consider hiring them."

Smith pat his head, much to his annoyance. "They're currently under contract for the government. Sorry."

Phooey.

Kiyota turned to Smith. "So, when do our two new roommates arrive?"

Smith checked her watch. "Right about now."

The sounds of a truck slowly backing up outside the apartment echoed.

Ciel deadpanned. "…They were already on their way, weren't they?"

Smith smirked. "Yes."

"So even if we hadn't agreed, you would've just left them with us anyway?"

She shrugged shamelessly. "Would've been too much work to haul them to the other options."

Ciel facepalmed. "Lazy woman."

He suddenly found himself smothered by the agent's impressive bust for the second time.

"Aww, such hurtful words," she whined overdramatically as she hugged him.

Ciel frantically fought to escape. "Kiyota! Get this woman off me!"

Kiyota, who had gotten an apple from…somewhere, just stood there, munching on the fruit.

"KIYOTA!"

He took another bite of the apple and slowly munched.

…

…

…

…

"We should probably go see our new roommates, yeah?"

Smith blinked, then sighed. "Yes, we should."

She reluctantly let go of Ciel, much to the latter's relief.

Ciel dusted himself and returned to his professional nature, choosing to ignore what happened.

"Now…can we get on with this?"

Smith nodded. "Of course. They're just outside."

She led them out.

* * *

Ciel and Kiyota weren't omnipotent. They knew they would be surprised no matter what Demihumans they got.

But still….

"I got a freaking snake girl?!"

"They're called Lamiais," Smith corrected. "But yes, she is a girl and part snake."

Kiyota could care less about what they were actually called at the moment. That long, red snake tail kept his attention.

Was it scaly? How scaly was it? Would it hurt if he took a scale off for himself? Would he even be allowed to now that he thought about it? What if he tried? Would she fight back? Would he get in trouble with the government if he tried that?

"E-excuse me?"

Kiyota was brought back to reality by the snake girl in question. His homestay, in technical terms. He drew his gaze up to the nervous looking girl.

…She was kinda pretty, now that he looked at her properly. Long bright red hair, amber eyes with slitted snake pupils, and an incredibly large bust. Sure, she had large pointy red ears, fangs, and a few scales on her cheeks, and of course that _tail_ , but…they didn't hurt her beauty in any way. If anything, they made her look exotic.

 ** _Aww, you like her. That is just adorable._**

 _Shut up._

The girl bowed a little. "My name is Miia. I'm thankful that you've allowed me to stay with you as a homestay. I hope we can become close."

Kiyota blinked…and scratched his head sheepishly.

"R-right. S-sure. N-no problem. Name's Kiyota."

She smiled a beautiful smile. "Hello Kiyota."

Were monsters supposed to be this stunning?

He turned to Ciel. "This won't be so bad."

Ciel wasn't sure he agreed. Mainly because of who _he_ got as a homestay.

"You got a problem, little one?"

Ciel scowled. "Don't call me little."

She tilted her head. "Why not? You _are_ little."

Miia added her own input from the side. "I agree."

Kiyota and Smith snickered.

Ciel took a deep breath….and let it out.

He looked back towards his homestay. She was clearly of the Arachne Demihumans, based on her spider-like lower half. As for her upper half, it was that of a young woman…an attractive young woman, if Ciel were to admit. She had short lavender hair and six pupil-less monochromatic red eyes. Her attire was rather revealing, showing a good portion of her rather large bust. Ciel may have stared at that part of her anatomy before shaking his head and returning his gaze to her own.

She was smirking at him….

Shit, did she catch him staring? Misdirection must be had!

Ciel cleared his throat. "…I would prefer it if you did not comment on my short stature. I already get it enough from Kiyota."

Said person whispered into Miia's ear. "Don't listen to him. Comment all you want. It's funny to see him rage."

Miia giggled, and Ciel deadpanned before turning back to his homestay.

"I am Ciel Michealis. Might I know your name?"

The spider girl smirked. "Rachnera Arachnera. A pleasure."

Ciel pursed his lips. An interesting name that fit her perfectly.

"Still, I didn't think I would be hosted by a kid."

Mental glass shattered.

"Hey yeah!" Miia pointed out. "How's a kid acting as a host family all by himself?"

More shattered mental glass.

Kiyota ran a hand down his face and chuckled. "Here we go again."

"I'M EIGHTEEN, GODDAMN IT!"

Both Miia and Rachnera actually flinched at how loud that was. But then both blinked when what he said settled in.

"You're eighteen?!" they both exclaimed.

Ciel glared. " _Yes._ "

The gears turned in the Arachne's head as she processed that information.

…

…

Rachnera's many eyes twinkled as she smiled. "That's good to know." _For more reasons than one._

Smith's mood suddenly darkened, while Miia and Kiyota sweatdropped.

Now a cougar _and_ a spider had found their prey.

* * *

 **A/N: And there you go! Hope you all enjoyed that!**

 **Kiyota got Miia, and Ciel got Rachnera, who along with Smith has taken an early interest in the short heir.**

 **Lucky. -_-**

 **Alright, so next chapter will be the hosts and their homestays interacting more with each other. Maybe some respective bonding and all that.**

 **If you all liked this and want to be kept up to date, feel free to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it! I'd love to hear from you guys.**

 **See you in the next update.**

 **LATERS!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Welcome to another installment for Of Heirs, Monsters, and the Unhinged! Been a while, but I got stuck with how I wanted this chapter to go, and I got busy bringing my most popular story out of it's unwanted hiatus.**

 **For this chapter, I just said "screw it" and wrote. What I wrote…seems legit to me. Let's see what you all think.**

 **On with the chapter!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Monster Musume/Everyday Life with a Monster Girl._

* * *

Shortly after introducing the monster girls to them, Smith had given Ciel and Kiyota a little guidebook about the Cultural Exchange Between Species Bill. What it was, how it worked, and basically, what not to do.

While the two were busy, Smith whispered something to Rachnera. Something only Miia managed to hear while Ciel and Kiyota were distracted by the guidebooks.

"It would be in your best interest not to try anything untoward towards Mr. Michealis, Rachnera. After all, it would violate the bill and get the both of you in trouble."

Rachnera merely smirked and whispered back in response.

"Is that the _real_ reason you are warning me? Or do you believe that I am intruding on something you have made claim to?"

The two women stared at each other for a bit.

…

…

Smith half-heartedly waved her off. "Oh nonsense! I just wouldn't want a homestay to end so soon, is all!"

She then gave a dark look. "But in all seriousness, the adorable one is mine."

Rachnera gave a wide smile and chuckled mischievously. "Whatever you say, Agent Smith."

Miia sweatdropped. _That poor little man._

Meanwhile, Ciel and Kiyota flipped through the guidebook some distance away for a private conversation.

"Hm," the former hummed. "If they hurt us, accident or otherwise, they will be deported."

The latter frowned. "That's a little unfair. Accidents can happen."

Ciel grunted. "Suppose they wanted to be strict."

They kept skimming.

"No sexual conduct whatsoever," Ciel noted. "That won't be a problem."

"No banging the hot monster girls?"

Ciel deadpanned. "… _Yes_ , Kiyota. No banging the hot monster girls. Thank you for putting it bluntly."

Kiyota grinned. "I like to keep things simple."

Ciel rolled his eyes and kept reading. "Despite that, platonic or romantic relationships are still allowed. So long as any acts of passion, marriage, or intercourse, as previously stated, are not committed."

"Hmm….."

"Kiyota."

The young man blinked. "Yeah?"

"Don't even try it," Ciel warned.

"Try what?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

Kiyota raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid I don't. Care to enlighten me?"

"Don't start a romantic relationship with your homestay. Platonic will do just fine."

Kiyota frowned. "Any particular reason I should agree to that?"

"We are their hosts. We are only housing them. Befriending them is the most we can bother with. Adding romance will only bring unnecessary drama into the mix and ruin whatever peace we can manage with them."

Kiyota's frown deepened. "I didn't realize befriending them would be a bother."

Ciel sighed. "You know what I mean."

Kiyota glanced back towards the monster girls they were housing, and then sweatdropped when one was having a staredown with Agent Smith.

 _Those two are gonna be fun,_ Kiyota thought dryly.

His gaze met Miia's, who waved at him with a smile. He smiled and waved back.

He turned back to Ciel. "It's a little too soon for the idea of a romantic relationship, you know."

"Doesn't matter. I'm bringing it up now so we can avoid it in the future. We are their hosts, plain in simple. Maybe friends, but nothing more. Understand?"

Kiyota rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever."

"Good."

"…But hypothetically speaking-."

Ciel groaned.

"-what if _she_ were to try at a romantic relationship with _me_?"

Ciel went back to his guidebook. "She might very well try, yes."

Kiyota blinked. "…Really?"

"I did my research," Ciel elaborated, absentmindedly flipping a page. "The Lamiai are an all female species. In order to reproduce, they kidnap men and lay with them, sometimes even having orgies. Afterwards, the men are given the choice to leave, or stay as 'communal husbands'."

The traitorous part of Kiyota's brain imagined himself being surrounded by several snake girls in an orgy.

He coughed into his fist to clear his mind. "D-did any stay?"

"Most did, yes. They liked the sex, apparently."

Yet again, Kiyota's brain betrayed him. Though this time, to an image of him and Miia only about to-.

He clapped the sides of his head.

 _Damn it, brain!_

 _ **Don't blame me. Blame your hormones.**_

 _I still blame you!_

"After their revealed existence and the Bill, however," Ciel continued, unaware of Kiyota's internal argument with himself. "Those kidnappings were stopped completely by the government in order to prevent any future men from being held against their will."

Kiyota blinked. "Huh…so I won't have to worry about being taken?"

"I never said that."

Kiyota raised an eyebrow.

"Think about it, Kiyota. The Lamiai are an all female species. They _need_ men in order to reproduce. And they've currently taken to sending 'representatives' in the exchange program after the Bill prevented their usual customs. What does that sound like to you?"

Kiyota blinked, looked to Miia, back at Ciel, then Mia, then Ciel, then Miia again.

"…Are you saying that-?"

"I don't make assumptions," Ciel interrupted, making Kiyota turn back to him. "Assumptions lead to unnecessary complications and drama. I'm only informing you of what I've researched. Still, I wouldn't put it past the higher-ups in the lamiai community to come up with the idea of sending some of their own in the exchange program in order to convince unsuspecting men to willingly return to their home for mating purposes."

Ciel finally turned to Kiyota. "This is merely a theory, not a proven fact. It ultimately depends on Miia. Whether she is here for pure intentions or for the reasons I've suggested, you're still responsible for her. As her host, you must properly take care of her and respect whatever cultural customs she may have."

Kiyota smirked. "You don't have to worry. I can handle it. I've handled _you_ , after all."

Ciel was not amused and showed it with a deadpan.

Kiyota merely chuckled.

Ciel sighed and closed the guidebook, pocketing it. "I believe we have a basic understanding of the Bill now. We've kept our new guests waiting long enough, don't you think?"

Kiyota closed his own. "Indeed."

They moved towards the two monsters girls, one of whom was still having that staredown with Smith, while Miia just watched helplessly with a sweatdrop.

Ciel approached Smith. "If there was nothing else, then I believe our business is concluded for today."

Smith turned and smiled. "Yes, that was it. I have some other matters to attend to after this."

Ciel and Kiyota idly wondered if she would actually just ignore those matters entirely.

"I'll check in from time to time to see how you four are doing," she continued. "Making sure everything is in order, and that there are no violations of the law occurring."

She gave a "look". "So try not to give in to any temptations, okay?"

The two young men sweatdropped, the shorter one replying, "We'll keep that in mind."

Smith then gave Ciel another smothering hug. "Until next time, Ciel~."

She smirked at Rachnera, who's mood darkened. Kiyota and Miia sweatdropped.

 _That won't end well,_ the latter two thought.

Ciel briefly debated whether this was worth raging over for a third time today.

…

…

It wasn't.

He simply gave a muffled grunt in the affirmative while blushing.

Smith turned to Rachnera. "Remember what I said, kay?"

Rachnera merely smirked.

Smith let go of Ciel. "Oh, before I forget, here's my number."

She handed him a card with her name and number on it.

"Just in case you have any questions. Or just wanna talk."

Ciel pocketed the card. "I'll keep it in mind."

"Wonderful! Have fun, then!"

She turned, waving as she left, leaving the two hosts and their homestays alone.

…

…

Ciel shook his head. "That woman will be a headache in the future."

Kiyota smirked. "To you, maybe."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Dude, she just gave you her number."

"It's for professional reasons, Kiyota."

"Whatever you say."

Ciel narrowed his eye.

Kiyota snickered, then turned to Miia. "Wanna see your new room?"

Miia beamed. "Sure."

Kiyota held his arm out, which Miia took with enthusiasm, and led her inside.

Ciel and Rachnera just stood on the spot somewhat awkwardly.

…

…

Ciel cleared his throat. "Er…shall I show you to your room, then?"

Rachnera smirked. "You shall. Care to offer your arm as well?"

Ciel rolled his eyes and halfheartedly held his arm out to her. She took it, but the awkward result was that Ciel's arm was raised quite a bit due to the height difference between the two.

Rachnera giggled. "Little one."

A tick mark appeared on Ciel.

 _Goddamn it._

* * *

Miia's eyes sparkled as she checked her room out. She slither-zipped around her room in excitement.

"This is perfect!"

Kiyota couldn't help but chuckle at her enthusiasm.

As she continued inspecting her room, Kiyota's eyes roamed down to her tail….

 _I still kinda want that scale._

He shook his head. Acting on that thought would get him in a lot of trouble. Besides, Miia seemed nice so far. Why try something so twisted on someone who hadn't done anything to warrant it? He'd have to be insane to-.

 _Oh shit, right._

…

…

Well, since that ship sailed _long_ ago, time to get that scale!

He reached inside his blazer and slowly pulled out his knife, his eyes constricting.

Just a simple quick slice, and that scale would come _flying_ off-!

Miia turned to him with a beam. "So, I guess we should get to know each other, right?"

 **THUNK!**

Miia blinked and looked around. "What was that noise?"

"Nothing!" Kiyota answered too quickly. His eyes were still constricted, and he had a bit of a manic grin, giving him a crazed look….

Oh, and his knife was now stuck in the ceiling. That sucked.

"Are you sure?" Miia asked with a tilt of her head. "It sounded like something hit something."

"Nope! Nothing happened!"

"Why are you making that face?"

"…Face freeze."

One could literally see the dots of confusion appear above Miia as she gave a confused look.

"It's, er…a human thing! Yeah. Happens from time to time to some people when a certain face is made. "

Kiyota inwardly cursed. Why did he think she would fall for that? Sure, monster people were hidden. But that didn't mean they were oblivious to details on humans, right?

"Oh your poor thing!"

Apparently Miia _was_ oblivious. How oddly lucky for Kiyota.

 _Huh. My bullshit excuse worked._

…

…

 _Thanks, brain! I owe ya._

 _ **Oh no you don't! I had nothing to do with this one!**_

She sped towards him and cupped his cheeks. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Kiyota blushed a bit due to her face being so close to his, as he was once again reminded that she was actually really pretty.

"N-no, it's fine! I, er, I mean, I just need to-."

"Oh look! Your face is back to normal!"

 _Wait, what?_

Kiyota glanced behind Miia towards a nearby mirror. And sure enough, his eyes looked normal, and his manic grin was gone. Only a confused look remained.

 _Huh…weird. That usually lasts longer._

"That's…good!" he said aloud. "Yeah…."

Miia tilted her head. "You seem confused."

"N-no, just…I'm fine, really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay…."

It was at this point Kiyota noticed their faces were still rather close.

He blushed a little. "N-Not that I really care about personal space, but…."

Miia quickly slid back, laughing sheepishly. "Right. Sorry."

Both shuffled awkwardly for a bit.

…

…

 _Crap. Awkward silence. Need a topic of discussion._

"…So," Kiyota finally said. "You're a snake girl?"

Miia nodded. "Yes. A Lamiai, to be clear."

"Huh…what's that like? Being a snake gi- Lamiai, I mean."

"It's wonderful!" she beamed…then sweatdropped. "E-except when it's cold, though. I'd either go into hibernation by accident, or…well, die."

Kiyota just stared at her, causing her to give a nervous laugh.

 _Mental note. Prepare for when it snows here. Might have to keep an eye on the thermostat, too._

"…Well, you won't have to worry about that. I'm a responsible person."

 _When I don't lose it, that is._

Miia smiled. "That's reassuring to hear."

Kiyota smiled back. It was going good so far.

… _Wonder how Ciel's doing with the spider lady?_

* * *

"And this is where you'll be staying. I hope it is to your liking."

Ciel waited with crossed arms as Rachnera inspected her new room.

…

…

"Nope."

Ciel blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"Nope. It's not to my liking."

Ciel frowned. "Well…I suppose I can make a call to Smith or those workers and-."

Rachnera crawled past him.

"Where are you going?"

"To find a better room."

Ciel followed with a scowl. "All other rooms are taken. If you would just wait, I can- oof!"

The short heir bumped into the rear end of Rachnera's spider body. He rubbed his nose in annoyance.

"Any reason you just stopped all of a sudden?"

"This will do."

"What?"

Rachnera starting _climbing up the walls_ to the ceiling, where an attic door was. She pulled the door down, a ladder extending downward, and crawled through the opening.

Ciel just stared. "…You intend to sleep in the attic?"

"Of course," she called out from the attic. "It's nice and dark in here, with a single window for a nice view. It suits my needs."

"…You need a bed, at least. There isn't one up there."

"I can make my own."

"With what?"

"My webbing, of course."

"…Ah. Yes. Of course. Your webbing. Quite obvious, really."

"So the little man is sarcastic? How cute."

Ciel's eye twitched.

"…Yes, well, I suppose this is where we get to know each other. Introductions and all that."

"Of course," she giggled. "Come on up, then."

…

…

"I'd prefer it if we conversed down here," Ciel insisted.

Rachnera poked her head out of the opening. "Oh? Why is that?"

"Um…there's more space."

"The attic is spacious enough."

"There's more light down here."

"There's a perfectly good window up here, and it's the middle of the day."

"…"

"Come on~," she smirked as she pulled back into the attic. "I won't bite~."

Ciel stared up at the ominous looking attic….

"Ugh. Fine."

Ciel tentatively started climbing the ladder up to the attic. He climbed through the opening and stood up.

The attic was like any other attic. A large space in the roof of a place that held items that were not in use. It got quite dusty at times. A single window paved light into the area.

"Such a brave little man you are~."

Ciel scowled and found Rachnera sitting in what appeared to be a hammock made of webbing.

"Is that where you'll be sleeping?"

She nodded.

"…Neat trick."

"Thank you." She pat the spot on the web hammock beside her. "Care to take a seat?"

The image of Ciel being caught in a web and eaten by a monstrous spider entered his mind.

"…I think I'll stand, thank you."

"What's wrong? Nervous?"

"No, I-."

"Do you find me repulsive?"

"What?"

She cupped her cheek and smirked. "Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you find the human part of me very attractive. If your staring earlier was anything to go by."

Ciel grimaced. He should've been more discre- er, more of a gentleman…yeah, that.

"Though I wonder how you feel about my spider half?"

Ciel grimaced even more.

 _Crap…this woman is certainly perceptive._

He sighed. "If you must know…I'm wary of you."

"I see…."

"But please do not take it personally," he continued…before choosing to sit beside Rachnera on her web hammock, much to her surprise. "I am wary of all Demihumans. This includes Miia, whom my roommate Kiyota is left alone with."

"Are you worried for him?"

"Somewhat. He can handle himself. Of course, Demihumans like Miia have been known to bend metal with those tails of theirs."

"You've done your research."

"I'd be a fool not to have."

She suddenly hugged him from behind, making sure to press her large breasts against him.

Ciel meeped.

"So~," Rachnera cooed. "What research have you done on someone like me?"

She enjoyed how her host was trying to stammer out a response. How he squirmed at such close proximity to a woman. Let it be known that Rachnera liked to be a tease. But she was genuinely curious about how much Ciel knew about her species.

Ciel gulped. "U-Um…w-well, I've learned that y-your s-species tends to have s-superhuman reflexes and agility."

"Mhm~."

"A-And…you have t-trouble with high or low temperatures."

"Good~. What else?"

"And…er…this is something I was actually curious about. Is it true that drinking any form of caffeine can get you drunk?"

Rachnera casually tapped her clawed fingers on Ciel's other arm. "Well…yes. Me drinking caffeine is essentially the same as any human drinking alcohol. A rather annoying effect, really."

Ciel's single eye glanced at her clawed fingers. They looked rather sharp, certainly capable of ripping through his flesh if she wished it….

Ciel shook his head. "I-I see. I'll make a note of that, then."

Rachnera hummed. "…Tell me, is this the closest you've ever been to a woman?"

"…P-Perhaps."

She smirked. "How does it feel?"

"R-Rather invasive."

"I don't see you opposing it."

"I-I'm working my w-way up to it."

She chuckled and held Ciel close, earning bright red face from the heir.

"I must say, you are surprisingly huggable."

Ciel wasn't sure whether he should take that as a compliment or be offended by it.

"T-Thank you?"

"Your stuttering is rather cute."

Ciel clamped his mouth shut.

"It's amusing, really. You say you're wary of me, and yet you become a stuttering mess when close to me. I suppose human hormones overtake any hesitance you might feel, hm~?"

…

…

"We could use some tea. Would you like some tea? I'm gonna get us some tea. S-Safe tea, of course."

Ciel tried to move, but Rachnera simply tightened her grip.

"If I didn't know any better," she grinned. "I'd say you were trying to get away from me."

"N-No, no, just, um, g-going to get us s-some r-refreshments!"

She leaned down to his ear to whisper. "I can give you something _refreshing_."

She leaned back and unzipped the zipper of her top, allowing her large breasts to bounce free.

Ciel went comically white.

"Given your earlier staring, perhaps you'd like a _closer_ look?"

And that's when Ciel lost it. He flailed wildly and fell off the web hammock and flat onto the floor board. Rachnera let out a hearty laugh at that.

Ciel quickly got up and pat any residue dust off.

"T-Time for that t-tea n-now, y-yes? Yes. O-Off I g-go!"

He practically scrambled down the stairs.

Rachnera giggled even more, zipping her top back. Hormones over hesitance indeed.

"This little one is going to be _fun_ ~."

* * *

Kiyota and Miia raised their heads in confusion when they heard a whoosh of wind go by the bedroom opening, almost like someone just rushed by in an attempt to escape.

"What was that?" Miia asked.

"Not sure…."

Kiyota noticed a glint above him. The rush of wind had apparently loosened the knife stuck on the ceiling, and it was about to fall….

Right on top of Miia.

"Shit."

"What?"

The knife came loose and fell, turning upside down so that the blade end would impact. Time seemed to slow for Kiyota. He moved with a surprising amount of speed, quickly wrapping his arms around Miia and tackling her out of the way of the falling knife. It stabbed into the floorboard with a thunk.

 _Jeez. Close call._

"Y-You saved me."

Kiyota blinked and found that he and Miia were now on the ground. They were once again rather close, with Kiyota holding Miia close and somehow tangled up in her tail. She seemed to revere Kiyota with awe.

"…Well, I _did_ say I was responsible."

 _ **Didn't you throw that knife up there in the first place?**_

 _Shut up, Brain._

"You're like a handsome prince saving his princess."

 _Wait, what?_

Her tail suddenly tightened around Kiyota as she placed a hand on his chest.

"Can I ask you something?"

He blinked. "…Sure. But mind if I ask you something in return?"

This could be his chance to see if Ciel's theory is true or not.

"Of course."

"Alright, ask away, then."

"…Are you afraid of me?"

Kiyota just stared. "…I don't think I'd have saved you just now if I was scared of you."

It probably wasn't as simple as that. Even if he _was_ scared of her, he'd probably have had one of those "character development" moments where he got over that fear to save her. But he wasn't scared of her to begin with. Ciel was the wary one of the two. Kiyota just took things in stride.

"But to answer your question," he continued. "No. I don't find you scary…Ciel might be wary, but don't take it personally. He's not a bigot or anything. Just cautious."

She seemed to have mixed feelings about that. "I see…."

"Don't worry about it. He's actually a cool guy. And funny. Mainly when you comment on his height. He'll throw a fit like you wouldn't believe."

"…" Miia giggled. "He really is small. Like a child."

"I know, right?"

She giggled more.

Kiyota gave himself a mental pat. Score one for easing her worries.

"So, what did you wanna ask me?" she asked.

… _Well, let's see if she's honest._

"Miia…why did you volunteer in the Exchange program?"

She froze, unintentionally tightening her tail around Kiyota.

 _Ack!_

"O-Oh, you know! F-For, um, cultural purposes! Yeah! Just wanted to see the human world!"

Kiyota nodded. "Yeah. Yeah. Makes sense…now why are you _really_ here?"

"W-What makes you think-?"

"Other than your sudden stutter, your tail has been squeezing me tight for the past minute. Almost like you're nervous…speaking of, can you please loosen it? Getting kinda hard to breathe."

Miia eeped and loosened her tail, allowing Kiyota to breathe. She then fiddled with her fingers, looking sheepish and guilty.

"…P-Promise you won't be mad?"

"Only if you're honest."

"…" Miia sighed. "My species is…only female. We have no males, so we have to lure human men to our tribe for mating purposes. We give them the choice to stay or leave, but they tend to stay because, well, sex."

"Makes sense."

Also, he already knew this from Ciel's theory, but now it's being confirmed.

"After humans discovered us and the Bill, my species found it difficult to lure more men to mate. Once the humans announced the Exchange program…my tribe got an idea."

"They send some of their own into the program to try and bring men back to their tribe for mating purposes?"

She blinked. "Y-Yes. How did you-?"

"Ciel's a _really_ smart person."

"H-He figured it out?"

"More like he had a _theory_ , but now it's confirmed, I guess."

She looked down with a frown.

"…So, were you going to straight up kidnap me, or-?

Her eyes widened. "O-Oh no! Nothing like that! I was…going to convince you to join."

"By seduction, I wager?"

"…T-That was one way, yes." She sighed. "I'm sorry. I wasn't going to deceive you or anything like that. I was just…hoping to convince you after we got to know each other more."

"Hmm."

Miia whimpered a little. Great, the one thing she was supposed to do right and she gets caught. Now her host is probably going to report her and have her sent back. And who knows what the government would do to her tribe as a punishment for trying to pull a fast one on them like this?

"If I asked you to forget about what your tribe wanted you to do, would you do it?"

What?

She looked up in confusion. "Y-You're not going to report me?"

"Nope."

"B-But why?"

Kiyota shrugged. "Because you seem like a nice snake girl. And you only just got here. Don't really see a reason to have you sent back."

"But-."

"Besides, you were just trying to help out your tribe. Can't really fault you for that."

He scratched his cheek. "And, er…I'd prefer it if you stayed."

Miia stared at Kiyota in awe again.

He cleared his throat. "…S-So, um, we'll just keep it our little secret. Okay?"

"O-Okay."

"…And not that I wouldn't enjoy laying with a bunch of snake girls, but I kinda like it here, so…maybe forget about that little plan of yours?"

Miia beamed suddenly. "Consider it forgotten!"

"…Just like that?"

"Yes. Why?"

"N-No reason."

She seemed to give up on it rather quickly. Sure him finding out so soon might be a factor, but still, just like that?

Kiyota looked towards the knife. "…Well anyway, let me just put this knife away. No need to leave it here and cause an accident."

He tried to move, but he was still wrapped in Miia's tail.

"…Um, Miia? Kinda tangled up here."

"O-Oh, right."

Miia untangled her tail, and Kiyota carefully stepped out. He grabbed the knife, and moved out of the room.

"Be back in a sec."

Miia watched him leave.

…

…

"H-He wants me to stay. A-And he's not afraid of me…."

Miia cupped her blushing cheeks. "H-Have I found my prince like in those human fairy tales?"

An image of Kiyota carrying Miia bridal-style entered her mind.

" _My beloved."_

" _My darling."_

Miia squealed. "Y-Yes! I have!"

She looked determined. "Sorry, tribe, but my darling Kiyota is _mine_!"

* * *

Ciel sat in the kitchen, a cup of tea in his shaking hand.

"Hey Cie-."

Ciel yelped and jumped a little, spilling some of his tea.

"Yeesh, jumpy much?"

Ciel set his tea down and quickly cleaned the mess with a napkin.

Kiyota sat across from him. "I take it didn't go well with Rachnera?"

"…Define 'well'."

Kiyota whistled. "That bad?"

"N-Not bad," Ciel corrected, throwing the napkin away. "She just…liked to be up close and…personal."

Kiyota raised an eyebrow. "She try to hurt you?"

"No, no, n-nothing like that. She's just…q-quite the woman."

…Kiyota grinned. "Did she kiss you?"

"N-No!"

"Did you cop a feel?"

"Goodness, no!"

"Did she pleasure you?"

"No!"

"Did she do anything sexual?

"…No."

"You hesitated."

"W-Well, the term 'sexual' can take on many meanings, so-."

"On my god, she did something sexual to you."

"Nothing happened!"

"Your red face says otherwise."

Ciel scowled. "…Okay, she _might_ have…unzipped her top in front of me."

"She wants you."

"That isn't what's happening here!"

"Dude, no girl goes straight to opening their tops to a guy unless they _really_ want him."

Ciel scoffed. "Not unless they want something. I've seen it plenty of times when I've been with my father to events.. Some scheming woman trying to get close to a rich man by using their feminine wiles. It happens."

Kiyota frowned. "I don't think that's what she's doing."

"I know that. I'm not an idiot. Rachnera happens to exhibit habits of another type of woman I've seen at events."

"And that is?"

"The tease."

Kiyota tilted his head. "…Well, I guess flashing her tits could be considered an _extreme_ form of teasing."

Ciel grabbed his cup of tea and sipped it. "Indeed. She's simply trying to get a reaction out of me for her own amusement."

"If that rush of wind earlier was you, then she clearly succeeded."

"…Yeah."

Kiyota grinned. "Will I have to expect seeing you run away like that every time she teases you?"

"N-No."

"You stuttered."

"That doesn't mean anything!"

"It means everything."

Ciel growled. "Don't you have your own homestay to tend to?"

"Oh yeah, wanted to talk to you about that. Turns out, your theory was right."

Ciel blinked. "…So she _was_ sent to lure men back?"

Kiyota nodded. "Yeah, but don't worry. That won't happen. I talked her our of it."

"…You talked her out of it?" Ciel repeated.

"Yeah."

"And she agreed to it just like that?"

"Surprisingly yes."

"…I have suspicions about that."

Kiyota shrugged. "It was definitely a surprise, but I doubt it's anything underhanded. I think she's genuine. Overall, we're starting out great."

"Oh really?"

"Eeyup."

"Then tell me…why do you have your knife out?"

Kiyota blinked, then looked at the knife in his hand….

"Oh, it fell from the ceiling and was about to skewer Miia. I moved her out of the way."

"And just _how_ did it get in the ceiling in the first place?"

"…I might have thrown it up there."

" _Why_?"

"…Well, er…I might have…tried to cut a scale off Miia."

"Motherfu- Kiyota!"

"You almost swore."

"Don't change the subject!"

Kiyota raised his hands. "Look, it was…a lapse in control. I'm fine. I won't snap around her."

Ciel rubbed his eyes. "You seriously need some help."

"You know, you didn't _have_ to accept a homestay for you and me. Especially knowing how I am. You could've easily said no."

"If I had, I would've had to explain _why_ I said no. And you and I both know why I can't do that."

Kiyota sighed sadly. "I know...but do you really think this can last?"

"It's lasted for months, now," Ciel stated. "I can make it last longer."

"...If you say so."

Both sat in silence, Ciel sipping his tea and Kiyota twirling his knife on the table.

…

…

"Welp," Kiyota said, standing up and hiding away his knife. "That got slightly depressing. I'm going back to Miia. You should probably go back to Rachnera."

He grinned mischievously. "Try not to run away if she gets personal again, kay?"

Ciel rolled his eyes as Kiyota left….

"Ugh, I'm going to have to return to her eventually."

A loud crash was suddenly heard, followed by a grunt from Kiyota and a shout from Miia.

"Ack!"

"MY DARLING!"

Ciel quickly stood up and rushed out the kitchen into the hallway and found…Miia with her tail wrapped around Kiyota. At first, he panicked and thought she was strangling his roommate. But then he got a closer look and found that she was…hugging Kiyota lovingly.

"…Well, now we know why she agreed so quickly. Also, what did I say earlier about this, Kiyota?"

Kiyota grinned sheepishly. "U-Um...she initiated it?"

"Poor excuse, Kiyota." Ciel sighed. "Miss Miia?"

Miia blinked and saw Ciel, then suddenly looked worried. "Y-Yes?"

"Would you kindly keep whatever… _this_ is in your room, please?"

Miia gasped. "Alone time with my darling? YES!"

She quickly dragged Kiyota into her room and shut the door.

Ciel scowled. "AND DON'T TRY ANYTHING! I DON'T NEED ONE BEING DEPORTED AND THE OTHER SENT TO JAIL!"

"NOTHING WILL STAND IN THE WAY OF OUR LOVE!"

"G-GOT IT- ACK!"

That "ack" was more than likely due to Kiyota being stuck in a constrictor hold by Miia's snake tail.

Ciel facepalmed. "Oh god, why is every woman I've run into recently a cause for headache?"

"Oh come now, I'm not so bad~."

Ciel had a mini-heart attack and fell back.

Rachnera smirked in amusement. "Did I startle you?"

Ciel just stared up at her. "…You're going to be incorrigible, aren't you?"

"Perhaps."

He sighed and sat up. "Any reason why you came down?"

"You took too long to get back," she shrugged. "I came to see what happened."

"I take it you saw that little display with Kiyota and Miia?"

She chuckled. "I did. Poor boy. Having a Lamiai fall head over heels in love with you can be painful."

"How would you know?"

"I've been around. Seen many things."

"Ah."

Ciel shifted a little. "Er…I apologize for running off like that. It was rather rude to leave a lady alone."

Rachnera cupped her chin and smiled elegantly. "It's alright. I understand if I freaked you out. I imagine you've never seen a naked pair of breasts?"

Ciel's face flushed red. "W-Well…n-no. Y-You're the first."

She grinned. "And?"

"…T-They looked nice."

She moved a hand to her top. "I can give you one more look for being honest, if you'd like?"

"N-No, no, no!" Ciel shouted, waving his arms about. "There's no need for that!"

"Are you saying you don't want to see them?"

"Don't try to put words in my mouth! Or make me admit to anything I don't wish to!"

Rachnera let out more laughter, cupping her cheek. "Hahaha! Oh, you truly are an amusing little man."

Ciel's eye twitched. "…You definitely _will_ be incorrigable."

She simply smiled mischievously.

Ciel huffed and looked away.

Rachnera giggled and took the chance to study her host's appearance. He really did look like a child, especially right now with how indignant he clearly felt. And yet he spoke with maturity…when he wasn't being held by a beautiful woman, that is. And he very clearly had a problem with his height, given his reactions to being referred to a "little".

There was one thing that drew her attention, though.

"Why do you have that eyepatch? If you don't mind me asking?"

Ciel went rigid, and he suddenly regarded her with such coldness that it made her blink in shock.

"That is not something I am willing to reveal," he snarled. "And I would _appreciate_ it if you didn't inquire further."

Rachnera frowned. She had clearly touched on a sore subject. And given they had just met, she wasn't surprised to find he wasn't willing to share the story behind it.

"…Very well. I apologize for bringing it up. I didn't realize it was such a sore topic."

Ciel took several deep breaths to calm himself.

"…I…apologize as well. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. You didn't know."

Even so, he did _not_ need to revisit that particular memory. He also needed to remain civil with his homestay. He didn't want any unnecessary drama between himself and Rachnera.

Rachnera smiled. "It's okay…let's hug it out, shall we?"

"Wait, wha-?"

Rachnera grabbed Ciel and gave him a hug, smothering his face into her large breasts.

"MMMPH! MMMPH!"

"Oh, you know you like it~."

Ciel flailed his arms about, trying and failing to free himself.

Rachnera simply giggled before finally letting Ciel go.

He gasped for breath. "Y-You will _not_ do that again!"

"Unless I want to."

"Argh, you're worse than the Smith woman!"

"I must be doing something right, then."

Ciel raged, earning more giggling from the Arachne. She turned her gaze towards the kitchen for a moment.

"…I believe you said something earlier about refreshments?"

That got Ciel to stop raging. "…I did."

She smirked. "Well, I wouldn't mind a cup of tea. I don't suppose you have the kind without caffeine. I wouldn't want to become intoxicated, as amusing as that would be."

Ciel pat himself of dust. "I happen to have some herbal tea, yes. Care to join me in the kitchen?"

Rachnera beamed. "I'd be delighted."

Ciel nodded and moved to make the tea.

What followed was a civil conversation laced with flirtatious comments from Rachnera and stammering blushes from Ciel. At one point, Rachnera teased unzipping her top again, but Ciel managed to (barely) convince her to refrain from exposing herself to him again.

In spite of her flirtatious nature…Rachnera wasn't bad company to have. Perhaps this wouldn't be a bad arrangement for Ciel after all? Or Kiyota, for that matter. Speaking of, Ciel now had to worry about the Miia possibly engaging in sexual activities with his roommate.

* * *

"My darling~!"

"Ack! M-Miia! Too tight!"

Bone cracking was heard.

"W-WAY TOO TIGHT!"

* * *

If she didn't accidentally kill him in that constrictor hold, that is….

One headache after another. And Ciel had no doubt there would be more to come in the future.

Oh joy.

* * *

 **A/N: And that's all she wrote! Now that I finally got this chapter out of the way, I can move on to adding the other girls in. I already wrote down what girls will go with what guy, so that'll be fun to get to.**

 **Next chapter will be…not sure, actually. I'll probably lump together some more bonding along with the addition of a new monster girl. Depends on what I write.**

 **Hope you all enjoyed this. See you in the next update.**

 **LATERS!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello readers, and welcome back to another installment of Of Heirs, Monsters, and the Unhinged!**

 **After three chapters, now we officially get to the canon of the anime! Hooray!**

 **Now, for the record, not everything will be the same as in canon...maybe. I mean, we have TWO male protagonists (an heir and a lunatic), as well as the early arrival of Rachnera. Some events may not happen in the exact same way as in the show.**

 **So, with all that said...on to the chapter!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Monster Musume._

* * *

It had been a couple of days since Miia and Rachnera moved into the apartment, and it would be an understatement to say that their inclusion into Ciel and Kiyota's home had made the boy's lives more…interesting.

Ciel and Rachnera were on…relative good terms with each other, in that the heir was slowly (and reluctantly) attempting to grow accustomed to his homestay's teasing nature. Which was rather difficult given her…attractive upper half, as well as his wariness of any hidden intentions from the Demihuman. So far, however, she still fell into the "teasing woman" category. And for some reason, he felt that that's where she'd remain. Didn't hurt to be cautious, though.

One thing the heir silently wished for was that the Arachne would stop with her flirtatious nature. There was only so much teasing he could take in a single day. And his mind was constantly invaded by traitorous perverse thoughts whenever Rachnera pressed her large bust against him and held him close.

In spite of all this, he…couldn't really say he was _displeased_ when she made her presence known. She was the mature type, meaning he wouldn't get any unwanted nonsense from her. Not including her teasing, that is. And that he could hold a nice conversation with her. Which meant spending more time with her. Which meant getting used to her. Which would hopefully lead to his wariness of Demihumans (or of her, at least) going away.

That's how it is for the heir and the spider. But what of the lunatic and the snake?

* * *

Kiyota snored loudly in his bed, completely unaware of the Lamia cuddling up against him.

Miia whined. "Darling~. Must you be so loud?"

Why was Miia currently cuddled up to Kiyota? If one asked her, she would say that she was cold blooded and needed warmer temperatures, which would be achieved if she snuggled up with her darling Kiyota. In reality, of course, she was madly in love with the lunatic (not that she knew he was one) and would use any excuse to get close to him. Such were the scheming ways of Miia the Lamia.

Kiyota yawned, slowly waking up.

"…That was a good dream."

"Were you dreaming of me, darling?"

"Well- wait, Miia?!"

Kiyota went fully awake now, noticing Miia cuddled up to him, her tail wrapped all around him.

"…Miia, why are you in my bed?"

"I need to be warm, darling. And the best way for that is to snuggle with you."

"…I mean, you could've just told me," Kiyota pointed out as he made to sit up. "I can go draw you a bath and- ack!"

He was dragged back down by Miia, his head held in her ample bust.

"I like my idea better, darling~."

Kiyota couldn't really disagree, given his current position. And in any other situation, he might have gone along with it. Especially given the sudden nipple popping out of Miia's top. Place me in your mouth, the nipple seemed to say. Suck on me, please, it continued.

Sadly, there were two obvious reasons why he couldn't go along with Miia's advances.

The first was obviously that pain-in-the-ass law. Seriously, did the government not realize that romantic relationships eventually lead to sex? Not that this was a romantic relationship, of course. At least, not for Kiyota…maybe. Definitely for Miia, though, if the current situation was any indication.

The second obvious reason….

"M-Miia. C-Can't b-breathe."

"Air is overrated, my darling~."

Well, shit.

 **SNAP. CRACKLE. POP.**

And now his bones were starting to break. And in a way that sounds like something out of a cereal brand, no less.

Kiyota tried to struggle out of her hold, but it was in vain. It was similar to being caught in a constrictor hold, only a hundred times worse.

 _Not that I don't appreciate large breasts, but I'm kinda suffocating here!_

He needed to think of a brilliant way to escape this deathly hold.

…

…

 _Knife?_

 _ **Knife.**_

With a plan in mind, Kiyota attempted to shimmy the knife out of his sleeve into his hand.

 _Shimmy the knife. Shimmy the knife. A-shimmy shimmy shimmy shimmy shimmy the knife._

 _ **Really? You're singing a tune for your knife?**_

 _Yeah. And I just thought of it, too! Your thoughts?_

… _ **5 out of 10.**_

 _Well, screw you too._

Right as the knife was about to be free, Miia tightened the hold on him, trapping his body in place. Meaning his arms were pinned down, along with his knife. No more room to shimmy the knife.

Fuck.

 _Brain! Status report!_

 _ **Aeerraaaghameenary.**_

Double fuck.

Welp, Kiyota needed a new plan. And fast.

 _Maybe I can grab something to get her attention?_

Kiyota frantically waved his only free hand about, reaching for anything that could possibly be nearby.

He found something.

"E-Eep!"

Whatever it was, it was scaly and smooth and made Miia eep. Kiyota stroked it a bit, causing Miia to squirm and moan.

It was the tip of her tail.

"D-Darling, n-not t-there~."

 _Is this a weak point? Brain! Make a mental note of this!_

 _ **M-Malvalen.**_

Ignoring his apparently dying brain, Kiyota continued to stroke the tip of Miia's tail. The Lamia started breathing heavily.

 _Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!_

Miia's tail loosened around Kiyota.

 _Freedom!_

Kiyota immediately pulled himself out of her tail and leaped over her off the bed in a front flip. He landed on his feet, raising his arms in the air like an athlete.

 _Brain! Score me!_

 _ **5, 7, 6.**_

 _Oh fuck you, that was three 10's at least!_

"Screw it. I should go draw that ba- ack, not again!"

Miia's tail had lashed out and wrapped around Kiyota yet again, pulling him back towards the Lamia. She clutched his head to her generous bust yet again, keeping a tight grip.

"D-Darling…."

Wait, something was wrong. Kiyota managed to lift his face up to see Miia's blushed face scrunched up in…pleasure?

"I-I'm coming!"

Coming? What did she mean by-?

…

…

 _Mental note: do_ not _target the tip of the tail._

 _ **Noted.**_

As Miia gave an orgasmic scream, Kiyota found that his body could be bent in ways that he never thought possible.

* * *

Ciel sat up in his bed at the sound of an orgasmic scream…don't ask how he knows what that sounds like. He will never say. And he'll deny even knowing.

"Mother-!"

The short heir immediately leaped out of his bed, stubbing his toe against the drawer.

"-fuck!"

He hopped on one foot towards his bedroom door while clutching his other foot. He yanked it open and stumbled out into the hallway.

"My, my. I don't think humans are supposed to bend that way."

Of course Rachnera happened to be awake. And was apparently peeking into Kiyota's room.

"Did you just watch them have sexual intercourse?"

"Oh, silly little man. You can call it sex. No need to be formal about it."

"Please don't change the subject, Rach."

Rachnera blinked in surprise. "Did you just give me a nickname?"

Ciel paused. "…Huh. I guess I did."

The heir suddenly found himself lifted in the air, smothered in her large bust.

"Aw~, the little man is warming up to me! And only after a few days!"

"MMPH! MMPH!"

"Then again, that Miia girl fell in love with your friend in only a day, so it's not so weird."

Ciel managed to free his face. "RELEASE ME THIS INSTANT!"

"Oh, you know you like this."

Ciel raged.

"Perhaps I'll give you a nickname myself?" she asked, tapping her chin in thought while keeping hold of the raging heir. "Should I call you 'darling' like Miia does with your friend?"

He continued to rage.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. That's her word for her human. I'll just call you 'honey', instead."

Ciel finally stopped raging and just hung there, arms crossed and a blush on his scowling face.

"…Would you _kindly_ just answer the question I asked?"

Rachnera giggled. "Oh very well. No, I didn't. Because they didn't have sex to begin with."

He looked up at her. "They didn't?"

"No. Your friend just grabbed her in a sensitive area below the waist."

"Oh goddamn-!"

"The tip of her tail."

"…Ah."

Rachnera smirked. "Did you think I meant her-?"

"Please don't finish that sentence."

She chuckled.

Ciel rolled his eyes and shook his head, unintentionally nuzzling her large breasts.

"Aw~, see? You _do_ like it."

"That's not what's happening!"

"Denial is expected in these sort of matters."

Ciel grit his teeth in annoyance. "Will you _please_ put me down?"

Rachnera hummed in thought, pulling Ciel back into her chest, smothering him.

Ciel didn't bother with struggling again. He just hung there with a blushing deadpan.

"Hmm…I suppose."

She let the heir down.

"Thank you."

She pat his head with a beaming smile. "No problem, honey."

He scowled. "You're really going to call me that?"

"As long as Miia keeps calling your friend 'darling'."

Fuck, that was gonna last forever, then.

Ciel sighed. "Whatever…back to the point."

"Speaking of, I think I felt yours."

"RACH!"

Rachnera let out a hearty laugh. Ciel grumbled and blushed, crossing his legs.

"…S-So they didn't break the law, then?"

His homestay shook her head. "No. Though your friend is now in an unnatural angle."

"Do you mean that literally? Or are you exaggerating?"

"Yes."

"Which is-?"

"Yes."

"…I'll just see if Kiyota is alright, then."

Ciel gave a polite knock on the door. "Kiyota, are you still alive in there?"

…

…

"F-Five more minutes," came the weak, hoarse reply of the unhinged one.

Ciel frowned and knocked again. "Miia, can I have a word with you?"

An eep from the Lamia was heard.

"Aw~, she's afraid of you."

Ciel ignored Rachnera's statement and stepped back as Miia slithered out of the room, a nervous look on her face.

"Rach, could you give me and Miia a moment?"

"Hm~, I'm not sure. Should I be worried about leaving you with another woman?"

"First, we are not a thing. Second, Miia clearly likes Kiyota. Third, please leave."

Rach giggled. "Oh very well. I'll be in the kitchen."

The Arachne crawled away towards the kitchen, leaving Ciel and a very nervous-looking Miia alone in the hallway.

Before speaking his mind, the heir opened the door to his roommate's room to see the current state of Kiyota's wellbeing.

…

…

"Miia."

"Y-Yes."

"You may be Kiyota's responsibility, but he is still my roommate and bodyguard. I can't have you breaking him every time you want to get close to him."

"H-He's fine, r-really."

"I can literally see his soul leaving his body. And here I thought that was just a cliché in anime."

Ciel rubbed his eyes. "Look…I understand you're in love with him. Or appear to be, given this is the fastest that anyone has ever fallen in love with someone. Seriously, this bullshit only happens in Disney movies for God's sake."

He looked back up at her. "But you need to understand that you are an incredibly strong Demihuman. Hell, your species can literally bend steel with your tails alone…which makes me wonder how you didn't kill Kiyota just now."

Miia flinched a little. "I-I wasn't that bad."

"Again-." Ciel points into the room. "-soul _literally_ leaving body."

The Lamia flinched again.

The heir sighed. "Look…I don't mean to come off as the reprimanding type…actually, I do. But that's not my point."

"His point was out a minute ago~."

"RACH!"

Laughter came from the kitchen.

Ciel groaned and ran a hand down his face. "Leave it to that spider woman to ruin my reprimanding."

Miia attempted to sneak away.

"Where do you think _you're_ going?"

She froze.

"I'm not done with you."

"Eh, lay off her, Ciel."

"D-Darling?"

Ciel blinked and turned. "…Oh, so you can stand now?"

Kiyota leaned in the doorway, shrugging. "Like I said. I just needed a few minutes."

"Your soul was literally leaving your body."

"Yeah, I saw that. Always thought that was just a thing in anime."

"I know, right?"

Miia attempted to slither away again.

"Hold it."

She froze.

Kiyota rolled his eyes. "Ciel, I'm fine. Leave her be."

"You were bent in an unnatural angle."

He shrugged. "Meh."

Ciel deadpanned. "Meh? Is that all you can say?"

"Yup."

"…Screw it. _You_ reprimand her, then. I'm going into the kitchen with Rach."

"Oh, so she's Rach now?"

"Shut up."

Ciel disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Kiyota and Miia alone.

…

…

"So, you still need to warm up?" Kiyota asked. "I can get that bath drawn."

Miia blinked. "Y-You're not gonna reprimand me?"

He shook his head. "Nah. That's Ciel's thing. Besides, I'm not really mad."

"You aren't?"

"Nope. I mean, I'd prefer _not_ to be bent at an unnatural angle-."

Miia flinched for a third time.

"-but that's in the past, now. Recent, sure, but still the past. And again, I'm fine. So no need to dwell on it."

Miia stared in awe.

"So with that said, I'll go ahead and get that bath ready for you."

Kiyota pat her head with a smile before moving towards the bathroom.

…

…

Miia squealed. "Oh~, my darling is so understanding and kind! He truly _is_ my prince!"

A facepalm was heard in the kitchen, which was followed by female chuckling.

* * *

Kiyota turned the bath on, watching as the hot water poured in.

"…Man, this bath is huge."

No joke. Turns out, some more remodeling needed to be done. A last minute decision from Agent Smith, though Ciel believes that it should've been done sooner, but the woman's laziness put it off by mistake. In any case, all the rooms in the apartment (including the boy's; boy, did Ciel rage at that) were now _really_ huge. Hell, you could probably fit several Demihumans in each one. Not that that would ever happen. After all, why would more than the two Demihumans already here suddenly stay here?

Exactly.

So yeah, everything was bigger. Even the toilet. Which was…a surprise to the boys.

* * *

" _Ack! Kiyota, help!"_

 _Kiyota immediately rushed out of his room and into the bathroom._

" _Ciel, why are- pfffft!"_

 _Ciel had apparently not noticed that the toilet was a little bigger now when he tried to use it. So when he tried to sit in it, he ended up falling_ into _the toilet water, his behind now stuck in the hole, legs raised in the air with the pants around his ankles._

" _PfHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

" _THIS IS NOT FUNNY! GET ME OUT OF HERE THIS INSTANT!"_

 _Kiyota immediately took a picture._

" _DELETE THAT!"_

" _No."_

" _KIYOTA!"_

" _Oh, calm down. I'll get you out."_

 _Kiyota moved towards Ciel…then stopped._

" _What are you doing? Get me out of here!"_

 _Kiyota slowly moved his hand towards the handle._

"… _Kiyota, I swear, if you flush this toilet with me still in it, I will murde-!"_

 _He flushed the toilet._

" _MOTHERFU-!"_

 _Ciel raged as he spun around in the toilet, getting wetter and wetter with each spin. Kiyota simply recorded the whole thing on his phone._

* * *

Surprisingly enough, Rachnera had "accidently" broken his phone when she apparently grabbed it too hard trying to see the video. Kiyota highly doubted the accident part, but he couldn't exactly prove otherwise. In any case, he had made a copy of the photo and video and emailed it to himself. Plus, Ciel got him an even better phone!

Win-win!

Though now that he thought about it….

"How the hell would Miia or Rachnera even use the toilet?"

He had posed this question to Ciel later that day, and the heir simply said that they best not think about it too much.

…Eh.

"Darling, is the bath ready?"

Ah, Miia is here.

"Just about. Should warm you up enough to-."

The unhinged young man stopped when he noticed Miia slithering in topless, her long hair the only thing covering her nipples.

Kiyota quickly turned around, covering his nose. "M-Miia?! You could've waited until I left!"

"Sorry, darling. I need the hot water."

Miia slithered into the bath, soaking in the hot water.

"Ah~, this feels so good."

Not wanting to seem like a pervert, Kiyota quickly moved to leave the bathroom.

"R-Right, well, enjoy your- ack!"

Miia had other plans, however, hence her tail lashing out and dragging Kiyota into the bath with her.

"M-Miia, the hell?!"

"I want to bathe with you."

Kiyota froze. "…C-Care to rephrase that?"

"Nope!" she beamed as she hugged him from behind, her large naked breasts pressing against him. "You see, I've heard about how Japanese hot springs have mixed bathing. I want to try that out here with you, Darling~."

Kiyota shivered a little, ironic given the hot water. Why did this girl make it so hard to resist her feminine wiles?

 _ **You could take her here and now.**_

 _No! The law!_

 _ **You could fight the law. And despite that song of the same name, you'd actually win.**_

 _Damn it, Brain! You're supposed to be helping me!_

 _ **I am…fuck her now.**_

Kiyota made a mental note to ignore any advice from his brain concerning Miia and her advances.

"So let's get these clothes off!"

"Wait, wha- Miia, why?!"

The Lamia proceeded to take off Kiyota's shirt.

"Oh my, you're surprisingly well-muscled!"

Well, having to put thugs in their place required that, even though he mostly relied on speed and his knife.

"And now for your pants!"

And _that's_ where he had to draw the line.

Kiyota quickly turned the cold water to the tub on.

"EEP! C-COLD! DARLING, WHY?!"

He quickly got out and gave a deadpan. "There's no mixed bathing in this house. Ciel would throw a fit if that happened."

"I-I thought you liked getting him angry."

"Only when it's funny. Otherwise, it would be annoying. Enjoy your bath!"

He quickly moved out of the bathroom.

"You're no fun, Darling!" Miia whined.

He shut the door.

…

…

 _ **Seriously. Just fuck her already!**_

Kiyota then proceeded to bash his head against the sink repeatedly, both in frustration at not being able to release his sexual tension, and to punish his brain.

 _ **You realize this is hurting you and not me, right?**_

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

Ciel and Rachnera looked up when Kiyota entered the kitchen.

"Kiyota," Ciel began. "Why is your head bleeding?"

"No reason."

Ciel raised an eyebrow, but shrugged and went back to his tea.

Rachnera blinked. "Is he truly not bothered by the bleeding?"

"Nope."

"And you're not inquiring any further?"

"It's normal…don't ask why."

Now Rachnera raised an eyebrow, but shrugged and went back to her own tea.

As Kiyota started making breakfast, the trio listened to the TV as it featured a news special on the hot new Demihuman idol group, ANM48, and how their success was attributed to the new law that had been passed years prior. As well as how since then, Deminumans have had no trouble acclimating to the human cities. Truly no incidents between a single Demihuman and human.

Ciel snorted. "This morning didn't seem to go well for Kiyota."

"Again, I'm _fine_ ," Kiyota said from the kitchen. "Be like Elsa and let it go~."

"If you break into song, I will break a chair over your head."

"Can you even reach that high?"

Ciel's eye twitched.

Rachnera chuckled and cupped her cheek. "Still, we truly haven't had much trouble adjusting. That idol group, especially."

"That group is overrated," Ciel scoffed, sipping his tea. "Their music is comparable to other popular idol groups around the world, and the only reason they're so beloved by fans is because they have the cuteness factor going for them."

"My, my," came a different female voice. "Such cruel words from one so adorable."

Ciel jumped in place, spilling some tea. He looked up to find Agent Smith sitting across from him.

"My, you seem so surprised," she chuckled, adjusting her shades. "Have you forgotten me already? I'm your-."

"Never mind that!" Ciel exclaimed. "How in blazes did you get in here?!"

"Your front door was open."

Ciel didn't believe that for a second. He and Kiyota always made sure the door was locked day in and day out.

"She used a lockpick," Kiyota commented, idly patting some rice with a little paddle.

Smith tilted her head. "Oh? How do you know that?"

"Next time, put the lockpick _all_ the way in your pocket."

She blinked and looked at her pocket. "…You can barely see it."

"I'm very perceptive."

She sheepishly hid the pick.

Ciel scowled. "Seriously? Breaking and entering?"

"Working in the government has its privileges."

"Of course it does. Any particular reason you're here?"

"I want breakfast."

"Son of a-."

"Already making some," Kiyota called out, patting an unnecessarily tall amount of rice.

"Also-." A dark aura surrounded Smith. "I'm here to make sure you two aren't engaging in prohibited activities."

Ciel and Kiyota sweatdropped at the agent's attempt to be intimidating.

"As I'm sure you're both aware, anyone who harms the girls who are here for the purpose of cultural exchange will be punished severely. According to the Inter-Species Exchange Bill."

"Eh, you don't have to worry about that," Kiyota assured, still patting that rice. "I ain't one to hurt pretty girls. And I doubt Ciel could hurt anyone, even if he tried."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ciel asked, annoyed.

"You're little."

Tick marks appeared on Ciel.

"Yes, well," Smith smirked sinisterly. "Hurting them also means popping their cherries."

This drew several hilarious reactions from the boys. Ciel did a spit-take, spewing out the tea he was just sipping. Kiyota jumped in place in an overreaction, spilling all the rice he was just patting.

"Aw man," he complained. "All that gone to waste."

Ciel beat his chest as he coughed more.

"A-Agent Smith! W-We would never-!"

"You both have genitals. You could if you two wanted to."

"Could doesn't mean that we will, Agent Smith," Ciel frowned. "And quite frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about you assuming that we would."

"It's not about assuming," Smith smiled. "It's the simple matter of hormones. You two are young men, after all. It's natural you'd think about getting intimate with the opposite sex. Unless you swing for the other team, of course."

"We don't."

"What a relief."

Kiyota snickered at that. Ciel deadpanned at his unhinged roommate.

Rachnera smirked. "You have nothing to worry about, Smith. Honey and I haven't had sex."

Ciel nodded. "Exactl-."

"Yet."

"RACH!"

Rachnera and Kiyota laughed, while Ciel scowled with a blush.

Smith frowned. "So you two have nicknames for each other, then? An interesting development to note."

"There is no development. Nothing is going on."

Kiyota snorted. "Keep telling yourself that."

He ignored the glare from the short heir.

Smith hummed. "I suppose I can take your word for it. You seem so serious about it. However-."

She stood up from the table and moved towards Kiyota.

"You are the main concern."

"I resent that," Kiyota said with mock offense. "I am a very responsible person."

"I wasn't talking about that." She leaned against the refrigerator. "Miia's species are very passionate. And often seek to mate with human males. Has she ever approached you?"

Kiyota's mind went back to this morning in his room and the bathroom.

"In fact," Smith thought aloud. "If you were to take the purity of a species representative, it would become a diplomatic issue. If you ever crossed that line, you would be arrested according to the law, and Miia would be deported back to her homeland."

That scenario played out in Kiyota's head….

It ended with him slitting the throats of those trying to arrest him and take Miia away.

 _Sad thing is…that's not an exaggeration._

"It's sad, yes, but it's the law."

She crossed her arms. "So have you two had sex?"

"No! I mean, er…no. We didn't have sex. If we did, Ciel would be raging more than usual."

"I really would," Ciel added, pouring himself a new cup of tea.

"I see…but you've thought about it, yes?"

Kiyota remained silent at that.

"She may have the lower body of a snake, but she's got good style, big breasts, and she's a beauty."

Kiyota couldn't argue with any of that.

"And above all, she's madly in love with you."

That, either.

"Also-." Smith grabbed his chin, inspecting his face. "You don't seem like you'd put up much of a fight."

At that statement, Kiyota's eyes constricted, and a manic grin spread across his face.

" _You'd be surprised at how much of a fight I could give._ "

Smith blinked in shock at the sudden mood change. Rachnera seemed surprised as well. Ciel, however, simply cursed under his breath. He needed to change the subject quick.

"Hey!"

Or he could let a still-wet Miia do it.

Her tail latched out and grabbed Kiyota by his neck, pulling him next to her.

"You'll pay if you hurt my darling!"

Ciel deadpanned. Wasn't Miia currently choking the life out of Kiyota?

"Are you listening to me?!"

Smith stared at Kiyota for a bit…then shrugged with a smile.

"Sorry, I was simply inquiring about something. I was about to leave, anyway."

Before she left, she addressed the two boys.

"Kiyota…Honey-."

A tick mark appeared on Ciel and Rachnera, but for different reasons.

"Be sure to refrain from any prohibited activities."

The boys frowned a bit, but nodded.

"Ciao!"

Smith left the apartment.

…

…

Ciel sighed, "That woman is certainly a headache."

"Indeed," Rachnera agreed, albeit for a different reason.

Miia held Kiyota against her chest, a thoughtful look on her face.

"Hey Miia," Kiyota said. "You should really dry yourself off. Don't want you getting cold again."

"Are prohibited activities really a big deal?"

Kiyota raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"Since Lamias have the lower body of a snake, people hate us at first glance…but you didn't. You accepted me with such kindness. Even though you knew why I was really sent here. And…you weren't scared of me. It made me so happy."

Kiyota shrugged. "You don't really seem scary to me."

Miia suddenly dragged him to the ground with her tail, pinning him down.

"Ack! Miia?!"

"I don't care about what's prohibited. Because I don't care about what you do to me."

Ciel immediately knew where this was going.

"Now see here- ACK!"

Rachnera grabbed Ciel and held him close to her large bosom, her hand covering his mouth as she backed away quietly.

"Ssh, Honey. I want to see where this is going,"

Ignoring the other two, Miia began to undo Kiyota's pants.

"M-Miia, what the-?!"

He stopped when he noticed she had lifted her shirt and the area where her…nether regions were.

"I wouldn't mind if…you gave me my first permanent scar."

Ciel struggled hard in an attempt to stop this, but Rachnera kept her hold firm.

Miia leaned down towards Kiyota. "After all…I love you."

She moved to kiss him…but Kiyota pulled his head back.

"Sorry, Miia. I can't do that."

Ciel gave a muffled sigh of relief, while Rachnera pouted at the loss of amusement.

"W-Why?" she asked. "Is the law really that important?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not what I meant."

His face suddenly turned blue.

"I-I'm about to be broken."

Miia and Ciel panicked.

 **CRACK!**

Kiyota gave a blank stare towards the ceiling.

…

…

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"DARLIIIIIIIIIIINNG!"

* * *

"I-I'M SORRY, DARLING~!"

"You should be!"

"Honey, leave the poor girl be. She feels guilty enough as it is."

Ciel scowled and crossed his arms with a huff. He scowled even more when Rachnera pat his head.

Having heard the screaming, Smith had returned to see what had happened. Not wanting to reveal the accident, Ciel quickly told her that Kiyota had simply tripped in the bathroom.

"Ow, ow, ow!"

"Relax! You simply dislocated your shoulder."

She couldn't help but ponder on how rough Kiyota had it.

"J-Just stop! Stop!"

Smith froze a bit, which allowed Kiyota to slip out, clutching his hurt shoulder.

"I-I got this."

Kiyota calmly moved towards the door of the apartment, whistling a tune….

 **BANG! BANG! BANG-POP!**

Which was followed by him smashing his shoulder against the door three times and the sound of a bone snapping back into place.

"Ack, f-fuck!"

He hissed in pain.

"D-Darling!"

Miia made to move towards the man she loved, but Kiyota raised a finger, stopping her. He slowly moved his injured arm….

It was still hurting, but it was set in place.

Kiyota let out a breath, then smiled at the group.

"S-See? Totally fine."

Miia quickly slithered towards Kiyota, wrapping him in a hug.

"I-I'm so sorry, Darling!"

Kiyota chuckled. "For what? I tripped and fell. You weren't even in the bathroom. Right, Ciel?"

Ciel was silent for a moment.

…

…

"Right. That's what happened. Nothing to worry about, Smith."

Smith smiled. "Well, if that's what happened, then I'll take your word for it."

She winked at the boys, indicating she knew how Kiyota really dislocated his shoulder, but would keep quiet.

"Well, since everything seems to be in order, there's one thing I forgot to mention. And since Kiyota is fine, he and Honey can take care of it today."

Ciel raised an eyebrow. "And that would be?"

"Taking your homestays out into the city, of course."

…

…

"What?" Ciel and Kiyota said.

Miia squealed. "EEEEE! A DATE!"

Rachnera chuckled. "A date, hm~? I wouldn't be opposed to it."

"Not a date," Smith corrected. "A field trip, of sorts. An outing, really."

Miia ignored Smith. "I NEED TO FRESHEN UP FOR MY DATE WITH DARLING!"

She slithered into her room rather quickly.

"I should freshen up, as well," Rachnera said, cupping Ciel's chin and getting in his face. "I'll see you in a bit, Honey~."

Ciel's face went red, earning a dark look from Smith.

Kiyota sweatdropped. So much for getting some much needed rest for his recently reset shoulder.

* * *

 **A/N: And that's all for this chapter...**

 **Yes, I know. I only covered half of the first episode? The fuck?! Well, to be honest, I don't want chapters to be TOO long, you know? So some chapters may cover only half an episode, depending on what I write. I'm hoping it won't be like that when it comes to the addition of two certain monster girls coming up, but we'll see what happens.**

 **So, next chapter will be a double da- I mean, a "field trip", as Smith puts it. Looking forward to writing that. It'll certainly be a challenge when I write what Ciel and Rach do. As for Kiyota and Miia...well, I obviously have the episode to put into words, not that it'll all be the same. Might have Kiyota unleash his unhinged nature like he did in this chapter.**

 **And that's about it. if you liked this, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it. I like hearing from you guys.**

 **See you in the next update!**

 **LATERS!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello readers, and welcome back to another installment of Of Heirs, Monsters, and the Unhinged!**

 **Sorry this took so long. But hey…holidays. And I wanted to relax. Speaking of, hope you all had a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year!**

 **Also, this story has reached over 100 followers! YAAS! :D**

 **Why couldn't it be the same for favs? ._.**

 **Just kidding. I'm happy all the same.**

 **Now then, last we left off, our two male protagonists were about to take their monster girls on a da- field trip into the city…yeah.**

 **Also, yes…this is longer than any other chapter. Couldn't help it. Don't worry. You'll enjoy reading it.**

 **With that being said, on to the chapter!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Monster Musume._

* * *

"We're going on a date! We're going on a date! Today's the day! Hip-hip, hurray! We're going on a date! Yay!"

"Must your homestay be so cheery?"

"Must _you_ be so grouchy?"

Ciel huffed with a scowl.

The general onlookers stared in curiosity at the odd group consisting of Ciel, Racnhera, Kiyota, and Miia. The two monster girls had opted to dress for a day out. Miia wore a red shirt with a short white design jacket and blue jean skirt, along with a red stylized hat on her head. Rachnera wore a white long-sleeved button-up shirt with a black silk skirt, the former having a few buttons left open to allow a good amount of cleavage to display.

"See?" Kiyota pointed at Ciel's face. "You're always scowling. In fact, I don't think I've seen you smile _once_ since I've lived with you."

Ciel rolled his eye. "I'll smile when I have reason to."

"Is going out on a date with me not reason enough~?" Rachnera smirked.

"This is _not_ a date. No matter what Miia says. Kiyota and I are merely showing you two around the city. Nothing more."

She giggled and rubbed his head. "Don't worry, Honey. I'll break you eventually."

"I would very much appreciate it if you rephrased that."

"I'm sure you would."

 _Tch. Crazy spider woman._

As the four moved through the city, the two humans thought back to their "briefing" with Agent Smith.

* * *

 _(Flashback begins)_

" _Before you two go on your double da-."_

 _Smith cleared her throat. "I mean, your little field trip."_

" _I feel like you deliberately said that," Ciel accused._

" _Nah," Kiyota chuckled. "That would require her to give up on you."_

 _Ciel glared at him_

 _The agent cleared her throat again. "Ahem…as I was saying, you two will need to be responsible hosts to the girls. Don't ever leave them alone, and always stay with and support them. Be sure to show them around town."_

" _Isn't that supposed to be the coordinator's job?" Kiyota pointed out._

" _I have many other things to do," Smith answered simply without elaborating._

 _Ciel rolled his eye. "Of course you do."_

" _However-."_

 _Smith was suddenly in front of them, a "smile" on her face._

" _Don't take them to any love hotels."_

 _(Flashback ends)_

* * *

The two sweatdropped at the memory. They knew she was trying to be intimidating, but they just didn't see it.

Kiyota hummed. "So…where should we go first?"

"Well~," Rachnera purred. "I was hoping Honey could show me one of those love hotels I've heard about."

Ciel facefaulted.

"Pfft-!" Kiyota covered his mouth to hide his laughter.

Miia was confused. "A love hotel?"

"IT'S NOTHING!" Ciel shouted as he got back up. "And _not_ something that will be further discussed! Where did you even hear that?"

"From Smith," Rachnera answered with no shame.

"…You were eavesdropping," Ciel stated flatly.

"Yes."

Ciel facepalmed.

"I still don't know what a love hotel is," Miia put in.

"And hopefully," Ciel sighed. "You never will… _right_ , Kiyota?"

"Why, Ciel!" Kiyota exclaimed dramatically. "I am offended you would insinuate such a thing!"

Ciel deadpanned, and Rachnera giggled.

"Why won't anyone tell me what a love hotel is?!" Miia whined.

"WILL YOU STOP ASKING?!" Ciel shouted.

"Yeesh. Calm down, shorty."

Ciel raged at Kiyota.

"Perhaps we should continue on our double date?" Rachnera suggested.

"THIS IS NOT A DATE!"

Kiyota rolled his eyes. "Not with that attitude."

"ALL OF YOU ARE INCORRIGABLE!"

"Nah. You're just a stick in the mud."

"AARGH!"

"Rachnera's right!"

"Wait, wha- ACK!"

Miia's tail suddenly wrapped around Kiyota's head and neck, and she sped off with the screaming lunatic.

"LET THE DATE BEGIN!"

"THIS IS NOT A DATE!" Ciel shouted in vain. "AND YOU'RE STRANGLING HIM! AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO STAY TOGETHER!"

Kiyota and Miia were already gone.

Ciel pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Damn her passion."

A pair of arms wrapped around Ciel and lifted him up, holding him against Rachnera's bosom.

"On the bright side, Honey, now _we_ can be alone on our date."

"This is not- never mind," he sighed in defeat. "Also, _no_. We can't leave them alone. And put me down!"

"Why not? Also, no."

Ciel made to rage, but stopped…it wasn't worth it.

"I would prefer Kiyota and Miia not break the law."

"I'm sure they have enough self-control to not do it on the first date."

"Miia literally tried to have sex with Kiyota in front of us not even an hour ago."

"…Fair point. But they're long gone now."

Ciel pulled out a small device. "Kiyota has a tracker on him. I can find him easily."

Rachnera blinked. "You put a tracker on your bodyguard?"

"Yes, the irony is not lost on me. But he has one for me as well."

"But why do _you_ need to track _him_?"

"Don't worry. He knows about it."

"That isn't what I asked."

"Look, as much as I love playing 20 questions (I don't, by the way), I'd prefer that we catch up to Kiyota and Miia before they cause an international incident."

"Hmm…."

Ciel groaned. "Okay, fine. What do you want?"

"I'm _very_ curious about that love hotel."

"Son of a-!"

* * *

After the short rage, Ciel and Rachnera managed to catch up to Kiyota and Miia, finding the two at a restaurant.

"Oh, there you guys are!" Kiyota waved. "Thought we lost you two."

Ciel glared at Miia. "Yes. I wonder why that was."

Miia gave a sheepish laugh.

Ciel was going to reprimand her, but Kiyota just shot it down. Instead, the heir and spider joined the red-haired pair at the booth. Which was a little difficult for Rachnera given her lower spider body. So they had to move a table over, with a chair for Ciel. They ordered their food and dug in.

"Oh, this food is so good!" Miia cheered.

Ciel grunted. "It's adequate."

That put a damper on Miia's cheery mood.

She wined. "Why are you so mean~?"

"I'm not mean. I'm simply critical."

"Do you have to be so critical, then?"

"Yes."

That only made Miia whine more and Kiyota snort.

Rachnera smirked. "You certainly don't sugarcoat what you say. Do you, Honey?"

"Nope."

Miia pouted at Kiyota. "Is he always like this?"

"Oh yeah," Kiyota scoffed. "Been with him for a while now. He's a piece of work."

"I'm sitting across from you."

"I know."

A spoon bounced off Kiyota's head.

"Really?"

Ciel nonchalantly ate his food, a ghost of a smirk on his face.

Miia tilted her head. "How are you two friends?"

"He prefers the term acquaintance."

"I prefer the term acquaintance."

The two monster girls blinked as the two "acquaintances" continued eating their food. They shrugged at each other and ate as well.

* * *

After finishing their food, the quartet went out in search of their next activity. And what was it that would occupy their time for a good while?

A claw machine.

…

…

No, really.

"This doesn't seem necessary."

"Miia thinks otherwise."

"It's just a claw machine. The toys in their aren't even worth noting."

"It's for kids, Ciel. It doesn't need to be criticized."

"I'm criticizing it all the same. Also, she has enough toys. Tell her it's time to move on."

"Just let her get this last one. She looks like she really wants it."

Ciel glanced at the toy she was trying to get. A cute little green snake.

"…Hmm, I wonder why?"

"Can you lose the sarcasm?"

"Will you stop calling me short?"

"No."

"Then no."

The claw in the machine lost its grip on the little green snake doll, the toy falling back with the others.

Miia whined. "Noooooooo!"

Ciel rolled his eye. "For god's sake, you have plenty already."

"B-But this is a cute little green snake!"

Kiyota smirked. "See?"

"That doesn't warrant wasting any more time and money on an unimportant endeavor."

Miia pouted. "You're mean."

"Not mean. Critical."

Kiyota was in front of the claw machine and inserted a bill.

"I'll win it for you, Miia."

"Yay!" Miia cheered.

Ciel pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh my god."

Kiyota casually moved the claw above the little green snake and pushed the button. The claw lowered and latched onto the toy and lifted it into the air. The rest was automatic as the claw moved the toy above the exit and released it.

He took the toy and held it out to Miia with a smile. "Here you go."

Miia squealed and latched onto Kiyota.

Ciel gave a flat stare. "Wonderful. Can we go now?"

"Nope!" Kiyota grinned. "It's your turn, now."

The stare became flatter. "What in the world makes you think I'd want to try something so childish?"

"You could win something for Rachnera!"

"I highly doubt she'd want something from a cla-."

"Actually~," Rachnera smirked. "You winning me something would be a nice touch on our date."

"This is no-…why do I even bother?"

"I wonder that myself," Rachnera chuckled.

"Same," Kiyota added.

The two were given deadpan stares from Ciel before he sighed and relented, moving towards the crane machine.

"Need a box to stand on, shorty?"

"I'm not _that_ short. Also, shut up."

Ciel put a bill into the machine and started moving the claw around.

 _Alright. What would Rach like?_

He noticed a green three-eyed alien with an antennae on its head.

 _I doubt she's seen that movie._

Another stuffed toy resembled a familiar pink piggy bank.

 _Again, I doubt she's seen that._

Another toy resembled a cowboy sherri-.

"Why are there so many Toy Story dolls here?!"

"Oh, you noticed them, too? Weird, huh?"

Ignoring Kiyota, Ciel glanced at the other toys hidden within. His eye landed on one toy in particular that brought an annoyed/embarrassed look on his face.

 _Oh god, no. I thought I had all those units destroyed?!_

Evidently not, as a single stuffed doll that Ciel recognized lay near the other side of the machine.

His first thought was to buy this machine, hire a demolitions crew and have them blow this machine to kingdom come. Thankfully, common sense prevailed. He'll just win the doll and burn it. Simple as-.

…

…

 _Oh, goddamn it._

He chose to nix that plan and instead…go with one that would come back to bite him many times in the future.

With a sigh of defeat, he moved the claw above the doll and pushed to button to lower it down. The claw grabbed the doll and lifted it up, moving towards the exit hatch and releasing it. Ciel took the doll out and glared at it, hoping to somehow incinerate it with his gaze alone.

Sadly, such was beyond human limits.

He grumbled before moving towards Rachnera and holding the stuffed doll out to here.

"Here."

Rachnera took it and stared.

"…Ciel, why does this stuffed doll look like you?"

Kiyota, having gotten a soda from…somewhere, did a spit-take.

"Wait, what?"

Ciel groaned. "Here it comes."

Kiyota moved and took a closer look at the doll….

"Ciel, why?"

The short heir groaned. "Well…my father is a great businessman. He really is. But even he is prone to…bad decision making. And he thought that making money off my likeness several years ago was a good idea."

He explained how many older women couldn't help but coo at how adorable he was, despite being a young teenager back then. They always pinched his cheeks, a few even courting him sometimes. It didn't help that his father tried to take advantage of the courtships that came about. Ciel barely managed to convince the man to ignore the courting. Though the courting _had_ given the man an idea.

Monetizing his own son.

…Father of the year, folks.

So, the Michealis patriarch hired an artist to capture Ciel's likeness into drawing format, then reformat that drawing into a new drawing, which was later used for the design of the new doll that would amaze all.

"Pfff, Chibi Ciel?!"

That was the name on the tag.

Ciel sighed. "Yeah."

Kiyota rolled on the floor in laughter.

Miia and Rachnera stared at the tiny Ciel that seemed to be giving them a flat look.

"…It has his mean look."

"Indeed."

Ciel facepalmed.

Rachnera giggled. "Thank you, Honey. Now it's as though you're with me all the time."

Ciel ignored the light blush dusting his cheeks.

Miia suddenly pressed her face against the claw machine glass. "Is there a chibi Darling?!"

"No."

"Awwwww."

Ciel rolled his eye and glanced back at the doll, which was nuzzled against Rachnera's cheek. He really thought that he had had all units of the doll destroyed years ago. But nope. One remained.

Given how happy his homestay looked…he supposed it wasn't a bad thing.

Kiyota finally stopped laughing and got back up.

"Ha…I'm never letting you live this down."

 _Now_ it was a bad thing.

"I know."

* * *

The quartet had spent a little more time in the mall before moving on with their "double date".

Kiyota and Miia had taken pictures in a photo booth, which ended with the former once again nearly being squeezed to death by the latter. They chose to keep the pictures hidden so as not to get another rage from Ciel.

As for said heir and Rachnera, the latter suggested they make a quick pit stop at a little toy shop. She kept the reason why a surprise up until they were inside. She searched around and found the exact item she was hoping to find: a little eyepatch. She put it over the doll's right eye and showed it to Ciel with a beaming smile.

"Now it truly is you," she had said, which earned a snort and light blush from the short heir.

With both "couples" meeting back together, they now moved through the city while engaging in conversation.

"This city is so much fun!" Miia cheered. "I thought it would be all formal, but it's more fun than I first thought!"

"Indeed," Rachnera concurred.

Kiyota shrugged. "We're not as uptight as people think."

"Not unless you're a politician or businessman," Ciel added.

"True."

Miia sighed. "I am a little disappointed everything was so small and designed for humans. I really wanted to try karaoke."

Oh right. That was another thing they tried to do. Unfortunately, the booths had been too small and ended with Kiyota once again nearly being strangled to death Miia. They couldn't avoid the rage from the short heir that time.

Ciel grunted. "Not everything's been adapted for use by all species yet, so it can't be helped."

As if to prove his point, the four stumbled across the only place they've seen so far (the restaurant didn't count because it had already been spacious enough) that was adapted for all species.

"Darling, look! A store for all species! Let's see what's inside!"

Miia immediately dragged Kiyota over to the store.

"Ack! You don't need to drag me."

The glass doors slid open to reveal what was inside.

"…It's a lingerie shop."

Ciel froze at that. His visible eye glanced towards Rachnera, who's eyes twinkled at Kiyota's statement.

"Is it now~?"

 _Misdirection! MISDIRECTION!_

"Well, we don't have time for that! We should move on to something-!"

Miia already slithered inside.

"Goddamn it, Miia."

Kiyota stepped back. "I-I suppose I should let her have her priva- ACK!"

Miia's tail yet again wrapped around Kiyota's neck and dragged him inside.

"We need to stay together, Darling! Smith said so!"

Even now, the agent woman gives Ciel a headache.

"Goddamn it, Smith."

Rachnera hummed near Ciel's ear. "Shall we go inside as well~? There might be something I might find to my liking…and _yours_."

Ciel shivered. "T-That isn't necessary. I-I'm sure that-."

Rachnera crawled inside.

"-you'll just ignore whatever reason I was about to make up to avoid this."

…

…

"Goddamn it, Rach."

Ciel sighed and followed his homestay.

* * *

It was with certainty that the two guys of the quartet felt extremely uncomfortable being surrounded by so much female undergarments.

Kiyota scratched his cheek and tried not to look at the surrounding undergarments…which was basically impossible.

As for Ciel…he was stiff as a board. Arms crossed. Eye closed. Mouth set in an angry scowl. An angry blush on his face.

Their "dates" simply observed the products on display to see which ones suited them.

"Do you have anything for Lamias?"

"Or for Arachne?"

"Why yes! Try these two aisles over here!"

Kiyota glanced down at Ciel. "You holding up alright?"

"So long as you give me no reason to open my eye, then yes."

Kiyota scoffed and glanced at a model that had a bra and a pair of panties on it.

"…Huh?"

"What?"

"Just realized…does Miia even _wear_ panties?"

Her bottom half was a giant tail. Sure, she wore a skirt, but that was easy enough to imagine. Actual panties, on the other hand….

"Never have I heard a question that was legitimate and so invasive at the same time."

"Oh come on, I bet you're wondering the same about Rachnera."

"No I'm not."

…

…

"Well, _now_ I am. Thanks, you lunatic."

"I aim to corrupt."

"It's 'please'."

"I know what I said."

Ciel rolled his eye in annoyance, but now pondered in thought. From what he's observed of his homestay, there didn't seem to be a way for her to put on something meant for the lower body. He did notice once that she had a skirt tucked away somewhere, but panties were-.

 _I should_ not _be thinking so hard about this. Goddamn it, Kiyota._

"Darling!"

Miia latched Kiyota again and dragged him to her.

"I found some bras that look nice! I'm not sure which one to pick though. I don't really wear bras."

She proved her point by pulling down her shirt, showing her naked breast. Kiyota had a nosebleed as a result.

"I-I don't know anything about bras!" he frantically said. "T-Try them on in the dressing room, I guess."

"Huh? Oh, good idea!"

She slithered over and into the dressing room…dragging Kiyota with her.

"H-Hey! Why am I going in?!"

"We're supposed to stay together, Darling."

"Dressing rooms are private!"

"It's okay, Darling." She pulled off her clothes. "I want you to see. I'll wear whatever you like."

Kiyota found her large breasts much too enticing for his libido. Her taking off her skirt wasn't helping much.

Another nosebleed was had.

"I-It doesn't matter! Just take them all or something!"

He scrambled out of the dressing room.

"Darling!"

Kiyota panted a bit. "Jeez…why does she have to be so hot?"

Ciel walked up to him with a shake of his head.

"Shame on you, Kiyota. Entering a girl's dressing room when she's changing. Such indecency."

Kiyota deadpanned. "You know damn well that was her and not me."

"In that case, shame on you for not being more assertive."

"Okay, just for that, I'm not helping you if Rachnera drags you in with her to change."

While Ciel sputtered, Kiyota noticed the feeling of an item in his hand. He checked to see what it was.

"…The hell is this?"

Ciel glanced at it. "A nubra, perhaps?"

"Kinda looks like a triangle."

"D-Darling?"

Both blinked and turned towards a shy Miia.

"I-I'm sorry that I dragged you into the dressing room, s-so please give me back my panties!"

Both blinked and looked back at the now-revealed panties.

Miia quickly snatched them. "Y-You're both perverts!"

"I didn't even mean to look at them!" Ciel shouted indignantly.

Kiyota didn't really say anything, simply picturing Mia putting those panties on.

…

…

"So she _does_ wear panties."

"Dummy!"

Kiyota was sent flying through the glass doors.

Ciel couldn't decide whether to scold Miia for hurting Kiyota again, or laughing at his bodyguard's expense….

He opted to shake his head, instead.

"Oh Honey~, what's that I heard about you seeing Miia's panties?"

 _Oh joy._

"It was an accident," Ciel stated. "Nothing more."

"Hmm~, that simply will not do."

Ciel suddenly found himself lifted into the air.

"H-Hey!" Ciel exclaimed, flailing in the air. "Put me down, this instant!"

He was carried into another dressing room.

He paled. "R-Rach, t-this is an invasion of your privacy!"

"I don't mind you looking."

"Argh, you're worse than Miia!"

"I must be doing something right, then."

Ciel was finally set down. He turned to tell Rachnera off-.

"Grk!"

Only to go comically white at seeing Rachnera topless.

"Oh come now, Honey~," she purred. "You've already seen them once."

She moved her hands down to her lower body, pulling on her skirt.

And so Ciel's flight response kicked in.

"D-DECENCY MUST BE HAD!"

Ciel freaked and scrambled out of the dressing room, his heart hammering against his chest.

"D-Damn woman…."

His eye widened and he quickly checked his hands.

Nothing.

"Oh thank goodness."

A black piece of clothing fell into his open palms.

"Oh Honey? I seem to have dropped my panties out there. Could you be a dear and hand them back?"

Ciel stared at the private piece of clothing in his hands….

He robotically moved his arms and held the panties out to Rachnera without looking.

She giggled and took them. "Thanks, Honey."

She retreated back into the dressing room.

Ciel simply stood in place, a glazed look in his eye as his soul leaked out of his open mouth.

* * *

"Seriously, Darling. How could you take my panties? Only perverts do that."

"I didn't even mean to! Tell her, Ciel!"

The short heir remained silent, staring straight ahead so as to avoid talking to Rachnera. Thankfully, she wasn't offended by this. Merely amused.

Miia giggled. "If you're really curious, Darling, I can show yo-."

"NO ONE IS SHOWING ANYONE ANYTHING!"

Kiyota, Miia and Rachnera winced at the sudden loud shout.

Ciel blinked, then cleared his throat. "Ahem…I apologize. That was very rude of me."

Miia simply rubbed her ears and whined.

"It's okay, Honey," Rachnera chuckled.

"Meh," Kiyota shrugged, picking at his ear. "Not your loudest work."

Before Ciel could snap at his taller roommate for that comment, some obnoxious laughter caught the groups attention.

"Whoa, what the hell are those things?"

The two "couples" turned to find another couple some feet across from them. One was a man with pale skin, blond hair and a stubble of hair on his lower jaw. The other was a woman with dark skin and a lighter shade of blond hair that was tied in a bun.

"Did those things call those two 'Darling' and 'Honey'?!" the man laughed.

"That's so gross!" the woman added.

That certainly earned the ire of the two Demihumans. Mia shook in anger, her tail rattling and poised to strike. Rachnera grit her sharp teeth together, her clawed hands twitching as she considered how to punish the two offenders.

A hand suddenly grabbed Rachnera's.

"Don't," Ciel said.

She blinked in surprise, the action causing her to halt whatever she hoped to do. Shame that didn't happen fast enough with Miia, the Lamia's tail lashing out towards the racist couple.

 **SMACK!**

The tail hit an unintended target instead.

Kiyota rolled across the ground, a bruise on his cheek.

"D-Darling?!"

Ciel grit his teeth. "Idiot girl!"

"L-Lay off her, man. I'm fine."

Miia stuttered. "W-Why did you do that?"

Kiyota stood up and rubbed his cheek. "Cause of the stupid law."

Miia blinked. "H-Huh?"

"That 'stupid law'," Ciel stated. "Forbids harm towards Demihumans by humans. But the reverse is also forbidden. Had Kiyota not gotten in the way, you would've found yourself deported swiftly."

He gave a stern glare up at Rachnera. "You as well, Rach."

Before the two Demihumans could respond, the sound of photos being taken echoed around them. The quartet looked around to find that they had drawn a crowd.

"Whoa, look at those two."

"I didn't know there were Demihumans like _that_."

"I have to tweet about this!"

"Are those two guys their boyfriends?"

"Isn't that a child?"

That last one earned a scowl from the heir.

"That spider looks kinda scary."

That other last one made Ciel's scowl grow, his grip on Rachnera's hand tightening. She noticed that and his scowl, earning a small smile from her when she realized why he was like that.

"Hey!" Kiyota shouted. "Don't you all have anything better to do?"

"No," everyone surprisingly shouted at the same time, continuing to take pictures.

"…I did not expect that."

"Neither did I," Ciel concurred.

Miia suddenly looked shy, clearly unnerved by all the sudden attention. "D-Darling? C-Can we go somewhere private?"

"For once, we are in agreement," Ciel frowned. "I don't like drawing crowds."

"I'm open to suggestions," Kiyota said, shielding Miia a little.

Ciel hummed in thought.

…

…

"Rach. I believe you were curious about a certain place?"

Rachnera blinked…then grinned.

"Yes. I believe I was."

* * *

The quartet now stood in front of a shady looking building called "Hotel Loveless".

Ciel and Kiyota had stiff looks on their faces, while Miia and Rachnera had confused and beaming looks respectively.

"Where'd they go?"

"I think they went this way!"

Those shouts weren't good.

Ciel sighed. "Let's just go in."

Kiyota bit his lip. "R-Right."

The two human males dragged the two Demihuman females into the love hotel.

* * *

The room Ciel and Rachnera found themselves in was like any other room in the hotel. A lone bed, light brown walls, some complimentary items, and lit candles that were meant to set the mood.

Rachnera looked around with a hum. "This is certainly a nice room."

"I suppose," Ciel said, a little stiff.

The Arachne giggled. "Are you truly that nervous to be with me?"

"With you? No. With you in this kind of place? Yes."

"Then why come here?"

"We are simply hiding from the crowd that formed out there. Nothing more."

"Hmm…oh, Honey?"

"What?"

"You're still holding my hand."

Ciel blinked and looked at their intertwined hands….

He quickly let go. "I-I apologize."

Rachnera giggled. "It's okay. It was a sweet gesture."

"Not really. I simply stopped you from acting on your anger against those two idiots. They're not worth getting deported."

"It was sweet, nonetheless. As was you being angry over me."

Ciel inwardly cursed. She had caught that?

"Which I find contradicting. You yourself are wary of me, yet you're angered when someone else is."

He frowned. "…It was rude."

"Or perhaps that wariness of yours is gone."

"It's only been a few days. It doesn't just disappear like that."

"It might if the person you're wary of happens to be an attractive woman."

"The beautiful ones tend to be the most dangerous."

"Good to know you think I'm beautiful."

Ciel turned away with a scowl and blush.

"Kiyota is right. You always scowl."

That earned an eye roll from the heir. "You don't seem to have a problem with it."

"Because you're an honest human."

That made him regard her with a raised eyebrow.

"I've met some other Demihumans while I was transported from our homelands to the human cities. I heard their worries about the kind of attention they might receive from the humans. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have the same worries. More so given my appearance."

Ciel frowned. "…Well. I'm sorry I confirmed your fears."

"I wasn't afraid."

"Sure you weren't."

She flicked his head, earning another scowl from the heir.

"And, in a way, you did…but also didn't."

"I don't follow?"

Rachnera smiled at him. "It's true you expressed your reservations over having me around. Yet you chose to put them aside and get to know me."

Ciel frowned. "It was the sensible thing to do. Letting my reservations dominate my every move throughout out time together would only cause unnecessary complications. I did not wish to deal with that."

"Had you said that before we got to know each other, I'd have believed it. But it's more than that."

She leaned down to whisper in his ear. "You're not as bad as you make yourself out to be."

…

…

Ciel hmphed. "Believe that if you must."

Rachnera grinned. "Stubborn till the end."

She suddenly placed a hand on his chest and pushed him down onto the bed, hovering over him.

"That will make breaking you _all_ the more satisfying~."

Ciel scowled, but was panicking inside.

"R-Rach, this is prohibited!"

"It is, yes…but who says anyone needs to find out?"

 _Oh shit._

"Now then, I assume you're a virgin, yes? I'll take the lead."

She undid all the buttons on her top, revealing her bra-clad breasts.

Ciel had a nosebleed.

"Oh come now, Honey. You've seen them bare, yet you still react like this?"

"H-Have you no decency, Rach?!"

"Not much, no."

Figures.

She removed her shirt and tossed it aside, then moved her arms behind her back to unhook her bra.

 _A-An opening!_

Ciel quickly sat up and tried to escape, but Rachnera shot that plan down by pushing him back down, holding him in place.

"Now now, Honey. There's no need for dramatics."

"T-This is too soon!"

"Oh? You were planning on waiting?"

"Yes. I mean, no! I mean, this can't happen!"

"Well, it is. So just lay back and enjoy it, Honey."

She reached behind her back with one hand this time, the other keeping Ciel in place so that he didn't make another escape attempt.

Ciel quickly assessed the situation.

…

…

He was fucked. Or, well, he was _going_ to be fucked.

 _Never thought I'd ask for this, but I could sure use a cockblock right about now._

…

…

 _Any time, now._

…

…

 _Goddamn it._

Rachnera unclipped her bra, allowing her luscious large breasts to bounce free.

Ciel went comically white.

"Now then~," Rachnera purred, gazing lustfully at the heir. "Shall we begin~?"

Ciel's soul threatened to leave his body.

 _Oh god, I'm about to become a man._

 **BOOM!**

The Arachne and heir were obviously surprised when the door was comically blown open, and some men in SWAT gear led by a female agent charged in.

"Hold it!" the female agent shouted. "We're with the Inter-species Exchange Security Squad! We received a tip that someone led an Arachne in here for lewd purposes!"

The agent pulled her mask down, revealing herself to be Agent Smith.

"Though I am of the belief it was the other way around," she admitted, a glare aimed at Rachnera.

The Arachne pouted. "And so the fun is ruined."

 _Oh thank god,_ the soul currently leaking out of Ciel's mouth thought.

* * *

 _(Several minutes earlier)_

Kiyota sat on the bed, a nervous look on his face.

 _Jeez, I need to calm down. N-Not like we're_ actually _gonna do anything. We just needed a place to hide is all._

Miia came out of the bathroom in a towel. "Wow, the shower was amazing! It wasn't as big as the one back home, but it was still pretty big."

"So, you're alright, then?" Kiyota asked as Miia slithered onto the bed.

"Yeah, I fell better now." She started checking out the drawer compartments near the bed. "But this is a hotel, right? I don't have any of my stuff."

"Well, we aren't-."

"Wait, no. This is that _love_ motel Rachnera mentioned earlier, right?"

Kiyota stiffened. "W-Well…yeah."

"Why is it called that? Is it different from a normal hotel?"

"W-Well, more or less. For this place, we don't stay the night."

"Then what's the point of this hotel?"

Kiyota looked away. "W-What is the point, indeed! I-I certainly don't know!"

"Why are you nervous?"

"I'm not nervous. You're nervous."

 _ **Great comeback, bro.**_

 _Fuck off, brain._

"And what's this?" she asked, very clearly holding out a condom.

"N-NOTHING! P-PUT THAT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT!"

Miia just blinked in confusion.

After that little situation, Kiyota and Miia sat beside each other, deep in thought.

…

…

"I guess humans still don't like us," Miia sighed. "People are only nice to us because it's required by law."

Kiyota scratched his head. "I don't think it's like that for _everyone_. Some, maybe. But-."

"You said you weren't afraid of me. Is that still true?"

Kiyota blinked. "Of course it is."

"W-Well…are you afraid of being arrested if you're not nice to me?"

…

…

"Well, that's a stupid question."

That threw Miia for a loop. "H-Huh?"

"Miia, generally speaking, a person would be more afraid of a monster than the government. Especially if said monster is right next to them."

He put a hand on her shoulder. "I have no reason to be afraid of you. And I have no reason to fear being arrested. Especially since you've done nothing to warrant any ill will on my part. Nor would I ever feel any ill will towards you."

She glanced at his cheek. "E-Even if I hurt you?"

"Miia, that was accidental. You don't mean to hurt me. It just happens. Sure, I'd rather it _didn't_ happen, but it can't be helped."

"Besides," he smiled. "I can't really be mad at a pretty girl like you."

Miia blushed. "Y-You…really see me as a girl? J-Just a regular girl?"

"Well, yeah. Doesn't matter if you're human or Demihuman. You're still a nice girl in the end."

Miia got teary-eyed. "D…D-Darli-."

An explosion suddenly echoed from outside, close enough that it seemed to come from next door.

Miia was suddenly nervous. "W-Was that an explosion?"

"Yeah…and from the room Ciel and Rachnera were in."

Kiyota stood up and moved towards the door, then slowly turned the knob and pulled the door open to peek out. He saw what appeared to be guys in SWAT gear.

He closed the door and hid a snicker. "C-Ciel and Rachnera got b-busted! Ha!"

"Isn't that bad?"

"N-Nah. Ciel can explain it away. It's still funny, though."

"They won't blow up this door, will they?"

Kiyota paused.

…

…

"I should probably-."

 **BOOM!**

"ACK!"

Kiyota was sent flying across the room, slamming against the wall and collapsing onto the drawers, then bed, then the floor, landing upside down.

"D-Darling!"

"Ow."

Agent Smith marched in. "We're with the Inter-Species Exchange Security Squad! And we-!"

She blinked. "Oh, so it _was_ you, Kiyota."

"I told you!" came Ciel's shout from next door.

 _ **You could off this squad, you know? No one would miss them.**_

 _Brain…no. Just, no._

"You hurt my Darling, Smith!"

Smith giggled. "My apologies. I just needed to be sure."

 _ **How about now?**_

… _Thinking about it._

* * *

After that little spectacle, Ciel and Kiyota were able to explain why they came to this love hotel with the girls after Smith _specifically_ said not to. She accepted their reasoning easily since they hadn't actually engaged in prohibited activities.

Not through lack of trying on Rachnera's part, though.

"So Smith cockblocked you?" Kiyota asked as the group of now five walked down to the lobby. "That's freakin' hysterical."

Ciel grunted. "More like she 'cockblocked' Rachnera."

"Wouldn't that make it pussyblocking then?"

"That's not a word…also, never say it again."

"No promises." Kiyota turned to Smith. "How did you even find us anyway?"

Smith beamed with pride. "Never underestimate the government's ability to gather information."

The other four stared at her.

…

…

She held out her phone with no shame. "We used Twitter."

That earned a deadpan from Ciel and a snort from Kiyota.

Rachnera pouted. "She still ruined our fun."

" _Your_ fun," Ciel corrected. "Not mine."

Kiyota snickered. "I bet you still liked it."

"Quiet you."

"You didn't deny it."

Ciel grumbled and moved ahead of everyone.

The five made it down to the lobby, where they had a run-in with two people they hoped never to see again.

"What the hell?!" the man laughed. "The snake and spider women are at a love hotel?!"

"That's so gross!" the woman laughed along.

Miia and Rachnera were clearly bothered by it, their eyes hidden in the shadow of their hair.

"Hey!" Smith shouted. "Knock if off, both of you!"

The two obviously didn't listen.

"Those things can screw?! Do they even have pussies?!"

"And the spider is with a little boy of all people?! I don't believe it!"

And now the two Demihumans were angry. Miia's eyes became slits as her tail rattled, and Rachnera bared her sharp teeth and claws.

Smith noticed their anger. "Miia, Rachnera! Calm down!"

The time for calm was over. Miia and Rachnera prepared to lunge-.

"Ahem."

Only to fall flat on the floor face first when they saw Ciel standing right in front of the racist couple. The two stopped their laughing.

"Huh? What do you want, twerp?" the man demanded.

"First off," Ciel started. "I'm 18. A young adult. Not a child."

The racist couple blinked.

"…I don't see it," the man said.

"Me neither," said the woman.

"Of course you don't. In any case, I've come to kindly ask that you two cease your ill will towards Miia and Rachnera. No one appreciates what you're saying, and you're only causing a scene."

The man snorted. "You expect us to listen to a kid?"

"Young. Adult." Ciel gritted out. "And now, I'm no longer asking. I'm _demanding_. Cease your obnoxious behavior."

The man growled and leaned down to glare at Ciel.

"And if we don't, _brat_?"

…

…

"Kiyota."

Said lunatic grinned with constricted eyes from _behind_ the racist couple.

"Go nuts."

The moment Ciel gave the okay, Kiyota suddenly appeared in front of the racist couple, grabbed them by their necks, and pushed them _through_ the glass entrance with no problem whatsoever. The three disappeared without a trace.

Those in the lobby other than Ciel stared in shock…

The heir took out a small stack of bills and slid it towards the concierge lady.

"You saw nothing."

The woman stared…then took the money and nodded.

Ciel then took out his check book, wrote an estimate, and handed it to her.

"And that should cover the damages to the entrance. Be sure the manager gets that."

The lady left for the manager as Ciel returned to Miia, Rachnera, and Smith.

"Well, I believe that marks the end of the double date. This has been a rather exhausting day, and I'm ready to go home."

He turned to Miia. "Kiyota will meet us back at the apartment. If you'll follow Rach and I?"

She blinked, not entirely sure what just happened. She nodded, nonetheless.

Ciel turned to Rachnera. "Shall we return home?"

The Arachne nodded hesitantly.

Smith finally managed to say something. "W-Wait a minute! What's going on? How did Kiyota even get behind them so quickly?! And what is he-?!"

"It was wonderful to see you again, Agent Smith," Ciel interrupted. "I wish it had been under different and less embarrassing circumstances, but it can't be helped. Until we meet again. Which, knowing you, may be sooner rather than later."

Ciel turned and walked away without another word, Miia and Rachnera following along in both confusion and nervousness.

Smith just watched as they left.

…

…

"What just happened?"

* * *

"B-Bastard!" the woman shouted. "Let us go!"

Kiyota slammed their heads against the brick wall in the alleyway they were in.

"You know, you two aren't very nice. And to be mean to such nice girls? Tsk, tsk. That simply will not do."

"F-Fuck you!" the man growled. "I-ll-!"

Kiyota tossed the woman aside, drew his knife, and stabbed the man in the gut.

The man froze, clear shock in his eyes.

The woman screamed.

Kiyota just stared with his crazed, constricted eyes.

"I'm not one to talk, but it's rude to curse someone."

He twisted the knife, earning a scream from the man.

"P=Please stop!" the woman begged.

Kiyota gave a glare. "If I catch you two acting like shits around us ever again, your lives will be _**forfeit**_."

His eyes constricted even more. "And that's not a _threat_. That's a _**promise**_."

The woman nodded frantically.

He turned back to the man. "Got that?"

The man nodded frantically as well, face twisted in pain.

Kiyota twisted the knife one more time, earning another scream from the man, before pulling the knife out. Ignoring the resulting scream, he pulled out a bundled-up cloth and jammed it onto the knife wound.

"Agh! The fuck?!"

"Shut up."

Kiyota grabbed the man's hand and forced it onto the cloth. "Keep pressure there. I stabbed you in a non-fatal area, but you being an idiot could make it otherwise."

The sound of an ambulance was heard.

"Ah. Right on schedule."

Kiyota cleaned his knife of the blood and pocketed it.

"You two were mugged," Kiyota stated. "Tough guy here tried to defend his girlfriend and got stabbed for it. Such a hero. You two got that, right?"

They nodded frantically.

"Good. And if it turns out you didn't go with that story-."

He dropped their ID's onto the ground.

" _I know where you two live_."

They paled in fear.

Kiyota gave a lazy wave. "Goodbye. Hope to see you never. And I'm sure the feeling's mutual."

He left the racist couple quivering in the alleyway as the ambulance showed up, ready to tend to the wounded man. Kiyota exited the alleyway and found a spot where a hobo was heating his hands over a fire in a barrel. He dropped the bloodied cloth into the fire, destroying the evidence. He then gave the hobo a lazy stare.

The hobo raised his hands. "I didn't hear or see nothing."

"Good."

Kiyota left, done for the day.

* * *

Ciel sat at the head of the kitchen table, calmly sipping his tea. Miia and Rachnera sat at the sides of the table, unsure how to broach the topic of what just happened.

…

…

The sound of the door being kicked open was heard.

"I'M BACK, BITCHES!"

Ciel deadpanned. "Kiyota, we have ladies present now."

Kiyota faltered. "O-Oh. Right. S-Sorry, you two. It's just something I say."

"I-It's okay, Darling," Miia mumbled.

Kiyota raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong, Miia?"

Ciel rolled his eye. "Obviously, there is. And you should know why, as well."

"…Oh, right. That."

Rachnera frowned. "What exactly happened back there?"

"Those two were being idiots," Ciel stated. "Kiyota set them straight. End of story."

He glanced at Kiyota. "And he did so the right way, yes?"

Kiyota rolled his eyes. "Don't worry. It's all good. Nothing bad happened."

Ciel gave him a flat stare.

"…Okay, nothing _immoral_ happened."

The flat stare continued.

"They're fine, okay?! Jeez."

"Excellent." Ciel sipped his tea. "Then the matter is settled."

"I beg to differ," Rachnera said.

Ciel sighed. "Look, the fact of the matter is this. You two were about to lose your temples and attack those two, which would've had you both deported in a heartbeat. I simply intervened and had Kiyota take care of it, instead."

Kiyota grunted. "Since it was just me, it's nothing but a fight. They weren't worth getting you two deported."

"And it's a nice thing you two did," Rachnera admitted. "But still…it was a little suspicious. And I feel that it's connected to Kiyota apparently having a tracker on him."

Miia blinked. "Wait, what?"

Kiyota deadpanned at Ciel. "You told her about that?"

"It couldn't be helped."

…

…

"Fuck it," Kiyota said. "It was bound to come out sooner or later."

He fiddled with a spoon. "I might be a little…mentally unstable."

Rachnera and Miia stared….

"What?!" they both exclaimed.

Ciel groaned. "Calm down. Both of you. It's not worth fretting over."

"The fact he's apparently _certifiable_ seems like it's worth fretting over!" Rachnera shouted.

"He's not a danger," Ciel calmly countered. "Kiyota is perfectly safe to be around. He can control himself. Also, it's rude to talk about him when he's right there."

Kiyota shrugged. "Meh."

Rachnera turned to Ciel. "Does Smith know?"

"…No. And I would prefer it be kept that way."

Kiyota grimaced. "Might be a little hard since she saw that little show."

Ciel sighed. "Don't remind me."

Miia finally spoke. "W-Why doesn't she know?"

"Because if she did, then she'd inform law enforcement, and Kiyota would be locked up in some asylum somewhere. No one would listen to any explanation I might have. Especially since Demihumans are involved."

He frowned. "I might be a somewhat influential individual, but nothing I say would keep Kiyota out of the asylum. In fact, I may very well be arrested for it. And then you two would either be deported or sent to other host families."

That gave Miia and Rachnera pause.

Ciel sighed again. "I apologize for keeping something like this from you two. It was my idea. Kiyota is not at fault."

Kiyota stayed silent, lightly tapping the table with his finger.

…

…

"I don't care," Miia finally said.

That certainly threw the other three for a loop.

"Y-You don't?" Kiyota asked.

She shook her head. "No. I was surprised and a little worried, I admit."

She smiled at him. "But…you accepted me with a smile. You weren't afraid of me, and you only saw me as a regular girl. Such kindness from someone who's apparently crazy."

Kiyota scratched his cheek. "W-Well…I try my best."

"And again, you weren't afraid of me," Miia beamed. "I'd be a hypocrite if I judged and feared you after everything."

She blushed. "A-And also…I love you, Darling."

Ciel scoffed. "Too much passion for my liking."

"Quiet, shorty."

Kiyota's jaw dropped, as did Ciel's and Rachnera's.

Miia smiled mischievously.

…Kiyota gave a fake sniff. "I'm so proud."

Ciel groaned. "You've corrupted her. Wonderful."

As Kiyota and Miia laughed, Ciel turned to his homestay.

"Do you have anything else to say?"

Rachnera frowned. "…I-."

"I can understand if you have your suspicions, but I ask that you trust me."

She regarded him as he continued.

"I've had Kiyota around me for nearly a year. I can attest that he is in control of himself. There may be risk of a lapse from said control sometimes, but it's not dangerous."

Ciel gave Rachnera a serious look.

"I trust him with my life, Rach. And if I thought he posed any danger to you or Miia, I would not have accepted this homestay arrangement. So please…don't be wary of him."

…

…

"I'm amazed you're defending him this much," Rachnera said. "And here you claim you're just 'acquaintances'."

"We are," Ciel insisted.

"Right." Rachnera smiled. "I was right, earlier."

"About what?"

"You're not as bad as you make yourself out to be."

…Ciel huffed and looked away.

Rachnera giggled and pat his head. "Very well. If you trust him so much, then I will as well."

He sighed in relief. "Thank you."

The heir and spider-woman turned back to the other two-.

"What the actual hell?!"

Only to find Miia on top of Kiyota on the ground, trying to take his clothes off.

"What? I'm ready for my first time!"

"In front of us?!" Ciel exclaimed.

"You two were having a moment, so I thought we could get away with it."

"Absolutely not! Not after this morning! And _definitely_ not after you and Rach nearly getting deported!"

"Quiet, shorty!"

"S-So proud."

"ARRGH!"

Rachnera smirked mischievously. "Now that I think about it, we didn't get to finish our fun back in the love hotel."

"DON'T YOU START AS WELL!"

"I'm starting as well."

Ciel tried to make a run for it, but Rachnera shot out some webs and caught him.

"Ack!"

"Oh hey, she's Spider-Man! No, wait. Spider-Woman! Yeah."

"Darling~!"

"RELEASE ME THIS INSTANT!"

"No."

"ARRGH!"

Before the shenanigans could continue, a knock on the door was heard.

Everyone was silent.

Kiyota wriggled his way out of Miia's grasp and moved to the door, looking through the peekhole.

"It's Smith."

Ciel tensed. "…Rach, cut me down. I'll answer it."

Rachnera quickly cut Ciel down, and the heir moved towards the door. Taking a deep breath, he opened it.

"Ye- MMPH!"

Ciel found himself once again smothered by Smith's impressive bust.

"Hello, Honey~."

"MMPH! MMPH!"

Rachnera scowled.

Miia snickered.

Kiyota had chosen to stay out of sight, but tried to hold in his snickering.

Smith let go of Ciel. "I wanted to check in on you all after today."

Ciel scowled and pat himself of dust. "Well, we're fine. And I thought I said not to do that?"

"You did. I didn't listen."

Figures.

"By the way, did Kiyota make it back like you said?"

Ciel tensed. "…He did."

"Ah." She looked around. "Where is he?"

"He-."

"Right here."

Kiyota made himself known…suddenly in an apron with some curry on a plate.

"We were about to have dinner. Care to join us?"

Smith's stomach grumbled. "You read my mind."

Miia blinked. "Wait, when did you make that?"

"Just now."

"But it's only been a few seconds!"

"Yup."

"…You're good."

"I know."

Smith moved and grabbed the plate. When she did, she and Kiyota had a staredown.

…

…

She took the plate and smiled. "Thank you."

He smiled back. "No problem."

"By the way, what happened to the two offenders?"

The smile weakened a little. "…I set them straight. They'll be nicer next time we see them. If we ever do."

"I see…that's good to hear."

Smith sat down and started eating.

Miia was relieved that went down so smoothly…but pouted because now she couldn't continue her fun with Kiyota. Same with Rachnera for Ciel.

As for the heir…he knew how to read people. She seemed alright right now, but he knew better.

She wasn't going to let this go.

"By the way," Smith said, holding out a triangle cloth. "You forgot these, Miia."

Miia's embarrassed scream echoed into the night.

* * *

 **A/N: And so ends that. Yeah, it ended up being a double date. I tried to be a little original, but got lazy and wanted this out as fast as possible after so long a wait. And a double date seemed easier to write.**

 **So…Chibi Ciel…that's a thing. You can thank Ciel's dad for that.**

 **Kiyota went psycho on the racist couple…hooray?**

 **And now Miia and Rachnera know about Kiyota, with Smith being a little suspicious. I detect some future conflict with the latter.**

 **I've also revealed a little about the kind of relationship Ciel and Kiyota have. As well as how unhinged Kiyota can be. It may be "controlled", but it doesn't change the fact he's certifiable. But hey! At least he's a chill dude, right?**

 **So there…that's the first episode out of the way. What happened in the next episode, again?**

" **I'm Papi! Papi the Harpy!"**

" **To think we've met. It must be fate!"**

… **Eeyup. New monster girls will come to play! I'll try to have both in the next chapter, but given how it took two to get the first episode alone….**

 **I'll try, but no promises.**

 **If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it. I love reading them.**

 **I'll let you all speculate who the next two monsters go with.**

 **See you in the next update.**

 **LATERS!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello, readers. Welcome to another installment of Of Monsters, Heirs, and the Unhinged!**

 **Wow. A chapter sooner than usual? I wonder what could've caused such a thing?**

 ***hides Blu-ray of Monster Musume that had recently been delivered***

 **Eh, maybe I was just inspired to get the next two monster girls in.**

 **And…well, minor spoiler, it's not both like I hoped. Didn't want another long chapter after the last one. And don't want chapters to be too long in general.**

 **So, last we left off, the double date went off without a hitch…ish. And Smith has her suspicions about Kiyota. So…yeah, that'll be a thing.**

 **All that said, on with the chapter!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Monster Musume._

* * *

A single day had passed since the "double date", and not much had changed in the household after the revelation of Kiyota's mental state. The two humans and their homestays went through the day like usual. Ciel and Rachnera sat at the kitchen table, the Arachne sitting close to the heir, both sipping tea. Kiyota and Miia were out on the balcony, hanging towels, blankets and bedsheets out to dry.

Well…Kiyota was, anyway.

"Miia," Ciel sighed. "Please stop poking Kiyota's head."

"B-But I need to prove my love for Darling by showing no judgement when I see him acting crazy!"

Rachnera hummed. "I'm rather curious how he acts while in that mental state."

"Poking his head doesn't trigger his unhinged nature. All you're doing is inconveniencing him."

Kiyota shrugged. "Meh. I don't mind."

"See? Darling is so generous! Not like you, shorty."

"I can be generous."

"You can? Then give me a raise."

"Shut up, Kiyota."

That made Rachnera giggle.

Miia pouted. "I still don't know how you two are friends."

"Acquaintances," the two humans corrected at the same time.

Kiyota hung up Miia's bedsheets. "Anyway, it's probably for the best you don't actually see how I'm like when I lose it. I'd…rather not freak you out."

"I told you, Darling," Miia smiled. "I won't care. You didn't judge me, so I won't judge you."

Ciel sipped his tea. "It's easier to _say_ something than it is to follow through with it."

Miia gave a comical glare. "Meanie."

He ignored her.

Miia turned back to Kiyota. "Can you at least tell me what happened when you took those two away? I bet you were so epic!"

* * *

" _You dare laugh at my Miia? Have at thee!"_

 _Miia's interpretation of Kiyota strikes down the racist couple like Zeus from Mount Olympus._

" _AAAHHH!" the couple screamed._

* * *

The other three stared at the daydreaming Miia.

"…" Kiyota rubbed her head. "You certainly have an active imagination, Miia."

"I'm surprised she even knows who Zeus is," Ciel commented. "Didn't think Demihumans knew about Greek Mythology."

"It's something we tend to listen to a bit," Rachnera said. "Most Demihumans actually believe that the Kraken is real. And still alive."

Ciel blinked. "…Is it?"

"It's debatable."

Miia perked up. "And some believe that Medusa is the ancestor to the Lamia species and subspecies!"

Now Kiyota blinked. "…Is she?"

"Well, the Gorgons believe she is. The truth was lost to time, though. So no one knows."

Huh…the more you know.

Miia beamed. "Anyway, I'm sure my Darling was epic and dashing!"

Kiyota whistled innocently.

"Defending my honor!"

"What about me?" Rachnera asked.

"What about you?"

Ciel snorted at that, earning a flick to the head from his homestay.

"And don't worry, Darling," Miia beamed as she slithered back inside the apartment. "I'll protect you as well."

Kiyota blinked. "Protect _me_? From what?"

"Whatever tries to keep us apart."

Before he could respond to that, a shadow suddenly loomed over the lunatic. Kiyota's eyes constricted, and he reacted quickly, turning and grabbing the sharp object about to grab him. Once he did-.

 _A claw? No, it's a talon…the fu-?_

Another talon grabbed him by his face.

"Ack!"

His shout brought the attention of the other three to bear.

"D-Darling!"

"What in blazes?!"

"Oh my."

The two Demihumans and the heir found Kiyota struggling with what appeared to be a Harpy. Though Miia had a clear view, Ciel and Rachnera did not. Before the latter two could get a better look, the Harpy turned and flew away, with Kiyota in han- er, talon.

"DARLING!"

Ciel closed his eye. "…I wanted a peaceful day. Was that too much to ask?"

"Oh Honey," Rachnera chuckled. "I doubt it'll be peaceful around here ever again."

"I don't doubt that."

Miia zoomed past them and crashed through the door.

"I'M COMING, DARLING!"

"MIIA, NO! YOU CAN'T GO OU- and she's gone."

…

…

Rachnera tilted her head. "Are we going after her?"

"Of course we are!" Ciel set his tea down and stood up. "If she gets caught out there alone without Kiyota, there's going to be trouble."

He quickly moved. "Come on. If we hurry, we can-."

Webbing strung him in the air.

"Ack! The hell?!"

Rachnera hummed mischievously.

"R-Rach! What is the meaning of this?!"

"Kiyota and Miia are gone…we're alone at last."

… _Oh fuck all kinds of duck._

She crawled up to him, caressing his cheek.

"Now then…let's have some fun, shall we?"

"T-This is the worst possible time for this!"

"Actually, this is the _perfect_ time for this. A prime opportunity, don't you think?"

… _Goddamn it, she's not wrong._

"Don't worry, Honey," she smirked. "I'm sure Kiyota and Miia will be fine. Right now, you should focus one what I intend to do to you."

She nibbled on his ear, earning a shiver from the heir.

"Now then-." She unzipped her top. "Let's start our fun, shall we?"

 _Oh god._

* * *

Kiyota found himself staring down at the city far below him, the talons having switched to grabbing his shoulders.

 _You know, maybe it's the majestic flight of whatever bird this is. Or my insanity kicking in. But for the first time, I'm experiencing true serenity._

 _ **I'll say. I can feel love, happiness, and peace roaming in me.**_

 _How does it feel?_

 _ **It feels…warm**_

…

…

 _ **Okay, it's too much now. You need to stab something to rebalance me.**_

 _What do you expect me to stab?_

 _ **The bird. Duh.**_

 _Wouldn't that result in me falling to my death?_

… _ **Don't think too hard about it. That's my job.**_

 _Okay, ignoring you for the rest of this flight._

Kiyota noticed that he and whatever bird had kidnapped him were approaching the park. And they were losing altitude.

 _Either we're crashing, or the park is the bird's destination._

 _ **Neat. You can stab it there.**_

 _Is stabbing all you think about?_

 _ **No. It's what**_ **you** _ **think about. I'm**_ **your** _ **brain, remember?**_

 _Yeah, been meaning to ask about that. How am I able to talk to you?_

 _ **Well, there's two possible explanations for that. Either you've developed a split personality, and so here I am. Or, you're so unhinged that you're making yourself think that you're talking to your own brain, when in fact you're just talking to yourself.**_

… _So which is it?_

 _ **Did you know you're falling?**_

 _Wait, what?_

Kiyota blinked and looked down, seeing that he was fast approaching a tree on the ground.

"OH SHI-!

He crashed into the tree, hitting many branches.

"ACK! OW! SHIT! FUCKING! SON OF A! HORSESHIT!"

He finally landing belly first onto a branch, slumped on it.

"…Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh."

Kiyota wheezed as he slid his body onto the branch so that he'd have a better grip.

"I swear, if I see that bird ever again, I'm stabbing the shit out of it."

"Oh cool, you're okay!"

"Huh?"

Kiyota looked up and…huh.

"I retract my earlier threat."

"Huh?"

"Nothing, um…hello bird girl."

The "bird" turned out to be a petite looking Demihuman girl. Blue hair. Blue feathered wings instead of arms, each having exposed thumbs that ended in a sharp black claw. Large talons that looked rather sharp instead of feet. Her choice of attire consisted of short black tank top that only covered her modest chest and low-cut jean shorts.

"My name's not bird girl, silly! It's Papi! Papi the Harpy!"

"Oh. Well hello, Papi the…Harpy. Hey, that rhymes."

"I know, right?! Papi the Harpy! Papi the Harpi! Papi the Papi! Harpi the- wait. Um…Papi Parpy Papi!"

"I think you fumbled your words there."

"You can't fumble words! You can only fumble the ball!"

"How do you know about football?"

"What's football?"

Kiyota sweatdropped. Papi just smiled her innocent wide-eyed smile.

 _ **I think she's retarded.**_

 _Dude! Don't say that! That's very insensitive!_

 _ **Bite me. This is Japan. Not America.**_

… _Fair enough._

"So, um," Kiyota began. "Are you out here alone, or-?"

"Yeah! But I'm not supposed to be alone. That's why I brought you here!"

Kiyota deadpanned. "You kidnapped me so that you wouldn't be alone?"

"Yup! Best plan ever!"

 _ **I stand by what I said.**_

 _Shut up._

"Oh look! Is that food down there?! Let's go!"

Papi grabbed Kiyota with her talons and flew him off the tree, dropping him.

"Oh shi-!" He landed on his feet. "Wow, that was close."

Papi grabbed Kiyota by his arm and dragged him towards an ice cream van.

One.

…

Two.

…

Three steps later, she stopped, suddenly confused. She turned and regarded Kiyota with a confused look.

"Um…who are you?"

Kiyota facefaulted.

 _ **Yup. Definitely retarded.**_

 _You can at least call her a birdbrain, instead of that._

… _ **Nah, I call it like it is.**_

 _I'm never letting you speak for me._

"Hey, you like staring off at nothing, too?"

Kiyota blinked and realized he had been staring off at the distance while he had his inner monologue with his brain…or rather, himself…ugh, that would be a headache for a while.

"Sorry about that. Um…want some ice cream?"

"Really?!"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Yay!"

* * *

Kiyota and Papi now sat on a bench, each having a popsicle stick and ice cream cone respectively.

"Oh wow, this looks so good! I love the human food this city has!"

"That doesn't surprise me," Kiyota chuckled. "By the way, you said you were alone, right? Where's your host family?"

"Well, they said I couldn't leave them until I memorized the Inter-Species Municipal Bill-."

"Exchange Bill."

"-but it was too hard to understand. So, when the Terminator wasn't looking-."

"Do you mean the Coordinator, or Arnold Schwarzenneger?"

"Who's that?"

"Coordinator, it is. Continue."

"Well, when the Coordinator wasn't looking, I flew off!"

Kiyota stared. "…And you thought that was a good idea, because?"

"Don't worry!" Papi beamed. "I ran away a lot before, and I never got in trouble!"

She suddenly looked thoughtful. "Although…they said that if I ran away again, they'd incest me. What does that mean?"

"That depends…were they your family?"

"No."

"Then I think they meant 'deport'."

He pat her head. "Hate to break it to ya, but I think you're gonna get deported. Sorry about that."

Papi comically froze. "W-What?"

 **SPLAT.**

And there went Papi's ice cream.

"Nooooooo!" Papi bawled. "My ice creeeeeaaaaaammm!"

 _I tell her she might get deported, and she cries over fallen ice cream._

 _ **At least she has her priorities straight.**_

Papi sniffled. "I-It was too hard to hold."

Kiyota glanced at her "hands". "…I can see why."

He held out his popsicle stick to her. "Want mine? It's not a cone, but eh."

"R-Really?" she beamed. "Thank you!"

She then proceeded to suck on his stick.

…

…

Popsicle stick, that is.

"Mmm~, so good."

Kiyota grimaced. "Er…maybe you should hold it, Papi?"

She looked up at him, his sti- _popsicle_ stick still in her mouth. "Caw yu hole id? I mide dwup id."

She went back to sucking on his sti- POPSICLE!

Kiyota's grimace grew as people started to look his way.

"I-It's just…this kinda looks like…."

"What is he _doing_?"

"The hell?"

"He's a pervert!"

"That's hot."

Kiyota made a mental note to keep himself and Papi away from that last one.

 _ **So…she's sucking on your stick. How does it feel?**_

 _You know damn well that's not what's happening!_

 _ **Yeah, I know…you're pretending it's Miia doing the sucking.**_

 _I hate you._

"We should film this and monetize it on Pornhub!"

And _that_ brought Kiyota back to reality.

"O-Okay, that's it!" He yanked the popsicle stick out of Papi's mouth and made sure to hold it out in view of everyone. "N-No more ice cream for you!"

"…I'm still monetizing it on Pornhub."

Kiyota made a mental note to hunt that guy down and stab him.

"I-I'm covered in all this sticky stuff."

Kiyota could only look defeated as Papi examined the ice cream now all over her body in a _very_ incriminating way.

 _ **Oh hey, you came all over her.**_

 _NOT HELPING!_

"T-There's a faucet over there!" he exclaimed, pointing and marching towards it. "Y-You can clean up over there!"

When he looked back, his jaw dropped.

"PAPI, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Papi was now nude.

"What? I'm using the fountain to wash myself."

"Why are you naked?!"

"We're supposed to be naked when bathing, silly!"

… _ **She's got you there.**_

 _Goddamn it._

Papi sighed happily. "This fountain is so relaxing~. And the water is nice and cool~."

Kiyota could only stare with an aghast look, while the rest of the onlookers stared with a drooling expression.

"I'm monetizing this as well!"

Stabbing…so much stabbing for later.

 _ **I'm gonna guess that Papi doesn't have an ounce of common sense in her entire body. Otherwise, she'd have a problem with all these people watching her.**_

 _I second that._

A talon grabbed his face.

"Ack!"

He was slammed into the water.

"Come on! I want you to bathe with me!"

"Papi, no!"

 _ **Miia will be so jealous.**_

"Shut up!"

"Huh?"

"N-Not you."

"DARLING!"

That shout caught Kiyota and Papi's attention. They turned to find an angry Miia glaring them down.

"Oh, hey Miia," Kiyota waved. "How'd you find us?"

"Woman's intuition!"

"…Okay."

She glared at Papi. "And _you_! How dare you kidnap my Darling to elope with him!"

Kiyota held his hands up defensively. "N-Now now, that isn't what's happeni-."

"I'm so jealous!"

 _ **Ha! I knew it!**_

 _Fucking…shit._

Miia got up in Papi's face. "I want to be the one to kidnap my Darling and elope with him!"

 _ **Technically, she was gonna do that first part before.**_

 _True._

"And yet you do it instead! How dare you! You shall get the death penalty!"

"What?! You wanna fight, snake girl?!"

 _I should probably stop this before it gets out of hand._

 _ **You sure? Papi might shred Miia's shirt off.**_

…

…

 _I almost went for that._

 _ **You're no fun at all.**_

Kiyota got between the two angry Demihumans. "Hey now, no fighting. We don't want to make this into a thing for people to film."

"Do it! I'll monetize it on YouTube!"

"DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?!"

"Not really, no."

The stabbing would be great.

"Take this!" Miia shouted.

 _And_ here _we go._

And so an epic battle between Lamia and Harpy commenced, with Man caught in the middle. Strangulations were had (mainly Kiyota), faces were clawed (again, mainly Kiyota), and the only significant loss was that of Miia's shirt. Though most men would think it a just loss, if only to see those nice breasts.

"Maybe I should put this on Pornhub, instead?"

And now the battle was documented…wonderful.

"Ha!" Miia exclaimed. "Your claws mean nothing to me!"

"I'll show you!" Papi fired back.

Kiyota just sat there, staring with a deadpan expression.

 _ **You could always pull a Ciel.**_

 _I'm not raging at them._

 _ **I meant do something he might do in this situation.**_

…

…

 _Got it._

Kiyota got up and moved towards Miia and Papi, then pulled on their ears.

"Ow! Darling, why?!"

"Owie, owie, owie!"

Kiyota gave a stern look. "Are you two done? You two are causing a scene."

When the three turned, they found that the crowd wasn't paying attention to them, anymore. In fact, there was only person watching them, filming it all on his-.

"WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE, ALREADY?!"

The man ran away. "I'M MONETIZING THIS SHIT!"

Stabbing. So much stabbing. And blood. There will be blood.

 _ **That was a good movie.**_

 _I know, right? For an American, Daniel Day-Lewis is lit._

Now that that reference had been made, let's see what exactly is drawing the crowd's attention.

"M-Mama…M-Mama…"

Ah. A little girl stuck up in a tall tree….

Wait.

Kiyota's eyes widened. "Oh shit."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Miia asked.

"Yes. Yes it is. So is you being practically topless."

Miia squeaked a little and covered herself.

"Don't worry!" Papi beamed. "I'll fly up there and peck her down!"

Kiyota gave Miia his blazer. "I don't think that's a-."

Papi flew off.

"-good idea."

Papi didn't even make it five feet before faceplanted the ground.

…

…

"My wings are too heavy because they're wet~!" Papi whined.

Kiyota and Miia simply sweatdropped.

 _ **You know, you should totally climb up this big tree and save the girl. Be the dashing prince Miia thinks you are.**_

… _It_ would _be the right thing to do, wouldn't it?_

"Don't worry, Darling!" Miia exclaimed, tying the blazer over her chest. "I'll save the girl! Lamia are great at climbing trees!"

Kiyota blinked. "Wait, wha-?"

Miia was already slithering her way up the tree before he could finish.

 _ **Shame on you. Some dashing prince**_ **you** _ **turned out to be.**_

 _Shut up._

Kiyota and Papi watched as Miia disappeared into the branches and leaves, not knowing Miia had an ulterior motive: saving the girl in order to impress Kiyota.

…

…

"AAAAHHH!"

Evidently, something went wrong. If the little girl's terrified screaming was anything to go by. And the result was the little girl losing her grip and falling to her potential demise. Miia launched her tail out in an attempt to catch her, but the little girl was out of reach.

 _Well shit._

Papi leaped into the air and caught the girl, but found that she still couldn't fly because of her wet wings.

"M-My wings are still heavy!"

And so the two fell to their demise.

 **CRASH!**

…

…

Okay, not really.

Papi opened her eyes when she found that she was okay.

"Huh? What happened?"

She looked down to find that she had landed on Kiyota, who just stared up at the sky.

"…Being a dashing prince is painful."

"Y-You saved me."

He shrugged sluggishly. "I just broke your fall. You're the one that saved someone, Papi. Good job."

He gave her a thumbs up, earning a happy look from the Harpy.

As Papi received praise from the crowd, the little girl herself and her mother, Miia had slithered back down from the tree, her hair covered in leaves.

"I-I tried to help, too~," she whined, crying crocodile tears.

Kiyota chuckled and rubbed the leaves out of her hair. "I know, Miia. You did good, too."

They were interrupted by the arrival of a police officer on a bike.

"Oh, hello! I heard there was a little girl stuck in a tree and came to investigate."

Miia deadpanned. "A little late for that. She's already down."

"Yeah," Kiyota said, pointing to a now-arriving Papi. "She got her down."

"Oh really?" the officer asked, then saluted to Papi. "Well then, thank you for helping!"

"No problem!" Papi exclaimed, doing her own little salute.

The officer stared at the two Demihumans. "Hmm…say, are you two some of those exchange students? Where are your host families?"

Miia hummed. "Well, I have Darling, here."

Papi whispered to Kiyota. "Is he going to incest me?"

"That sounded so wrong," Kiyota whispered back. "It's deport. They might deport you."

That earned a panicked squeak from the Harpy. She ended up clinging to Kiyota, shaking in fear as the officer waited an explanation.

… _Yeah, now I gotta be a "dashing prince" again._

 _ **You have my pity.**_

"…It's me," Kiyota sighed. "She's staying with me. I'm hosting two monster girls."

That earned shocked looks from Papi and Miia, but the latter gave a look of adoration for the generosity her Darling displayed.

"So then they should have their exchange student ID's, yes?"

That made the three blink….

"EEEEEEHHHH?!"

Well shit.

The officer gave them a stare. "Hmmm…."

 _ **I think he wants a staring contest.**_

 _No. He's just trying to psyche me out._

 _ **Well then psyche him out back.**_

… _Eh, why not?_

Kiyota proceeded to give the officer his own stare, eyes constricting and a dark aura surrounding him, a crazed smile forming.

" _ **Is there a problem, officer?"**_

And so the officer's pants were now wet.

"N-No! I, um…kaythanksbye!"

The officer ran away, screaming about psycho redheads.

Papi stared in confusion, and Miia sweatdropped. Kiyota simply turned off his "look" and chuckled.

"Works every time."

Miia turned to him. "That was you acting crazy?"

"Well…yes and no. It's not something I can turn on and off like a switch. It just…triggers at certain times. But putting on a crazy look? That I can do freely."

Kiyota looked uncomfortable. "I, um…didn't scare you, did I?"

"It caught me by surprise, I admit. But…no. I could never be scared of you, Darling."

He blushed a little. "R-Right, thanks."

He looked down. "What about you, Papi? Did I scare you?"

"Scare me how?"

"With my lo- you weren't even looking at me, were you?"

"Was I supposed to? And why did that man run away? I won't be incested, anymore?"

" _Deported_ , Papi. _Deported_. And…now right now, I think. I doubt the guy's coming back anytime soon."

"And even if he does," a female voice chimed in. "Or they send someone else, I can take care of it."

Kiyota, Miia, and Papi turned to find none other than Agent Smith, holding what appeared to be Papi's ID.

"Oh, hey Smith," Kiyota greeted. "Fancy seeing you here."

She smiled. "I was in the neighborhood."

Papi pointed. "Hey! It's the Terminator!"

"Coordinator, Papi. Coordinator. Also, you ran away from _Smith_? Bad idea."

"Indeed," Smith agreed. "In any case, I'm surprised you managed to talk your way out of that situation, Kiyota."

Kiyota kept a straight face. "Yeah…talk…let's go with that."

"Yes. Let's."

Ah shit, she saw, didn't she?

"Ciel isn't with you, today?" Smith asked.

"Um…no. He's…Miia, where _is_ Ciel? Did he follow you?"

"U-Um…I might have…ran off without waiting. H-He's probably back home with Rachnera."

"…I can see it now. 'Miia, how _dare_ you just run off like that?! Not only are you not supposed to, but it was very rude!'"

Miia giggled. "Yeah, he'd probably say something like that."

"Ahem."

They turned and found Smith looking a little aggravated.

"What?" Kiyota asked.

"…You left Ciel and Rachnera alone."

Kiyota and Miia stopped as they thought about that.

…

…

"Well shit," they both said.

"What?" Papi asked, confused. "What's happening?"

* * *

The door was kicked down.

"Halt!" Smith shouted. "I have come in the authority of the Inter-Exchange Security Squad! And am here to stop an lewd activities from-!"

She blinked when she saw Ciel sitting in the sofa chair sipping tea, with Rachnera beside him, a pouty expression on her face.

Kiyota, Miia, and Papi finally arrived, a little out of breath.

"D-Damn," the unhinged one panted. "Y-You just _ran_ all the way here like it was nothing."

"I work out," Smith said nonchalantly. "Ciel, Rachnera. You're…just relaxing?"

"Indeed," Ciel confirmed.

"Huh…and here I thought there might have been some lewd activities on Rachnera's part."

Rachnera grumbled. "I tried."

Ciel rolled his eye. "No complaining from you, Rach."

"I wanted a fun time."

"Fun does not have to be sexual."

"It does when we're alone."

"Hmph."

Kiyota raised a finger. "I'm sorry, but…what happened?"

Ciel sighed. "Well, if you _must_ know-."

* * *

 _((Flashback begins))_

 _Her large breasts bounced free, making Ciel turn comically white._

" _Don't be like that, Honey. I know you want to touch them."_

 _Ciel simply shook in place, still staring._

" _Well…go ahead~."_

"… _M-My hands are tied."_

" _Ah, yes. Silly me."_

 _Rachnera used her claws to free Ciel's hands and arms so that he could move them._

 _Ciel rubbed his wrists and gulped a little._

"… _I-I suppose t-there's nothing wrong w-with a quick f-feel."_

" _Feel them as long as you like, Honey~."_

 _Nerves shaking, Ciel moved one of his hands towards Rachnera's naked breast. When he neared, he hesitated. She giggled at that, then grabbed his hand and moved it towards her naked breast._

 _This proved to be a mistake._

 _Ciel grabbed one of her wrists. "I apologize in advance for this, but I've always been curious to see if this actually works."_

" _Wait, wha-?"_

 _Using his other arm, Ciel quickly reached forward and pinched a specific area between Rachnera's neck and collar bone._

 _She froze…._

 _She collapsed to the ground, completely unconscious. Ciel still managed to hold onto one of Rachnera's wrists._

 _He sighed in relief. "Phew."_

 _((Flashback ends))_

* * *

"After that, I used her clawed hand to free myself of her webbing."

Kiyota, Smith, Miia, and Papi just stared.

"...You know the Vulcan Nerve Pinch?" Kiyota asked.

"Indeed."

"Huh...didn't take you for a Trekkie."

"I'm not, really. I just happened to walk in on my father whenever he watched the old series. And that particular maneuver caught my interest as a child. Never got to try it, though. Till now, that is. Now that I know it actually works, I can fend off Rachnera whenever she feels passionate."

Rachnera grumbled. "I don't need fending off."

"Yes you do."

She flicked Ciel's head, earning a tick mark from the heir.

Miia tilted her head. "But then, what stopped her from just trying again?"

"Simple. I kept nerve pinching her every time she woke. Once I felt she got the message, I ceased the nerve pinching."

"When'd you stop?" Kiyota asked.

"About five minutes before Agent Smith kicked the door down…thanks for that, by the way. I'll be sure to bill the government."

Smith grimaced.

Rachnera sighed. "I suppose breaking Honey will be more challenging than I first thought."

"Did you have to add that?"

"Yes."

"Tch..."

Ciel finally noticed the Harpy in the room.

"Who is she?"

Papi flinched and hid behind Kiyota.

"Aww," Kiyota chuckled. "She already knows to not like you."

"Charming," Ciel deadpanned. "But seriously, who is she?"

Smith cleared her throat. "I can answer that…after I get a cup of coffee, that is."

"Of course."

"On it." Kiyota moved towards the kitchen.

* * *

"And that's basically it."

Ciel grunted. "A habitual runaway? And you think that would change if she were to stay here?"

"I do," Smith nodded, sipping her coffee. "I figured with your stern nature, you could get her to listen to you."

Kiyota blinked. "Wait. Him? Not me?"

"Of course not."

Ciel and Kiyota didn't like how she said that.

The heir raised an accusing eyebrow. "And why is that?"

"Well, you simply seem more likely to keep her in line than Kiyota."

Ciel frowned. "Kiyota is more than capable of handling it."

He turned to find Papi swinging her talons happily. "Besides, given from what I can gather of her personality, there needs to be a certain…way of handling her. Kiyota is more qualified for it."

"He's basically saying I'm nicer."

Another tick mark. "Quite."

"Besides, Ciel might rage a lot if he interacted with Papi for a long period of time…like, seriously."

Being Papi's Coordinator, Smith knew full well how Papi was like. And she had considered how Papi's personality could mesh with Ciel's. She knew it would not work.

But then that would only leave… _him_. And Smith still had her suspicions.

"Perhaps," she conceded. "But I'm sure Ciel can move past that."

Ciel's frown deepened. "Hmm…why not ask Papi herself?"

Papi paused mid-sip. "Hmm?"

"Papi, would you prefer to stick by me, someone whom you don't know? Or with Kiyota, someone who saved you from getting deported?"

Papi blinked….

"I want to stick with Master!"

"I assume you mean Kiyota?"

"Yup!"

"Then it's decided. Unless you have any objections, Agent Smith?"

Smith grimaced. She _could_ make a case as to why she preferred Ciel over Kiyota to care for Papi, but that might run the risk of alienating herself from them. She may be lax, but she could read the atmosphere. She had felt the air tense just now, or after the double date.

Still…with her suspicions about Kiyota, could she really put _another_ Demihuman with him? And especially considering who the girl's fath-.

Smith paused.

…

…

…

…

"Nope!" Smith grinned. "None at all!"

That threw Ciel and Kiyota for a loop.

"Wait, really?" the latter asked.

"Yes," Smith smiled and bowed a little. "I apologize if I seemed reluctant."

Ciel narrowed his eye. "Can I ask why you were reluctant? And why the sudden change of heart?"

"You could…but I'm tired. It's been a long day. And I ran the whole way over here."

Ciel facefaulted.

Smith turned to Papi. "Now Papi, Kiyota is your host now. Do not run away from him. Understand?"

Papi quickly moved and hugged Kiyota's arm. "Don't worry! I may not understand complicated stuff, but I know one thing! I want to stay with my Master!"

Smith smiled. "Then that's that. If you'll excuse me, I would like to return home and rest."

She set her empty cup down and moved towards the door.

Ciel quickly got up. "Now wait just a minu- MMPH!"

She gave a smothering hug. "Until next time, Honey."

She let him go and quickly left while he was catching his breath.

…

…

Ciel scowled. "I'm not buying it."

"Me neither," Kiyota agreed. "But what's done is done. Papi get's to say with us. And me, specifically."

"Yay!" Papi cheered.

Rachnera hummed. "Is Miia okay with it, though?"

The two humans blinked and turned towards the Lamia….

She beamed. "It's okay. I'm fine with it."

Kiyota blinked. "Really?"

"Yes. It's fine."

Papi suddenly started dragging Kiyota towards the bathroom.

"Ack! Papi?"

"I want to bathe! Help me, please!"

"H-Hold on- Ack!"

Kiyota and Papi disappeared into the bathroom….

"I'm surprised you're so calm about this," Rachnera began. "I thought you'd have a problem with Kiyota being responsible for another girl."

"Same here," Ciel agreed.

Miia crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh please. She is just a child. It's not like I have anything to worry about. She's just a child, after all. No need to get upset over a child. She's just a child!"

Ciel noticed Papi's ID on the floor and picked it up, looking it over.

"…Miia, can I see your ID for a moment?"

Confused, she handed it to him. He compared the two.

"…Papi is the same age as you, Miia."

Miia comically froze.

Ciel hummed. "From what I've researched, Harpy's bodies are meant to be a lighter build so they can fly easier. Given that and her personality, it's easy to mistake her for a child."

 **BAM!**

Miia had suddenly charged through the bathroom door, the latter slamming Kiyota down.

"DARLING! I'LL BE THE ONE TO HELP HER BATHE!"

"Damn it, Miia! The door! And Kiyota!"

"SHUT UP, SHORTY!"

"ARGH!"

Rachnera giggled as Miia started washing Papi's hair roughly, threatening the Harpy if she ever hurt Kiyota, while Papi gave simple and innocent responses.

Kiyota, meanwhile, laid on the ground. Door on top of him. Head bleeding.

… _This is my life now._

 _ **Again, you have my pity.**_

* * *

 **A/N: And that's the end of the chapter. :v**

 **And so Papi joins Kiyota's party. Imagine if I had actually put Papi with Ciel? That's just multiple rages from the heir waiting to happen. Not that they won't happen, since Papi is around. But it's less so since Ciel won't have to deal with her directly.**

 **There was a lot more inner dialogue between Kiyota and...the voice in his head. What exactly is the deal with that? Only I know. :v**

 **Ciel knows the Vulcan Nerve Pinch...yeet.**

 **And Smith's suspicions show in her reluctance to let Kiyota host Papi. But she temporarily let them go rather quickly. Hmm, I wonder why? I'm sure you all can figure it out….**

 **Well, those who have read the manga can. And maybe those who decided to just look up spoilers without reading the manga. I haven't read the manga myself, but I've looked up stuff on the Wiki. Hey, I can't help it if I can't afford all the manga just yet. And I might have been spoiled beforehand from other Monster Musume fanfiction….**

 **Hindsight is 20/20.**

 **Hmm...I feel like I'm forgetting something.**

* * *

 **Omake: Taking Care of a Loose End**

"Aww yeah! Time to make money off of those two monster girls!"

The random guy from earlier had finished with some final editing on the footage he caught of the two monster girls.

"Now...should I put it on YouTube or Pornhub?"

 **SMASH!**

He would never get to decide, for his computer suddenly had a foot rammed through it.

"H-Hey! What the-?!"

Kiyota stabbed the guy multiple times in the gut. He didn't stop. He went all Rob Zombie Micheal Myers on the dude.

The guy didn't even get to utter a word before losing conscious from blood loss.

Kiyota breathed heavily, his eyes constricted.

 _ **Wow...you just went to town on the guy.**_

 _He had it coming._

 ** _I think most people would agree this wasn't warranted._**

 _I made sure to stab him in places where he wouldn't die._

 ** _Still, that seemed a bit much over this kind of issue._**

 _Do you even care?_

 ** _Not really. Just pointing it out._**

 _Then leave it be._

Cleaning his knife, Kiyota proceeded to treat the stab wounds as best he could. An ambulance sounding was heard approaching as he finished.

"And that's my cue."

Kiyota dragged the unconscious man to the living room and left him near the front door. He then unlocked said door and opened it slightly. He grabbed the man's arm and stuck it out the partially open door. That done, he quickly and quietly slipped out a back window as paramedics barged in and tended to the unconscious man.

Kiyota waited in a nearby alley, listening in as the paramedics conversed while loading the man in he ambulance. They were confused as to how the man's wounds were already treated, but figured it was for the best. As he would likely survive, but need a blood infusion.

Hearing what he wanted to hear and seeing the ambulance drive off, the unhinged redhead walked away through the alley, whistling a creepy tune all the way.

* * *

 **...Well...that was a thing...**

 **If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it. I love reading them. (except for that one that asked when I'd update another of my stories, which was REALLY ANNOYING AND- calm.)**

 **Next chapter, most definitely, is Centorea Shianus herself! Really looking forward to that one.**

 **LATERS!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Greetings, fellow readers. And welcome to another installment of Of Heirs, Monsters, and the Unhinged.**

 **Another long chapter...screw it. I'll write what I write.**

 **Last we left off, Papi joined Kiyota's har- I mean, joined the group…yeah.**

 **One minor thing: the Nerve Pinch has been changed to** _ **Vulcan**_ **Nerve Pinch….**

 **No, Ciel isn't a Trekkie. His dad is, though. You can go back and see it later. For now, it's time for best monster girl to arrive.**

 **On with the chapter!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Monster Musume._

* * *

After that little debacle in the bathroom, Miia and Papi were now currently sleeping in the same bed, the latter shivering. The reason they were sharing a bed was simple: Papi's room needed to be built, and the workers couldn't come until the next day. So this arrangement was necessary.

"They look so peaceful, don't they?"

"At least they're quiet, now."

Kiyota snorted. "You're a piece of work. You know that?"

Ciel rolled his eye. "So you've said on multiple occasions."

The diminutive heir turned and moved towards the ladder that lead into the attic. He climbed as quietly as he could and peeked through the opening. Rachnera was sleeping peacefully on her webbing.

Kiyota stared up and smirked. "Does she look peaceful?"

"Shut up." Ciel climbed back down and off the ladder. "…But yes, Rach does seem to look at peace with her current environment."

"At least she-."

"Don't try to throw that back at me."

Kiyota chuckled.

The two humans moved towards the kitchen. Ciel sat at the table and leaned his check on his hand, staring out the screen door. Kiyota started washing the dishes.

…

…

"Kiyota?"

"Yeah?"

"…How would you say this arrangement is working out for you? Hosting Miia, I mean?"

Kiyota hummed. "Well…it's going fine. Miia's a nice girl, and she means well. I can honestly say I'm glad to have met her."

"And what about Papi?"

"We barely met this afternoon, so-."

"It was an explosive meeting, from what you and Smith have told me."

Kiyota waved it off. "It'll be fine, I'm sure. Papi means well, too."

"Didn't she claw your face?"

"Accident. And it's gone now…which shouldn't be possible, but meh. Point is, I'm sure I'll like having her around, too."

"But can you handle _two_ Demihuman girls?"

"You told Smith I could."

"Yes, but now I'm asking you."

"It'll be _fine_ , geez. For someone who insists we're acquaintances, you seem to be worrywart."

Ciel huffed, still staring out the screen door. "I'm not a 'worrywart'. I'm simply-."

"Being cautious. Yeah, I know. And here I thought you were chilling out a little."

"I was…am," Ciel corrected. "But with the addition of a third Demihuman into this household, one with extremely sharp talons and no common sense I might add, I can't help but be cautious for the moment."

Kiyota finished washing the dishes. He moved towards the fridge.

"Well, I think that-."

He paused when he opened it.

"…Well, shit."

Ciel's eye shifted towards Kiyota. "What?"

"We're low on food. Gonna have to do some grocery shopping first thing in the morning."

"Ah…be sure to-."

"Get your tea. Yeah, yeah."

"Good. And you should probably sleep now, so that you're not a complete zombie in the morning."

"Good point." Kiyota yawned. "N-Night, then."

Kiyota left Ciel alone at the dining table.

…

…

Ciel went back to glancing out the screen door, specifically at the moon.

"…Hmm…."

* * *

Kiyota slowly sat up, a groggy look on his face.

"Must…get…coffee…."

He sluggishly got out of bed and shimmied his feet across the floor, swaying a little in exhaustion. As he passed by Ciel's room, he heard some shuffling and mumbling from within. His curiosity overcame his tiredness enough to sluggishly lean an ear against the door.

"Mmph! Mmph!"

"Let's see you resist, now~."

…Wow, she did _not_ wait until later to pull a stunt like this. The question was, should Kiyota do something about this?

"…After my coffee."

With that, Kiyota sluggishly moved towards the kitchen, fixed himself a cup of coffee, and sipped it down.

"Aaaaaaaaaahh…bliss."

Now that he was much more awake, he could go ahead and deal with the situation in Ciel's room…or even just ignore it.

…

…

Ah, who was he kidding?

He opened the door to Ciel's room. He found that Rachnera had tied up Ciel's hands in the air, meaning he hadn't been able to use the Vulcan Nerve Pinch. The heir was currently struggling due to being smothered by Rachnera's breasts.

 _ **Lucky bastard.**_

 _Quiet you._

"Ahem."

Rachnera froze, then sighed. "And yet another fun time ruined."

Ciel couldn't really say anything for previously stated reasons, only managing to let out muffled shouts.

 _ **You would think the midget would appreciate the position he's in.**_

 _Yeah, but Ciel is Ciel._

Kiyota shook his head and chuckled. "Pulling this stunt first thing in the morning, huh? Didn't take you for an early riser."

"I'm an opportunist."

"I can see that…also, you might wanna let Ciel go now."

"Oh, he's enjoying this. He just won't admit it."

"Probably. But I meant that his body is limp."

Rachnera blinked and looked down to find that Ciel had stopped moving….

"Eeep! Honey!"

 _Did she just eep?_

 _ **Yes she did.**_

Kiyota laughed as the normally mature Rachnera hilariously panicked over a possibly dead Ciel.

* * *

Ciel's eye twitched as Rachnera rubbed her head sheepishly.

"Sorry, Honey. T-That was my bad."

"I suffocate, and all you have to say is 'my bad'?"

Kiyota scratched his head. "To be fair, it's not a bad way to go."

"Oh really? Then go hang out with Miia. I'm sure she can help you with that."

Kiyota deadpanned.

Ciel glared at Rachnera. "As for you…did you not learn your lesson the other day?"

"I did. That's why I chose to strike this early and tie up your hands."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LEARN!"

"Sssh!" Kiyota shushed. "Don't wake Miia or Papi!"

Ciel growled while rubbing knots in his head, already feeling a migraine coming on.

"…Rach, go to your room."

She blinked. "What?"

"You heard me. Go to your room… _now_."

"…" She smirked. "Sending me to my room? Should I start calling you Daddy, now?"

"ROOM! NOW! PLEASE!"

"SSSSHH!"

Rachnera laughed heartedly. "Oh, very well. I suppose I can get some extra sleep. See you for breakfast."

She rubbed Ciel's head, earning a blush and scowl from the heir, before crawling back to the attic….

"You know," Kiyota smirked. "You should really count yourself lucky to have a woman like that by your side."

"I do not _have_ her," Ciel gritted out. "She is my homestay. My responsibility. I am looking after her."

"Well yeah, but you like her."

Ciel was about to rage.

"Not _like_ like her. Though I wouldn't bet against that. I'm saying you like having her around."

Ciel frowned. "…I've grown used to her, I admit."

"…Aaaaand?"

"That's it," he deadpanned.

"Once again, you're a piece of work, shorty."

A tick mark formed on the heir.

Kiyota put his hands behind his head. "Anyway, I'm gonna head out. So if you can give me some grocery money, I'll be on my way."

Ciel huffed and moved towards a Shin Godzilla figurine. He flipped the head upward and revealed a button hidden within. He pushed it, and a small portion of the wall slid open, revealing a safe with several scanners. He used the thumb scanner first, then the eye scanner (for his visible eye), then moved near the speakerphone.

"Fine tea."

With that last one, the safe unlocked. He pulled it open to reveal a large sum of money within. He pulled out a small stack of bills and stared at it….

He pulled out a second small stack before closing the safe and sealing it away. He turned to Kiyota.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll be the one to get the groceries, this time."

Kiyota blinked. "Why?"

"Just to get away."

"…You don't wanna be left alone with Rachnera, do you?"

"Absolutely not."

Kiyota snickered. "Heh. Alright, I don't mind. But maybe I should come along? I'm your bodyguard, after all."

"It's a simple grocery trip. I think I'll be fine. Besides, I'd rather the girls not be left alone without supervision. And yes, I'm including Rach in that."

"Pfft…alright, guess it's fine, then."

Ciel nodded. "Thank you. I trust you and Miia or Papi won't get into any prohibited activities?"

"Why'd you add Papi?"

"Just in case. Now answer the question."

Kiyota rolled his eyes. "Yes, it'll be fine."

"Wonderful. And I trust you can keep an eye on Rach to make sure she doesn't cause trouble or leave?"

"Don't worry, I got it."

"Excellent. I'll be back in a bit. And I'll call if anything comes up."

That decided, Ciel quickly dressed himself before leaving the apartment.

* * *

"Ugh…s-suddenly wishing…I had brought…Kiyota along."

Ciel was currently walking down one of the many pathways in the neighborhood. His hands were full, three bags in each hand. There were that many because of the number of occupants in the apartment. Not just Ciel and Kiyota, but Rachnera, Miia, and Papi as well. The latter three of whom most likely ate more than the average human. So he had to consider each of them and make an educated guess as to how much groceries he had to buy.

The result…was more than he'd like to carry. He remembered now why he had Kiyota do the shopping.

"O-Oh well…I-I can make it. Just…n-need to push onwards."

He noticed a warning sign about a purse snatcher, but he paid it no mind and continued onward. He was approaching another path. He would need to make a turn here, then several more on the way to the apartment.

"Ugh…n-never volunteering for this a-again."

Or at least, he'd make sure Kiyota came along. Sure he could call Kiyota, but then the lunatic would never let him live this down. So Ciel had to persevere.

"Alright…just make the turn here and-."

The moment he stepped out of that pathway, he was immediately run over by a speeding object. If one were to look at him, they would find a comically broken body (it looks broken, but it really isn't) and several hoof marks on his back and head. Oh, and the groceries were somehow intact.

"…Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh…."

Ciel slowly moved his arm, several bone-cracking noises sounding off, and placed his palm on the ground. He did the same with his other arm, more bone-cracking resulting. He slowly and painfully got to his feet, bone-cracking sounds abundant.

"…I-I can't believe I survived th- Ack!."

He fell to one knee, clutching his right shoulder.

"Ack. P-Pain."

"O-Oh my! I-I'm so sorry!"

Ah. The person that caused Ciel such horrifying pain and nearly killed him. Sounded like a young woman, too. Well, that wouldn't dissuade Ciel from completely snapping at the girl.

"You damn well better be! You nearly-!"

He stopped when he noticed several things. One, the young woman was clearly taller than him. Over a foot and a half taller, in fact. Second, because of this, Ciel was staring at some large cloth covering the woman's lower half. When he glanced down, he found that her lower half was that of a horse. And he could make out what appeared to be the tail of a horse, as well. He thought that the woman was riding a horse, but a glance upwards proved that wrong.

She was a Centaur. A third thing to note.

The fourth thing he noticed was…a little more awkward. When he lifted his gaze, he couldn't really see the young woman's face because…well…she was top heavy… _very_ top heavy. And with how close he was to her, combined with the angle he had to lift his gaze, meant he couldn't see her head past the massive mounds she sported. Mounds he stared at for far longer than necessary. Open mouthed, too.

"O-Oh, right. Just a moment."

The Centaur kneeled her hooves down, lowering herself so as to make the height difference less awkward. The movement only made her large breasts bounce, making Ciel blush and look away.

 _D-Damn it, man! You're a Michealis! You have more control than this!_

Calming himself, he turned back to face the Centaur, now able to see her face, albeit still at an angle. She had long blonde hair tied in a high ponytail, sky blue eyes, fair skin, and long, pointed horse ears. He also noted she wore a white blouse with a red ribbon tied around her collar. Ciel would admit, this woman was beautiful….

But again, that would not dissuade the heir from ripping this Centaur a new one. Verbally, of course.

"I-I wish to apologize," the Centaur woman began. "I-I didn't mean to run you over like that, little boy."

Aaaaaaand, now he lost it.

"Y-You're height made it hard to see you and-."

"I AM NOT A CHILD! I AM EIGHTEEN! A YOUNG ADULT!"

She blinked. "…O-Oh, my apologies. I-I didn't mean to assume-."

"SCREW THAT! YOU NEARLY KILLED ME, GODDAMN IT! WHY WERE YOU EVEN CHARGING LIKE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"

"I-I assure you, I had very good reason! You see, I've been searching for a master. And I've heard of these Japanese spells where if I bump into someone by accident, then we are destined to meet! As soulmates!"

Ciel just gave a blank stare.

"A-And, well, I-I may have t-trampled you, b-but I'm sure the spell s-still applies."

His stare became a glare.

"D-Did I not do it right? Should I have had a piece of toast in my mouth?"

His face became red with anger, his teeth grit so hard they could shatter, his hands clenched into fists.

"A-Are you oka-?"

"Are you…telling me…that you nearly killed me…OVER A GODDAMN MANGA TROPE?!"

She winced. "…W-Well, when put like that, I can see why you would be ang-."

"This is not me angry. Oh no, this is more than that. I'm _livid_. I'm _pissed_ beyond belief that you could be SO FOOLISH AS TO BELIEVE SOMETHING AS ASININE AS THAT! AND THAT BELIEF NEARLY KILLED ME AS A RESULT!"

The young Centaur woman grew teary-eyed. "I-I…w-well-."

"AND ALL TO LOOK FOR A MASTER?! WHAT KIND OF ASININE EXCUSE IS THAT?! YOU SHOULDN'T BE OUT HERE BY YOURSELF! JUST SO INCIDENTS LIKE THIS DON'T HAPPEN! AND FURTHERMORE-!"

Sniffling stopped him cold.

… _Ah crapbaskets._

"W-Wait, d-don't get carried away no-."

Aaaannd now she was crying….

 _Great. I'm an asshole, now._

Ciel ran a palm down his face and groaned as the young Centaur woman before him cried from the harsh words he dished out. He quickly brainstormed on how to fix the situation and get her to stop crying.

…

…

 _That could work._

Ciel quickly picked up one of the fallen bags and fished out an item. He held it out towards the Centaur woman.

"M-Miss?"

The Centaur sniffled and rubbed her eyes, then looked at what Ciel was holding out.

A carrot.

He looked rather ashamed. "I-I…apologize for yelling at you like that. I-It was very rude, very ungentlemanly, and…I-I suppose, bordered on cruel. P-Please stop crying, now."

The Centaur hesitantly took the carrot and nibbled it….

The look on her face bordered on ecstasy.

"Mmmmm~!"

Ciel sweatdropped. It can't have been _that_ good. Then again, Centaurs tend to be herbivores. So…actually no, there really wasn't a reason her eating a carrot should be the equivalent of someone having just achieved climax during intercourse….

It was official. Centaurs were weird. Or maybe all Demihumans were. Or maybe they weren't, and he was just being culturally insensitive.

…Meh.

Ciel fished out another carrot and handed it to the Centaur when she finished the first one. She took it and gobbled it down with the same ecstatic look.

He cleared his throat. "U-Um…a-again, I'm sorry. Please forgive my outburst."

The Centaur finished the second carrot and stared at the embarrassed short heir….

She gave a sad frown. "W-Well, I-I suppose I shouldn't have taken those Japanese spells so literally. A-And I nearly killed you, s-so…perhaps your anger was warranted."

"Yes, but there's a limit to how much scolding a person should receive, and I admit I may have crossed that limit."

He gave a light bow. "For a third time, I apologize."

The Centaur couldn't help but smile a little. This young man clearly regretted his outburst.

"…I'll forgive you, if you'll forgive me. Does that sound fair?"

Ciel straightened…then nodded. "Indeed. All is forgiven, then."

"Quite."

 _Thank god I fixed that mess…_

Still, she shouldn't be out here by herself. She said she was looking for a master, right? From what he researched, that was a tradition among Centaurs. Still, shouldn't she have been assigned a host family?

"…Would you give me a moment? I need to make a call."

"Of course."

"…Oh, I never got your name?"

The Centaur beamed with pride. "I am Centorea Shianus! Proud member of the Centaur race!"

Ciel sweatdropped at the theatrics, but let it slide.

"I'm Ciel Michealis. A pleasure."

* * *

"Centorea, hmm?" Smith said sluggishly. "Oh right, she was given special permission to roam free. It's a tradition for Centaurs to-."

"Find their own masters to serve," Ciel finished. "I've done my research."

"It appears you have."

"Still, is it wise to allow that?"

He could picture her shrugging. "It's what was mandated, so I guess it's okay."

"Tch. Figures. So what exactly is she supposed to do? It's not exactly safe for other people if she keeps charging down streets like this."

Smith yawned. "W-Well…I suppose you'll have to look after her."

Mental glass shattered.

"…I beg your pardon?"

"It's my day off. I'll talk to you later. Have fun. No prohibited activities, though."

"WE ONLY JUST MET! AND DON'T YOU- and she hung up."

He scowled and pocketed his phone. "Lazy woman."

"Ciel?"

He regarded Centorea. "Yes?"

"So…you're _not_ my soulmate?"

Ciel deadpanned. "No. That's not how it works in the real world."

Centorea pouted. "Phooey."

He rolled his eye. "You'll get over it."

As a random woman passed by, Ciel picked up the spilled bags and gave Centorea a raised eyebrow.

"Still, I have to ask…why were you charging so recklessly? Was finding a master so important?"

Centorea frowned. "Well…there was another reas-."

"Eeck!"

The sound of a woman screaming caught their attention. The random woman who had passed by had just had her purse snatched by a man on a speeding scooter.

"Out of my, losers!"

Centorea quickly moved herself and Ciel out of the way of the madman as he made a quick getaway.

"T-That man! Committing more crimes!"

"C-Can't breathe."

She blinked and looked down…and blushed madly when she found she was clutching Ciel off the ground, his face smothered by one of her massive mounds, and his hand accidently clutching the other. She quickly dropped him, stepping away and covering her chest.

"I-I'm sorry!"

Ciel, having fallen on his behind, staggered to his feet and caught his breath.

"…I-I believe that was the purse snatcher I've been hearing about."

Centorea gasped. "Of course!"

She drew her swor- wait, she has a sword?!

"As a proud member of the Centaur race, I cannot let this man get away! I will chase after him and make sure justice is brought down on him swiftly!"

She suddenly sheathed her sword. "But due to the Exchange Bill, I cannot do so without it being construed as harm to a human."

Ciel sweatdropped. Her theatrics aside, he was pretty sure she was violating Japan's law about weapons.

Centorea suddenly grabbed his arm. "Ciel, this is why I've been searching for a master. I can't apprehend the man on my own, so I need someone with me to do so in my place."

Ciel deadpanned. "You were looking for a master so that you could involve him in illegal vigilante activities?"

"…W-When you put it like that, i-it sounds bad."

"It really is."

"B-But still!" she insisted. "Master or not, I need you to come with me so that we can stop that man!"

He gave a blank stare.

"…No."

She blinked. "N-No?"

"No," Ciel repeated. "I am not about to embark on a vigilante mission, which again is _illegal_ , just so you can satisfy your sense of justice."

"B-But-!"

"Even if I _was_ to consider it, how exactly do I go with you? I've done my research. Centaurs only allow their masters to ride them. I am not your master, so I cannot, as it would be considered rape. And I am _not_ about to have that accusation thrown at me."

"W-Well-."

"And don't even suggest that I simply hang on to you from the side. I will _not_ be flailing in the wind, barely hanging on for dear life. Because of my…stature, I will fly off and crash into something the moment you achieve a high speed. I for one do _not_ want for that to happen."

He sighed. "I can understand you are a proud Centaur. And I myself would certainly like to see that cretin aprehended and put behind bars. But I'm afraid you'll have to let this go and let the police handle it."

Centorea was silent.

…

"W-What if I let you ride me?"

Ciel raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

She clutched his hand to her chest. "I-I know you may not be my master, but you are the only one I know right now who could help me! If I were to let you r-ride me, would you help me catch that man?"

He blushed a little due to his hand pressed against her large bosom, and he quickly pulled his hand back.

"I-I've already stated that I do not wish to partake in illegal activities."

"B-But-."

"And I caught your stutter."

She froze.

"You _say_ you'll be okay with it, but I can read people. It would make you uncomfortable. And I do not want that for you."

She stared at him in awe.

Ciel sighed again. "So look…perhaps you should just let it g-?"

"S-Such a kind heart. A-And considerate, as well."

He blinked in confusion. "Again, pardon?"

She clutched his hand again. "D-Despite your harsh outward nature, you are kind on the inside!"

"I think you're reading a little too much into it."

"No, I can see who you are now! I may not be sure if you are destined to be my master-."

"I'm not."

"-But I know that you are trustworthy! And a kind young man!"

She gave him a determined look. "So I ask, please ride me so that we may catch that crook!"

Ciel scanned the look she was giving….

"I've already told you my reservations about taking the law into our hands."

She faltered. "I-I-."

"But if you intend to be so stubborn about this, then I suppose I have no choice but to go along, if only to make sure you don't cause any trouble."

Ciel huffed. "Very well. I'll ride you."

Centorea gave a grateful smile. "T-Thank you!"

He blushed at her smile. "R-Right, well…let me just contact someone first, okay?"

"Of course! Please hurry, though. The crook is probably far ahead of us."

"Right." Ciel took out his phone again and started texting.

* * *

Kiyota groaned when his phone beeped.

"Goddamn it, barely got an hour of extra sleep."

He groggily checked his phone.

 _Ciel: A situation has come up. Note my current position. I will be leaving the groceries hidden for pick-up._

Kiyota immediately sat up, activated the his tracker, and wrote down Ciel's current location. He quickly texted back.

 _Kiyota: Got it._

 _Ciel: Good. When you get them, continue tracking my location and follow me. I may require your assistance._

 _Kiyota: With what?_

 _Ciel: I'm about to engage in vigilante activities._

Kiyota stared at that last text.

…

…

 _Kiyota: So you CAN be fun, huh?_

 _Ciel: Just keep track of my position and shut up._

 _Kiyota: Lol. Okay._

The lunatic chuckled and quickly got ready, leaving his room and moving towards the door….

Actually, he should probably leave a note or something. Just to let the girls know he and Ciel are out when they wake up.

Kiyota quickly scribbled a note and left it on the table. He then quietly left the apartment so as not to wake the girls.

"Alright…how exactly should I catch up to him?"

He noticed a car parked in a driveway….

"That'll do."

He broke the car window.

* * *

The purse snatcher checked the purse he just snatched.

"Heh. Not a bad haul. Maybe I should try one more score before calling it a day?"

"Halt, villain!"

"What the-?"

The purse snatcher glanced behind him to find that horse woman from earlier chasing after him. And there may have been someone riding on her. He couldn't tell from this distance and angle.

"You will cease your criminal activity at once! Prepare to taste my blade of justice!"

"M-Must you include theatrics into your proclamation?"

"Yes."

"F-Figures."

Of course, there _was_ someone riding the Centuar. Ciel. Who was currently hugging his arms around Centorea's waist, pressing his face into her back, eye closed. He was a little shaky, and it wasn't from the ride. Well, it was, but not in that way.

"Are you okay?" Centorea asked in concern. "You're shaking."

"I-I'm fine! Just…I-I've never ridden a horse before. A-And I doubt riding you is any better. N-No offense."

"None taken. Just hang on tight."

"A-Already doing that."

"And please don't touch me inappropriately."

"W-Wasn't planning to."

The purse snatcher sneered. "So, that horse woman and someone else is after me, huh? Well fine! Prepare for the greatest strategy in the history of great strategies!"

He sped up. "RUNNING AWAY!"

"Hey! Get back here!"

Centorea sped up as well, resulting in Ciel holding on tighter.

The chase through the neighborhood was rather hectic. What with the curved turns and obstacles. Like the water gallons that were thrown into the air. Centorea simply slashed them to bits, though that unfortunately got her shirt wet, making it see-through. Not only was it embarrassing for her and Ciel, but the latter suddenly had a harder time hanging on. Wetness and all that.

Though this next part was the most hectic of all. In a last ditch effort to lose his pursuers, the purse snatcher leaped his scooter off the road onto a downward exit ramp, while Centorea and Ciel were still on the main road above.

"Ha! Take that! See you never, jackasses!"

Centorea glared. "I will not lose so easily!"

Ciel froze. "W-Wait, Centorea please! H-He clearly got away! Don't-!"

Too late. The Centaur leaped off the main road in order to catch up to the purse snatcher….

Ciel reacted accordingly.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Centorea landed on a transportation truck and hopped off it to get on the road the purse snatcher. Said truck crashed and exploded. Ciel would've said something about that, had he not just gone through a terrifying experience. The Centaur finally managed to catch up to the purse snatcher, holding her sword up to his neck.

"I have you now!"

"You're not Darth Vader!" the man shouted defiantly.

"Who? N-Never mind! Ciel, if you would-!"

It was here she noticed Ciel clutching onto her massive mounds for dear life.

"I-I thought I was gonna d-die," Ciel stuttered out, soul nearly leaving his body.

"W-What are you doing?! What did I say earlier?!"

Not to touch her inappropriately, obviously. Sadly, the terrifying ride superseded this warning, and Ciel clutched her large breasts even tighter, practically groping and massaging them. It wasn't his intent, but he was too scared to correct his actions.

Centorea could only moan (in pleasure, but she would never admit it) as Ciel continued his accidental groping.

"I-I see. Y-You were p-planning this from the s-start, weren't you?"

Ciel didn't answer for already stated reasons.

"B-Bastard. I-I'll see my s-sword stained with your blood!"

On the bright side, it couldn't get any worse.

 **SNAP.**

And Centorea's top just snapped open….

Yeet.

Centorea let out an embarrassed shriek, accidently dropping her sword. The purse snatcher had a nosebleed from seeinguch titillating tits, causing him to crash into a forklift carrying many cans of paint. Ciel managed to notice that.

"…W-Well, that takes care of that. C-Centorea, if you could stop-."

He saw that she was frozen in embarrassment.

"C-Centorea! N-No freezing! Y-You're going to-!"

 **CRASH!**

And so the two crashed against a steel partition of a building. Well, Centorea did. The crash somehow launched Ciel into boxes of paints some feet away. The only indication he was alive was his twitching leg in the air.

Centorea was relatively unharmed, somehow. Though she was still embarrassed.

"M-My breasts."

She seemingly fondled her breasts for a bit, before realizing her error.

"W-What am I doing?!"

She covered her chest and glared behind her. "That bastard. I'll stain my sword with his blood."

She reached for her sword, finding that it wasn't there.

"W-What?"

"Y-You!"

Centorea looked up to find the purse snatcher covered in paint, glaring as he raised her own sword against her.

"I-I'm going to make horse sashimi out of-!"

"H-Hey."

The weak call somehow stopped the man from bringing down the blade onto Centorea. He turned to find a very injured Ciel clutching his arm.

The heir panted. "Y-You…w-will not…h-harm her…."

The man scoffed. "Get out of here, kid. This is none of your business."

"I-I…a-am FUCKING 18…a-a YOUNG ADULT…a-and as l-long as I'm s-standing…y-you will not harm Centorea!"

Said Centaur could only stare in shock at the proclamation, a light blush on her face. The man turned and stalked towards Ciel, sword tip dragging against the concrete. He stopped before him and glared down at him.

"Not a kid, huh?"

Ciel simply glared back up at him.

The man grinned. "Cool. That means I can hurt you with a clean conscious!"

He raised the sword over his head.

"C-CIEL!"

 **BONK!**

The look on the man's face was priceless. Then again, any man's look would if some midget suddenly charged head first like a missile into their junk.

The man fell to the ground, clutching his family jewels in pain. Ciel straightened and took out a cloth, then rubbed the top of his head. Sure, the man had pants, but still…unsanitary. He threw the cloth away and glared down at the man.

"I was considering bribing you…but you're don't deserve that."

The heir stepped over the man and moved towards a still shocked Centorea. He stopped before her and stared.

"…Are you alright?" he asked. "That was a solid steel partition."

She blinked and shook her head. "I-I'm fine, but what about you?! Y-You look hurt!"

He deadpanned. "And who's fault is that?"

Centorea winced.

Ciel noticed her naked breasts and quickly turned his head.

"P-Please button up your shirt."

Centorea eeped and quickly fixed her top.

"…Y-You saved me."

Ciel grunted. "I'm supposed to take care of you. Regardless of that being temporary, I was not about to allow any harm to come towards you."

"E-Even if you got hurt?"

"…I've learned that getting hurt is in the job description."

"H-Huh?"

"I'll explain later."

He rubbed his shoulder. "Now…if it's all the same to you, I'd like to go home now. Would you mind giving me a lift? I'm injured, as you can see."

"I-I…yes, of course. It's the least I can do."

"Y-YOU!"

Centorea gasped, and Ciel turned in shock to find the purse snatcher right behind them, sword raised.

"DIE!"

He brought the sword down.

 **SLASH!**

Centorea's face adopted a look of shock, surprise, and horror. Not for herself. There was no harm done to her.

Ciel had latched onto the Centaur, protecting her with his own body. The sword had grazed his back.

 _I…I-I'm dead…._

Ciel collapsed.

"C-Ciel!"

"Tch. Stupid bastard."

Centorea glared at the purse snatcher. "Y-You monster! H-How dare you harm him?!"

"Oh don't worry, horse lady. You're next."

He raised his sword again…only for the sound of a car to catch their attention.

They both turned, then went pale when a car sped towards them. Acting quickly, Centorea lifted Ciel and moved out of the way. The man was not so lucky.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT!"

 **CRASH!**

The car crashed into the steel partition, the purse snatcher pinned in between. The man collapsed onto the hood, a look of unimaginable pain on his face.

He coughed up blood. "W-Whyyyyyy?"

The driver door opened, and out stepped a very angry and very insane looking redhead. Kiyota moved towards the pinned purse snatcher, drew his knife, and stabbed the man in the hand.

"AAAAAAHHHH!"

He stabbed the man's other hand.

"AAAAAAHHHH!"

He picked up the man's head and started banging it repeatedly against the car, eventually drawing blood form there as well.

"P-Please…s-stop…."

Kiyota scoffed. "Pitiful…but if you insist."

He lifted the man's head again, but this time moved his knife towards the neck area, intending to slit the guy's throat.

"H-Hold it!"

Kiyota stopped and turned to find the Centaur staring him down, Ciel in her arms.

"H-He's had enough!"

"He killed Ciel. His life is now _**forfeit**_."

"C-Ciel's not dead!"

A groan from an unconscious Ciel confirmed what she said.

Kiyota blinked. "…That was a sword that cut him."

"I-It's not a real sword."

Kiyota looked down to the sword at his feet. He picked it up and examined it.

"…Huh, you're right…."

He pocketed his knife. "Consider yourself lucky."

The lunatic lifted the man's head and banged it on the hood one more time, knocking the guy out. He cleaned his knife and pocketed it.

He turned his gaze on Centorea, who clutched Ciel protectively….

He took a step towards her. She took a step back.

"Really?"

"S-Stay away from us."

Kiyota rolled his eyes. "I think you can tell I know Ciel. You don't need to be afraid."

"Forgive me if I don't believe you."

"Look, I don't have time for- oh shit, the cops!"

Centorea turned to where he indicated…big mistake. When she realized her error, she quickly turned back to find the lunatic standing right in front of her. She froze, shaking and clutching Ciel.

Kiyota slowly raised his hands, showing them to Centorea. One of them held his phone.

"I'm going to reach for Ciel's phone. I'm not gonna hurt him or you. Understand?"

He slowly reached into Ciel's pocket and pulled out his phone. He then opened both phones and searched the text messages of both, found what he was looking for, then showed both to Centorea.

"Look."

She did so…and her mouth fell a little when she saw matching texts.

"See? I know Ciel. I'm his…acquaintance."

"Only an acquaintance?"

"He refers to us as that. I just roll with it."

She frowned. "I-I see…."

"Y-You can trust him."

Both looked down to find that Ciel had regained consciousness.

"C-Ciel!"

"Hey, shorty. Finally awake, are you?"

"Fuck off, you wanker."

Kiyota chuckled as Ciel regained his bearings.

"W-What happened?"

"Well," Kiyota started. "I thought you got killed. Turns out, the sword is fake."

Ciel blinked. "…That actually makes sense. No way would she be allowed to carry a real weapon around. Wait, what happened with the guy?"

Kiyota moved aside to let Ciel see.

"…Goddamn it, Kiyota."

"What? I thought he killed you! How was I supposed to react?"

"…Fair enough. Where did you get the car, though?"

"I stole it."

…

…

"I'm so tempted to fire you."

"But you won't."

Ciel groaned. "Just…did you get the groceries, at least?"

"Yeah, they're in the back of the car. I'm not taking the car, though."

"You intend to leave the man pinned there?"

"Someone will find him."

"…Screw it. I don't care. I've been injured three times now, and I'm ready to go home."

"Awesome. Wait, three times?"

"First two were Centorea's fault."

Centorea winced.

"Centorea, huh?"

Ciel grunted. "Right, you haven't been properly introduced. Centorea, this is Kiyota Akabane. My bodyguard. Kiyota, this is Centorea Shianus."

Kiyota looked Centorea up and down….

"Ciel, I'm starting to sense a theme with you."

"Just get the goddamn groceries."

Kiyota snickered and moved back to the car to get the groceries.

Ciel turned to Centorea. "Um…would you perhaps let me ride you back to my place? I'm in no condition to walk. At least for long distances."

Centorea nodded. "Of course. It's the least I can do. But, um…are you sure that man is trustworthy?"

Ciel sighed. "I imagine he didn't make a good first impression. Yes, he is trustworthy. I'll explain when we get to my place."

"What about the purse snatcher? W-We can't just leave him like that."

An ambulance could be heard in the distance.

"Already taken care of," Kiyota stated, holding the grocery bags. "I suggest we get out of here before the ambulance arrives."

"I agree," Ciel said.

Centorea bit her lip. "I…okay."

The trio left the area as the ambulance arrived to tend to the purse snatcher.

* * *

"And that's what happened," a bandaged-up Ciel finished, having just told Smith on the phone what happened. With an altered ending and excluded Kiyota, of course.

Smith hummed. "I see. That's quite a story. However, you should've known better than to go after that man."

Ciel sighed. "I did…I just caved."

"Quite," Smith giggled. "Well, it all worked out in the end. Still, I'm surprised Centorea let you ride her."

"I apparently gained her trust."

"Indeed. Even after yelling at her…how cruel, Honey."

Ciel winced. "Please don't bring that up."

Smith giggled more.

Ciel sighed. "So…what am I supposed to do with Centorea?"

"Hmm…well, I suppose that's up to her. From what you've told me, I have a feeling she may want to tell you something."

"I see…."

"So that being said, no prohibited activities."

"WE JUST MET!"

"Hormones, Ciel. Hormones. Good luck to you. I have some business to take care of."

Smith hung up.

Ciel pocketed his phone. "Tch. Lazy woman."

She technically didn't do anything to warrant that particular title at the moment, but she earned it for life.

"C-Ciel?"

The heir turned to find Centorea standing in the doorway.

"Ah, hello Centorea. Did you need something?"

"I-I…wish to speak with you."

Ciel pursed his lips. "Alright."

He sat on the armchair, beckoning Centorea over. She walked over, kneeling down across from him.

"So what is it, Centorea?" Ciel asked.

"I-I…w-well first, I'd like for you to call me Cerea. I-It's what my family and closest friends call me."

"…Huh?"

"C-Ciel…when all this started, my selfish sense of justice dragged you into something that caused you nothing but trouble. A-And even got you injured."

Ciel frowned. "…You're not wrong, but I should've insisted. Instead, I gave in. Rather foolish on my part."

"T-That's not the point!"

Centorea, or rather, _Cerea_ , grabbed Ciel's hand and placed it upon her massive mound.

"Can you feel my heart beating? It's racing!"

Oh, he could feel her heart beating alright. Along with her massive breast. In embarrassment, Ciel tried to remove his hand, but Cerea had a strong grip.

"I can feel that this is our destiny! It's like the meeting between the Greek hero Heracles and Kherron the Wise!"

Ciel deadpanned. "I think you're looking too much into our meeting."

"I'm not, Ciel." She looked away slightly and blushed. "And perhaps you were somewhat wrong earlier about the Japanese spells. Maybe there _is_ some truth to them, after all."

His deadpan grew. "No. There isn't. It's manga. Made up. Nothing about them is based on fact. There is no truth to them."

"There must be! A-After all, I did find you…the master I've been searching for."

His deadpan became a look of shock.

"E-Earlier today, with how you defended me from that purse snatcher. It was the first time since I've been here…no, the first time _ever_ , that someone has been willing to risk his life to protect me."

Ciel tried to find the right words to say.

"…I-I, well…that is to say-."

"Which is why," Cerea interrupted. "On this day, I, Centorea Shianus, name you as my chosen master. And swear my eternal fealty unto you."

Now Ciel was speechless. How could he really respond to this?

"Well, Master?" Cerea asked hopefully. "Would you please accept my undying loyalty to you?"

Oh crap, he had to say something.

"C-Cerea…I-."

The door was kicked open.

"I'M BACK, BITCHES!"

The moment was ruined.

"DAMN IT, KIYOTA! STOP DOING THAT! AND AGAIN, THERE'S A WOMAN HERE!"

"Oh right. Sorry Centorea."

Cerea frowned at him. "It's…alright…."

Kiyota raised an eyebrow. "What's with the look?"

Ciel sighed. He was afraid of having to deal with this again.

"I apologize if I seem to be regarding you in a certain way," Cerea said. "I'm just…rather wary."

Kiyota smirked. "Wary, huh…kinda like Ciel is on certain things. Alright, what could you possibly be wary about? It couldn't possibly be about me, could it?"

"You guessed correctly, actually."

"Ha! Knew it. What do I win?"

She blinked. "Um…nothing?"

"Boooo. This game sucks."

Cerea glared. "Look, I understand that you know my master. And-."

" _Master_?" Kiyota gawked. "Haha…I'm never letting you live that down, shorty."

"Kiyota-."

"Does she have a maid costume? Or is it a knight thing?"

"The latter."

Kiyota frowned. "…Your own personal knight, huh? Kinda like a bodyguard."

Ciel shrugged. "Essentially, yes."

"…So you're saying that…she took my job?"

"Kiyota, don't even-."

"Demihumans are taking our jobs?"

"I'm warning you-."

"Dey took er jerbs!"

"Goddamn it."

Cerea stomped her hoof. "Can't you take this seriously?!"

Kiyota shrugged. "I hardly take anything seriously. 'Less someone tries to hurt Ciel or the girls. Then that person's life is _**forfeit**_."

She pointed at him. "That's exactly what I'm trying to talk about! You're-!"

She blinked. "Wait…what girls?"

"I was planning on explaining that," Ciel started. "Kiyota and I were 'volunteered' for the Exchange Program. We each got a Demihuman to host."

"Yup." Kiyota called behind him. "You two can come in now!"

Miia and Papi poked their heads in from outside the door.

"Hi. I'm Miia. And Darling is mine! Stay away from him!"

Kiyota placated her. "Don't worry, Miia. She's with Ciel."

"Oh…you have my pity, then."

A tick mark formed on Ciel.

"Hi! Papi exclaimed. "I'm Papi the Par- wait, Harpi the- no. Um…Papi the Harpy! I'm with Master!"

When she said that last part, she waved towards Kiyota.

Cerea was beyond confused. "H-He's hosting two Demihumans? Don't they know that-?"

"I know," Miia interrupted. "And I don't care. I love Darling. And nothing is going to change that."

"L-Love?"

Kiyota rubbed his head sheepishly. "Y-Yeah, she's very passionate."

"B-But what about Papi? Does she know?"

Kiyota blinked. "…Huh, I don't think we got around to telling her."

He looked down at her. "Papi, I'm crazy."

She tilted her head. "Crazy?"

"Yeah, crazy. Certifiable. Mentally unstable. Probably not safe to be around."

"…Huh."

"On the bright side, now you can call me Crazy Master."

"Yay! Crazy Master!"

Cerea sweatdropped. "Is she-?"

"A birdbrain, yes," Ciel finished. "Honestly glad I wasn't stuck with her."

Kiyota walked towards the kitchen area. "Come on, you two. I'll start getting dinner ready."

"Yay!" they both cheered as they followed him.

Before they entered the kitchen, Kiyota glanced back at Cerea, the latter freezing a little.

"...Ciel said you liked carrots?"

"Y-Yes?"

"And that Centaurs are herbivores?"

"W-We are, yes."

Kiyota hummed in thought...

"How does a nice salad with carrots on the side sound?"

Cerea blinked. "That...sounds wonderful, actually."

Kiyota beamed. "Great! I'll be sure to make that for you."

He disappeared into the kitchen.

…

…

Ciel sighed. "I understand you have reservations. You're not the first. But I ask that you trust me. Kiyota isn't a danger to us. He's perfectly safe."

He moved towards the kitchen. "And if you don't believe me, come see for yourself."

Cerea followed her master into the kitchen area, where Kiyota was preparing dinner. She found Miia and Papi getting into unusual antics, each vying to the lunatic's attention. Kiyota simply laughed as he continued making the food. Rather expertly, she might add.

Ciel hummed. "Quite the chaotic scene, isn't it? A good chaotic, though. And a surprise for you, I imagine, given Kiyota's poor first impression earlier."

Cerea bit her lip. "I…I don't know, Master. W-What I saw-."

"Wasn't a pretty sight, I know. I've been there. But I've trusted him for nearly a year now. He's more than earned it. And I wouldn't have him looking after any Demihuman if I didn't believe he was safe to be around."

He turned his gaze up at her. "I ask that you trust me, Cerea. Please?"

Cerea stared at her master, then back at the scene where Miia and Papi were trying to get the wooden spoon from Kiyota, then back to Ciel.

"…O-Okay, Master. I'll trust you."

Ciel sighed in relief. "Thank you."

Cerea turned back to the chaotic scene….

"Wait a minute. You said you and he were hosting a Demihuman each?"

"Yes."

"And Kiyota is hosting both Miia and Papi?"

"Papi was a recent addition, but yes."

"…So then who are you hosting, Master?"

Before he could respond, several webs shot out and tied Cerea up by her arms and hooves, a few even circling her massive mounds and accentuating them.

"W-What in heavens?!"

Rachnera finally revealed herself, crawling up to Cerea.

"So~," the Arachne began sinisterly, an evil glint in her eyes. "What's this I hear about you causing my Honey to be injured three times in one day, hmm~?"

"H-Honey?!"

Ciel ran a palm down his face. This wouldn't be fun.

* * *

Agent Smith pulled out a picture and showed it to the injured man before her.

The purse snatcher glanced at it…then freaked out and tried to back away.

"T-That's him! The bastard that did this! G-Get him away from me!"

Smith put the photo away. "That's all I needed. Thank you."

She left the crook to have his mental breakdown, lips set in a frown as she viewed the photos of the crime scene. Photos of the man having been pinned to the wall by a stolen vehicle. The person who reported it stolen had no idea who would take it, and there were no fingerprints anywhere to indicate who it was.

Thanks to the purse snatcher, however, Smith had a pretty good idea who stole the car and very nearly killed the man.

"I might have to actually do some investigating."

She wished she could involve her unit M.O.N., but they were still Demihumans. They couldn't touch Kiyota without violating the law. And Smith didn't want that kind of trouble for the girls. She would consider asking them about possibly getting them involved, but that would be a…radical last resort. Emphasis on "radical", because of the risk of the law.

Therefore, Smith would have to make a call that she had been holding off for reasons even she didn't know. Maybe it was hesitance towards the risk of alienating herself from the boys (mostly Ciel). Whatever the case, she felt it was necessary.

She pulled out her phone and dialed a number….

"Hello, Chief. I was hoping to have a word with you."

* * *

 **A/N: And that's the end of this chapter. Centorea has finally arrived, and is a part of Ciel's har- I mean, a part of the group…yeah. And she has her trust issues with Kiyota, like Rachnera did. Ciel thankfully has defused the tension….**

 **Or did he?**

 **DUN DUN DUNNNN!**

 **Anyway, Kiyota got to showcase the crazy again…yeet.**

 **And Smith makes her move…she has contacted the Chief.**

 ***Halo music plays***

 **Not that Chief!**

 **If you like the story and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it. I love to read them.**

 **See you in the next update.**

 **LATERS!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Yowie Wowie! I've been gone for quite a while! But that's real life and laziness for ya. The former reared it's ugly head in the form of me having to undergo three medical procedures. Two of which were actual surgeries that were a pain in the ass. Both figuratively and literally…make of that what you will.**

 **But I'm back! And ready to get the ball rolling again. And I figured I'd start with the story about my favorite harem anime.**

 **Enjoy. :v**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Monster Musume_

* * *

'Twas the night after Centorea joined the group, when all thro' the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a-.

 **CRASH!**

"COME BACK, DARLING~!"

"CRAZY MASTER IS MINE!"

"Where are you, Honey~?

"I-I shall protect you, master! A-And make you mine!"

…Well, so much for _that_ opening….

Fine, here's what's actually going on.

It was a full moon night. A night that should've normally been calm like every other night. Then again, when you have four monster girls living in the same household as you, nothing would ever really be normal again. Even the nights. Especially _this_ night.

Ciel was currently hiding below the kitchen sink, shaken up quite a bit, scared out of his mind, and clutching a plunger like it was his only line of defense. Outside the sink, an out-of-control Rachnera and Centorea were searching for their honey/master respectively.

Meanwhile, Kiyota is, or well, _was_ being chased by Miia and Papi. He had been caught in yet another strangle hold by the Lamia, and Papi was trying to yank him out of said hold rather carelessly with her sharp talons.

"MARRY US, HONEY/MASTER/DARLING~!"

Ciel and Kiyota, the latter in much pain, could only lament on how they got into this mess.

* * *

 _((Earlier That Day))_

It was now the day after Cerea had joined the heir/lunatic household. Since there were now _four_ monster girls staying in the household, it was boldly decided by Miia to firmly establish how things went in the heir/lunatic household.

"Alright!" Miia exclaimed. "There's four of us now living with Darling and Ciel! Time to establish the pecking order!"

 _ **Can't believe you told her about that.**_

 _I sensed an opportunity, so I took it._

"It goes you three, Ciel, the dirt, the worms beneath the dirt, my tail, me, then Darling."

She turned to Kiyota. "Did I do that right, Darling?"

"Pretty much."

Centorea deadpanned. "My master is the owner of our place of residence, yet you place him beneath the dirt?"

Miia angrily pouted. "He's a meanie."

"Yup," Papi agreed.

Kiyota struggled to recall any moment between Ciel and Papi that made the Harpy start thinking that, but he was drawing a blank. In the end, he just chalked it up to her being a birdbrain.

 _ **You mean retarded.**_

 _Will you stop with that?!_

 _ **No.**_

"My master is not mean!" Centorea defended. "He may be cold on the outside, but he has a heart of gold on the inside!"

Kiyota snorted. "Really? Haven't seen it since living with Shorty."

"C-Clearly, you only earned his ire in that time."

Kiyota raised a finger to say something…then stopped and slowly lowered it. She wasn't wrong.

Miia suddenly brought out a chalkboard. "Now to reiterate Demihuman law!"

"When did we get a chalkboard?" Kiyota asked.

"WHO STOLE MY CHALKBOARD?!"

The monster girls froze, and Kiyota quickly closed the blinds on all windows and peeked outside, seeing what looked like a school teacher raging while people sweatdropped at the display.

"…" He gave Miia a thumbs up. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Darling!" Miia beamed.

"THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!" Cerea exclaimed.

Ignoring Centorea, Miia gestured to the chalkboard. "Now for the law! First rule: Demihumans and humans must not harm each other! Second rule: Demihumans cannot be out alone without their host families!"

With each rule, Miia had given a cute drawing of how each rule was to be followed.

"Third rule: the Demihuman that's been with their host the longest gets privilege! So all other Demihumans must listen to her!"

Course, with this rule, she just drew a bunch of pictures of her and Kiyota holding hands and kissing.

Kiyota tilted his head. "I don't remember that in the booklet."

"That's because it's not in the law!" Centorea exclaimed. "You can't add a rule for your own benefit!"

Papi, however, nodded while holding open a book titled "Demihuman Law for Dummies".

"I see."

"Papi, don't fall for her trick!"

"I personally find this rule to be acceptable."

"Don't encourage her, Rachnera!"

Ignoring the arguing, Miia turned to Centorea. "You understand the law, right, Centorea?"

The Centuar huffed. "I already have a full understanding of the law, Miia. I know what isn't allowed and such."

It was at this point that Ciel walked into the living room, completely calm and collected. Quite the achievement given the _very incriminating_ hoof mark on his good eye. He ignored the gawking stares (and defeated look from a certain centaur) and sat in his armchair, pouring himself a cup of tea.

…

…

"On the bright side," Kiyota finally said. "Your only good eye is still working."

"Ah yes, quite fortunate. You can see by the look on my face how pleased I am by that silver lining."

"Your sarcasm is always a joy, Shorty."

Rachnera, however, hovered menacingly with a dark look in her eyes before a very nervous Centorea.

"It wasn't enough to hurt Honey three times, yesterday? Now you intend to hurt him with each passing day?"

"I-It was an accident!"

"No excuses!"

" _Down_ , Rach."

Rachnera frowned, then backed off with a huff.

Miia turned to Kiyota. "Shouldn't you be angry as well?"

"Why would I?"

"Aren't you supposed to be his bodyguard?"

"…Fair enough. I'll get angry right now. Where's my knife?"

Centorea paled.

"W-Wait!" Miia exclaimed with waving hands. "That isn't what I meant!"

Kiyota rubbed her head. "Relax. I was just kidding."

She pouted. "Not funny."

"It's an acquired taste in humor."

Ciel sipped his tea, allowing himself to have the vain hope that they'll drop the subject.

"So, how'd this happen, Shorty?"

…Vain, indeed.

"It's not worth mentioning," Ciel answered.

"That's okay. We can just hound Centorea until she fesses up."

"That sounds like a _wonderful_ idea. Let me get some webbing."

"Eep."

"No! And don't encourage him, Rach!"

Rachnera pouted, while Kiyota snickered.

"I was only kidding."

"I'm sure you were," Ciel sighed. "But fine. If you _must_ know-."

* * *

 _((Flashback begins))_

 _A groggy Ciel moved towards the bathroom. He had every intention of utilizing it before Kiyota began his morning routine of drawing a bath for Miia. Why? Well, it turns out the stereotypical cliché involving the length of time a girl took to get ready in the bathroom applied to monster girls as well. And since there were currently four monster girls now…._

 _Ciel had no intention of waiting that long._

 _He reached the bathroom and opened the door._

" _Eep!"_

"… _Crapbaskets."_

 _A naked Centorea. Quite the sight to behold. The resulting incoming hoof was expected._

 _ **BAM!**_

 _((Flashback ends))_

* * *

"And that's pretty much it."

Kiyota had a shit-eating grin on his face, which made Ciel's eye narrow.

"What?"

"…The prim and proper Ciel Michealis not only makes a girl cry, but a day later walks in on her in the shower without knocking? Such unbecoming acts from a gentleman such as yourself."

"You realize I can deduct your pay, right?"

"You won't. No balls."

Ciel groaned and rubbed his eyes. "I should really revoke your internet privileges so you can stop with these goddamn references."

"That's alright. More time to piss you off."

"On second thought, waste your life away on the internet. I don't care."

"No balls."

Choosing to ignore that referential retort, Ciel regarded the monster girls, who were staring at him with blank expressions.

"What?"

"…Are you sure you two aren't friends?" Miia finally asked. "At least, begrudgingly?"

"I must admit," Centorea added. "The banter between you two seems to indicate so. And if the spells I've read are anything to go by-."

"They're not," Ciel deadpanned. "That's manga. Not spells. Stop using it as evidence."

Centorea pouted.

"Also…I wish to apologize for earlier. I did not mean to walk in on you like that."

"N-Nonsense, Master!" Centorea argued. "I-I had gone for an early morning jog and had worked up a sweat. I-I should've locked the door as I was bathing."

"I still should've knocked," Ciel stated. "I was well aware that we had women living here, yet I carelessly barged in the bathroom without thinking. It was an oversight on my part."

Granted, he really had thought he'd woken up early enough to beat any of the girls to the bathroom. And his grogginess at the time wouldn't have helped in realizing beforehand that someone was already in there.

Rachnera huffed. "You shouldn't be so lenient about this."

"I normally wouldn't be. However, I made an error. The fault is mine. And that's the end of it."

The Arachne grumbled.

Kiyota raised a hand. "Quick question…were you sent flying?"

Ciel wordlessly gestured behind him to the hallway, where an imprint of a Ciel-like body was shown on the wall across from the bathroom.

Rachnera grew menacing again. "No leniency!"

"Eep!"

" _Down_ , Rach."

Rachnera slumped.

Kiyota whistled at the imprint. "Is your back hurting from that?"

"Oh like you wouldn't _believe_."

"You don't look it."

"I have great self-control. Now, if we can just move on, what exactly were you all doing before I arrived?"

"Well, Miia established the pecking order-."

"Oh, _goddamn it_ , Kiyota."

"-and went over the Demihuman law…speaking of, Centorea kinda broke that law, didn't she?"

Rachnera once again hovered menacingly before a panicking Centorea. "No monster may lay harm to a human. That's what it says, doesn't it?"

Ciel shrugged. "I don't recall Cerea breaking such a law. Do you, Kiyota?"

The lunatic tapped his chin. "Hmm, I don't know. That hoof mark and wall imprint seems rather incriminating."

"I suppose. Since you insist, I vaguely recall Miia dislocating your shoulder and smacking you through a store window."

"Hoof mark? What hoof mark? And that imprint was always there. It's how we got this place so cheap."

"Well said."

Centorea smiled. "Master is so generous."

Rachnera huffed. "Too lenient, really."

"Hmph," Miia grumbled. "He's not that great. Darling is better."

That earned looks from Centorea and Rachnera, causing Ciel to sigh. He could tell where this was going.

"And how is that?" the Centaur asked.

Miia smiled in confidence. "Darling is much nicer than Ciel. And more handsome. And taller."

Ciel's eye twitched. "Was that last one necessary?"

"Yes."

That earned a snicker from Kiyota, which earned a deadpan from the heir.

Centorea frowned. "I don't understand what you have against my Master. He's been nothing but kind to us."

Miia angrily pouted. "Hmph. Replace 'nice' with 'mean', and I'll agree."

Papi didn't partake in the conversation, trying to understand the book she was reading on the Demihuman law. Even so, she absentmindedly nodded.

"M-Master hasn't been mean! He has only been fairly strict! A-And he has a heart of gold!"

Rachnera gave a faux sigh. "I don't know~. He always seems mean whenever I try to seduce him."

"He's justified in that. Also, stop trying to seduce him!"

"Why? So you can have him to yourself?"

"N-NO!" Centorea blushed and stammered. "M-Master is my master! I-I would never!"

Miia nodded. "Good, Centorea! You can do better than that meanie. Now fill out your homestay application."

"Stop calling him that!"

"Never!"

Ciel and Kiyota watched as Miia and Centorea argued with each other, with Rachnera chiming in every now and then. The Lamia and Centaur continued with pointing out how their darling/master was better than the other, even getting to the point of grapping with one another. Meanwhile, Papi continued her futile attempt to understand the Demihuman Law.

"At least I never trampled my Darling!"

"At least I never broke my masters arm!"

"D-Dislocated! It was dislocated! And at least I never dragged him off on a wild chase against a criminal!"

"Well, you technically dragged Kiyota by his neck with your tail on your date. Which could've broken his neck and killed him."

"Stay out of this, Rachnera!"

"You slapped your Darling through a store window!"

"You hoofed your master in his good eye!"

"I-It turned out okay!"

This argument was starting to get ridiculous.

Ciel sighed. "Kiyota, separate them before they break something."

Kiyota shrugged and moved towards the two arguing Demihumans.

"Hey, maybe you two should-."

The tip of Miia's tail accidently slapped his cheek.

"…Well, I tried."

Ciel rolled his eyes and sipped his tea. Kiyota made to move, but suddenly noticed something odd.

"Is that smoke?"

He looked to the source of the smoke and found it to be Papi.

 **BOOM!**

Papi's head exploded. Not literally, but still. Her head fell on the book she was reading.

Ciel stared. "…Somehow, that doesn't surprise me."

Kiyota checked on the Harpy. "Holy shit! You okay, Papi?"

"Aaaah," Papi whined, a look of defeat on her face. "This law is too hard for me to understand!"

"That doesn't surprise me, either."

"Quiet, Shorty."

Papi whined again. "M-My head feels so hot. I need to cool it down."

Kiyota scratched his head. "Well, you could take a bath, I guess. That ought to help."

Papi quickly stood up and faced Kiyota.

"Crazy Master! We should bathe together!"

Ciel glowered. "Hell no. That's highly inappropriate!"

Kiyota grunted. "I kinda agree. Hey Miia! Think you could-?"

"My Darling is better!" Miia yelled as she pushed against Centorea. "He defended me against some mean couple!"

Rachera coughed. "Technically, so did Honey with me. We were there too, remember?"

"I said stay out of this!"

Centorea pushed back. "M-My master defended me from that bike criminal!

"Darling and I bathed together!"

Kiyota raised a finger. "Um, technically we didn't-."

"M-Master touched my breasts!"

Ciel choked on his tea at that, earning a laugh from Kiyota.

Rachnera gave the heir a look. "Did you, now?"

"Rach, don't start."

"Perhaps I should step up my efforts."

"Goddamn it."

Miia gawked. "W-What? Lucky! Darling, why won't you grab my breasts?!"

…Kiyota slowly raised his hands-.

"Kiyota, no."

Kiyota slowly _lowered_ his hands at Ciel's scowl. Sighing at how Miia and Centorea were clearly busy, the lunatic turned to Rachnera.

"I don't suppose you could bathe with Papi?"

"No. This fight is too amusing to miss."

Kiyota hummed. "…Oh well, I tried. Come on, Papi."

"Yay!"

Ciel stood up. "That is extremely inappropriate and-."

The heir was suddenly webbed down.

"Rach!"

"Oh, let them bathe. Kiyota knows the law already. Besides, since you've felt Centorea's breasts, it's only fair you feel mine~."

Ciel panicked as Rachnera teasingly approached and tried to free himself of his webbing.

Kiyota snorted. Normally, most guys would be over the moon about feeling a woman's breasts. Especially large ones like Rachnera's or Centorea's. The lunatic honestly thought Ciel _did_ actually enjoy and want it. He was just being stupid.

With that, Kiyota and Papi left the chaos and made for the bathroom.

* * *

Kiyota had the bath drawn.

"And there you go."

"Yay! Naked time!"

Papi began to undress.

"Papi, no!" Kiyota quickly pulled out a swimsuit. "If I'm bathing with you, you need to wear this."

Papi blinked. "What is it?"

"It's a swimsuit…don't ask me why it's a school one, though."

 _ **It's probably the only size that'll fit her.**_

… _Makes sense._

"You normally wear it for swimming. In this case, you're wearing it since I'm with you."

"Why?"

Kiyota kept a straight face. "Men must never see a woman naked unless they have consent."

"What's consent?"

… _ **Don't ever leave her alone in the shady parts of town.**_

 _Noted._

"Never mind. Point is, you're wearing this."

"But I can't change into it with my wings? Can you help?"

"…Shit."

What followed was a difficult attempt at dressing Papi in a swimsuit with eyes closed. It didn't help that the small conversation they were having sounded like a hentai sex scene.

"W-Where's the hole?"

"Is it in yet, Crazy Master?"

"I'm not used to this, so I'm not sure which hole it is."

"You're putting it in?"

"All the way."

Papi gasped. "I-It's in.

"I-It's a bit tight."

"That's okay."

…A really _bad_ hentai sex scene. Kiyota was so glad no one was listening in on this.

 _ **What am I? Chopped liver?**_

 _Shut up._

 _ **Still, this is very bold of you. Sticking it in all the-.**_

 _Shut. Up._

"N-Now stick your leg in the other hole."

Papi did so. "Like this?"

"I-I can't see, so I'm not sure."

Kiyota pulled the swimsuit up, which tickled Papi's nether regions.

"E-Eep. That tickles."

Kiyota grimaced and tried not to think lewd thoughts.

"A-Alright, just put your arms through the other holes."

"But my feathers are in the way?"

"T-The suit stretches."

Kiyota pulled the swimsuit up her arms and over her shoulders, but his hands accidently touched something small yet soft.

Papi gasped.

Kiyota's mind broke.

 _ **And here you call Ciel the ungentlemanly one.**_

Papi looked up at Kiyota with an innocent expression.

"C-Crazy master?"

You would think adding a word like "crazy" before "master" would ruin the pure (and arousing) image she was giving. It didn't, and so it finally tipped Kiyota over the edge. He went flying into the air with a nosebleed, landing in the water a few seconds later.

"Crazy Master?"

Kiyota stared blankly up at the ceiling. "…I'm just gonna lay here and question the life choices I've made that led me here. You go ahead and play, Papi."

Papi climbed onto Kiyota and laid on him.

"I'll lay here, too!"

Kiyota would've said something, but she seemed to be enjoying herself. Even shouting "this feels great!", so he just let her be. He also noticed how her now wet swimsuit clung to her body…nothing more needs to be said about that.

He went back to staring at the ceiling. "Heh…this kinda reminds me of parent otters and their young. How they have them lying on their stomachs like this when in the water."

"I think we're more like siblings!"

Kiyota's face went blank. That was a word he didn't want to hear.

"If I had a big brother, I bet he'd be like you!"

 _ **Her big brother would be crazy? That's hilarious.**_

…

 _ **Dude?**_

…

 _ **Are you about to lose it? I'm all for it, but in front of Papi?**_

 _No…that's not it._

 _ **Then what?**_

… _You know what._

… _ **Ah. Right.**_

Kiyota finally spoke. "What makes you think that?"

Papi beamed. "Well, you play with me. You're nice to me even when you scold me for being bad. And you praise me!"

Kiyota lifted his head up to look at Papi as she continued.

"There are only girl harpies you see, so I don't know what having a big brother is like." She turned over on her front and beamed at Kiyota. "But I've always wanted one, so I'm really happy now!"

…Kiyota wanted to tell her that he could never be her older brother. Or an older brother in general, but she was clearly happy. So he bit the bullet.

"I-I guess that wouldn't be a problem."

He was lying through his teeth.

Papi sat up. "In that case, let's get closer like siblings!"

Kiyota grimaced. "What do you mean by that?"

The Harpy grabbed his hand and placed it on her breast. "Like this!"

…

…

Many red flags were had.

"P-Papi, what the hell?!"

"My heart raced when you touched my breasts earlier! I want to feel that way even more!"

She made to kiss him.

"Ack! Papi, no! Siblings don't do that!"

 _ **Who would've thought Papi subscribed to the saying, "incest is wincest"?**_

 _YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! Also, NO!_

Kiyota and Papi continued to struggle in the water, much to the former's chagrin and the latter's ire.

"Are you trying to resist me?!"

"I've been resisting you and Miia since the beginning!"

"Fine! If that's how you wanna play, then I'll use force!"

Papi took to the air, bringing her talons out to bear against Kiyota. The lunatic's eye constricted. Time seemed to slow as Kiyote quickly rose to his feet and grabbed around what would be considered the ankles of Papi's talons. The Harpy was shocked when Kiyota yanked her down, then kept her down by holding her arms to her sides.

Papi stared up in shock, while Kiyota stared down with those same constricted eyes. A dark aura emanating from him.

"C-Crazy Master?"

Kiyota kept his stare for a bit longer…then smiled as his eyes returned to normal, the dark aura gone. He let her go and ruffled her hair a bit.

"That's enough rough housing, okay?"

"…Okay."

"Cool. Now, I think I'll just get out and-."

Two screams and loud thumping were heard outside in the living room. Followed by the sound of a door busting open.

Eyes constricting again, Kiyota moved towards the living room, with Papi following along. They entered and found Rachnera and Miia twitching on the ground, hoof marks all over their body, and the door open.

Kiyota blinked, eyes returning to normal. "The hell happened here?"

Miia raised a shaky finger. "R-Rachnera tried to seduce Ciel with her body again. C-Centorea took acceptation to that. She rescued Ciel and escaped, trampling Rachnera in the process."

"Huh…what happened to you, then?"

"C-Centorea still needed to fill out her homestay application. A-And I thought standing in her way was a good idea…i-it wasn't."

Kiyota knelt down and rubbed Miia's head. "You poor thing."

She cried crocodile tears. "P-Please avenge me, Darling~."

"…Tempting, but I should probably stay here and make sure nothing else happens."

"I'LL GET HER FOR THAT!"

Rachnera crashed out the window, intent on giving chase to Ciel and Centorea.

"…Something like that," Kiyota sighed.

Well, he pretty much _had_ to go now. Rachnera and Centorea could very well get into a fight with how livid the former must be with the latter. And with Ciel caught in the middle of that…yeah, Kiyota needed to step in.

"Alright, I'll go avenge you now."

"C-Can I watch?"

"I'd actually prefer it if you stayed and watched Pa-."

"I wanna go to!" Papi shouted.

"I really don't think that-."

Miia and Papi gave him the pouty face.

"…Ugh, fine."

 _ **Weak, lol.**_

 _Shut up._

Kiyota scratched his head. "Now how to catch up with them…."

Papi perked up. "I have an idea!"

Kiyota had a bad feeling about this.

* * *

It had only been a few days. Just a few days with monster girls. And already it had gotten to the point where sometimes, it would be tolerable. While others, it would be migraine inducing.

Rachnera trying to get him to touch her breasts, along with Centorea subsequently rescuing him and trampling over the Arachne and Miia, fell under the latter category. Not to mention having to endure, yet again, riding on a speeding Centorea. He had once again held on tight, not daring to let go.

The two had eventually arrived at the local park, meaning the fast pace had slowed to a comfortable walk. Ciel sighed.

"Are you alright, Master?"

"Yes, just…still haven't gotten used to riding you. I will in time, don't worry."

"I-I see. I-In that case, could you let go, please?"

Ciel suddenly realized his hands were grasping something incredibly soft. Centorea's huge breasts. Ignoring the traitorous little part of his mind telling him to keep going, Ciel quickly let go and scrambled back a bit.

"I-I'm sorry! I-It wasn't on purpose!"

Centorea blushed and smiled a little. "N-No, it's fine. For one who serves you, it is not a serious problem."

Ciel carefully climbed down from Centorea's back and looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Serves me? That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?"

The Centaur turned to the heir with a determined expression. "Of course not!"

She suddenly became dramatic. "The dignified Centaurs are warriors who value loyalty to their masters above all else!"

The dramatic shift was so dramatic, Ciel could practically see what she was talking about as though it were the background. Rather than look impressed, though, Ciel's face took on a very deadpan expression.

"That's why I've been searching for a master to serve! My father, grandfather, and great-grandfather did the same. I am a knight first, and a woman second."

And now there were literal centaur knights standing behind her, looking intimidating.

"This is the spirit of my kind! This is no exaggeration."

Ciel just gave a deadpan stare…then gave a slow clap.

"Congratulations. You've become so overly dramatic that you've manifested Stands."

"Thank you."

"…Now can they please leave? They're drawing a crowd."

Sure enough, people were staring and taking pictures.

The manifestations nodded and bid farewell and disappeared. The crowd groaned sadly and moved on with their day.

Ciel rubbed his head and sighed. "Well, I can see you take your culture very seriously. As you should, I suppose."

"Thank you."

"And I can understand wanting to uphold your family legacy as well. I myself am undergoing such a task."

Centorea nodded. "Right. You're an heir to large corporation, yes?"

"Indeed. I'm currently in charge of the Japan sector of the corporation. Hence why I'm here."

"I see…forgive me, but I don't think I've seen you actually do anything related to that."

Ciel deadpanned. "You expected to see something after not even two days of being here?"

"…Fair point. But Rachnera hasn't seen it either from what she's told me, and she's been with you longer than me."

His deadpan grew. "Oh no. Rather than manage the Funtom sister company here, I've stuck around at home to make sure my homestay and that of Kiyota's acclimate to the new environment. Stop the presses."

Centorea sweatdropped. "Y-You could stand to not be so sarcastic, Master."

"It's part of my charm."

"So you say."

"Hmph."

Ciel randomly looked at a tree, taking note of a bird hanging about.

"…Still, even though I have a legacy looming over my shoulders, I don't let it completely take over my life. I still find time for myself. And nothing will change that."

Centorea gave a small smile. "I see-."

"Not even monster girls suddenly invading my life."

Centorea deadpanned. "Is there a point, Master?"

"Yes, actually. I'm saying you shouldn't let your legacy, or your culture for that matter, define you. Relax in your own way. Let loose a little, as most people would say."

She seemed unsure. "B-But, I could never…."

Ciel shrugged. "It is merely a suggestion, Cerea. But I would encourage you to take advantage of the Interspecies Exchange Bill. Do whatever you want…within reason, of course. I'd rather you not go running around accidently trampling people…or _intentionally_ for that matter."

"R-Rachnera and M-Miia were not intentional!"

Ciel gave a blank stare.

"T-They weren't!"

More blankness.

She slumped. "I-I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to them."

"Y-Yes, Master."

"Must you call me that?"

"O-Of course! As I said before, we Centaurs are a proud-!"

Ciel quickly raised his hand. "Stop! No. Not another overdramatic spiel. Forget I said anything."

Centorea slumped again. She actually wanted to go on another overdramatic spiel.

Ciel sighed. "Look, just…back on topic. Is there anything you want to do since you're here? Anything at all that you wouldn't normally get to do back home?"

"Anything…?"

"What do you wanna do next?"

"You decide."

Ciel and Centorea's attention turned towards a random passing couple, who were trying to decide what they wanted to do next. Ciel didn't really think much of it, but the Centaur noticed they were holding hands…and she suddenly had an idea.

"M-Maybe…no, never mind."

Ciel turned back to her. "Come now, don't be shy, Cerea. Just say it."

"…M-My hand," she said hesitantly.

Ciel raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

"I-I was hoping you'd hold my hand."

"…"

"It's just that I've only ever held swords and bows," she continued, nervously steepling her fingers together. "S-So I thought…I just thought that's what girls do in human society. There's no deeper meaning…."

Ciel pursed his lips in thought. He would've called out her excuse as being _asinine_ , but given Centaur culture…it was entirely believable that she never held anyone's hand before. The closest might've been from her parents when she was a child, but he obviously couldn't be sure of that.

"…Hand holding tends to have a deeper meaning, Cerea. Especially between a boy and girl. Therefore, it would be highly inappropriate if I held your hand."

Centorea was hurt by that, but she knew her master had a point.

"Y-Yes, of course. T-That was a request unbecoming of one who serves their master. Just pretend I never said-."

She stopped when she felt something grab her hand. That something was Ciel's hand. Ciel was holding her hand. Such a thing surprised her.

"I said it would be highly inappropriate," Ciel stated, looking away with a light blush. "I never said I wouldn't acquiesce. Besides, if this is what you want, then I won't make much fuss about it."

Centorea looked away. Even after stating how inappropriate it was, he still held her hand. He was doing it for her….

Ciel raised an eyebrow when he suddenly heard muffled sounds from Centorea. He tried to see what the problem was, but…again, he was short. So he couldn't see past her giant breasts. And he stared….

He quickly shook his head.

 _Damn it, man! Improper!_

He blamed Rach. She might actually be getting to him.

Centorea made more sounds and…was she crying? Oh god, did he make her cry again?!

"Are you alright, Cerea?"

She jerked away, hiding away her face.

"D-Don't look at me! I-I don't even know what I look like right now!"

Ah. Never mind. She was just being overdramatic again.

Ciel sighed and tried to move in front of her. "Cerea, you're being ridicu-."

She jerked away again. "I-I said not to look!"

And now Ciel was getting frustrated.

"Cerea, look. You need to-."

"NO MERCY!"

Centorea suddenly grabbed Ciel and moved aside as an angry Rachnera came crashing down. She looked rather menacing with her sharp red eyes and snarling teeth.

" _ **CEEENTOREAAAAA!"**_ Rachnera snarled.

Welp. She was pissed.

Centorea paled and sweated nervously. "R-Rachnera! H-Hello! I-I was a-actually hoping to t-talk wi-!"

"Trampling me is one thing," Rachnera interrupted. "I can actually forgive that."

"…R-Really? B-Because I was going to a-apologize for that."

"No need. Consider it already accepted."

"Oh…well, thank y-."

" _However_ ," Rachnera growled. "What I will _not_ forgive is you taking my Honey away from my advances just so you can try your hand!"

Centorea blushed madly. "T-THAT'S NOT WHY I STOLE HIM AWAY!"

"AHA! YOU ADMIT TO STEALING HIM AWAY!"

"I-I DID NOT! A-AND I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE ANY ADVANCES ON HIM!"

Rachnera's face went bank. "Oh really?"

"R-Really!"

"No advances?"

"None at all!"

"Nothing to indicate that you're trying to have him for yourself?"

"N-No!" Centorea denied. "I am a proud Centaur! A knight first, and a woman second!"

…

…

"Well first off," Rachnera started. "That's just stupid, no offense."

"H-Hey!"

"You can't just be a 'noble knight' all the time. You need to let loose and have fun once in a while! Otherwise, you'll just be an uptight woman with a stick up your ass and no man in your life."

Centorea deadpanned. "…You're very blunt, you know that?"

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a…never mind. Except for that last one, Master said the same thing."

Rachnera snapped her fingers. "Ah yes, that brings me to my second point. If you're not trying to have him for yourself-." She pointed towards Centorea's chest with a glare. "-then what do you call _that_?"

Centorea looked down to find that she was hugging Ciel's face into her breasts. Also, his body was limp….

"E-EEP! MASTER, NO!"

And so marked the second time Ciel suffocated in large breasts.

Centorea quickly let go of the heir, the unconscious body falling unceremoniously to the ground.

She winced. "O-Oops."

Rachnera glared. "So you steal him away, seduce and suffocate him with your breasts, then just drop him as though he wasn't fragile?"

"T-That isn't what happened!"

"It's too late!" Rachnera drew some webbing and stretched it between her hands. "I have no choice but to punish you! You and me! Right now! Winner gets Honey!"

Centorea knew this had escalated to a ridiculous level. And she was pretty sure Rachnera knew that as well. However, she wasn't about to turn down a challenge that involved her master.

"Very well!" Centorea drew her sword. "I shall defend my honor and master!"

Arachne vs. Centaur. This was a bout that would truly go down in the history books as the greatest battle in Demihuman history. All for the sake of love. And so long as nothing suddenly crashed into the out-of-control situation, this battle would commence right a-.

"AAAAAAAAAAAA-!"

 **CRASH!**

Damn it.

Centorea and Rachnera blinked and turned to the source of the crash just a few feet away from them. A small crater had formed. And in it, was a familiar redhead.

"K-Kiyota?!" they both exclaimed.

Bet you thought it was Miia, didn't you? Nah, it was Kiyota. Who staggered to his feet after such a great fall. Inwardly lamenting at how bad of an idea that was.

What idea was that? Well-.

* * *

 _((Moments earlier))_

"THIS WAS A BAD IDEA!"

 _ **Why? She already took you flying once. Was that not enough to get used to being so high in the air like this?"**_

"NO! ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH!"

"WHO ARE YOU YELLING AT, DARLING?"

"N-NO ONE! NEVER MIND!"

Papi's idea had been to fly up with Kiyota and Miia in her talons. Turns out, Harpies were able to carry great weights in spite of their small bodies. Kiyota was hanging from her left talon, and Miia was hanging from her right.

Kiyota calmed down and checked his tracker. "Right, so…if this is right, we should be right on top of them."

Miia squinted her eyes below her. "We're too high up. I can't see them."

"Well, we're supposedly already here. Papi, let me down."

"Okay!"

She released her grip on him.

…

…

 _ **You probably should've been more specific.**_

 _Yeah._

Kiyota fell with a scream.

"BYE, CRAZY MASTER!"

"DARLING, NO!"

 **CRASH!**

* * *

 _((Present))_

Which leads to now.

Kiyota's bones comically crackled as he righted himself, earning winces from both Rachnera and Centorea. He looked at the crater he had made on impact, then up at the sky from where he had fallen.

"…Holy shit, I'm alive."

…

…

"WOOOOO!" He cheered with raised fists as he fell to his knees. "I'M ALIIIIIVE!"

"AAAAAAAA-!"

 **CRASH!**

"M-Miia?!" Centorea and Rachnera exclaimed.

Oh look. Miia crashed down as well. How? Well-

* * *

 _((Moments earlier…again))_

"Papi, you idiot!" Miia glared up at the Harpy. "Why did you just drop him like that?!"

"He said to let him down," Papi beamed naively.

"He didn't tell you to drop him! He could be dead from a fall this big! Now let me down so I can go check on him!"

"Okay!"

Miia huffed…then realized what she had just said.

"Wait, that's not-!"

Papi let go of Miia.

"…I brought this on myself."

She fell with a scream.

"BYE, MIIA!"

 **CRASH!**

* * *

 _((Present…again))_

Which once again leads to now.

Papi landed next to an irritated Miia, who surprisingly didn't look too hurt. The Lamiai propped herself up in a "seated" position and glared at the Harpy.

"Papi! Why did you drop me like that?!"

"You asked me to let you down. Just like Crazy Master did."

"I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO DROP ME! JUST LIKE DARLING DIDN'T TELL YOU TO DROP HIM!"

Centorea and Rachnera just stared at the bickering Lamiai and Harpy….

"U-Um, Miia?" Cerea began.

Miia turned to the Centaur and gasped. "You! You trampled me! And you haven't filled out the application!"

Centorea winced. "R-Right, um…I wanted to apologize for that."

"Apology not accepted! Darling, avenge me!"

Rachnera snickered. "That might be a little hard for him to do right now."

"Why?"

Centorea and Rachnera pointed beneath Miia. The Lamiai looked down to find she had crashed on top of her Darling. And given that she's technically quite heavy (she'll never admit this, of course) because of her long and large tail, it was quite the crushing for Kiyota. Enough that more of his bones had comically broken upon the impact, a bigger crater had formed, and Kiyota was just staring up with mouth slightly agape, soul leaking out, and dead white eyes.

…

…

"EEP! DARLING, NO!

"Ooooh, something's coming out of Crazy Master's mouth!"

"THAT'S HIS SOUL! DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT, DARLING! RUN TOWARDS MY VOICE!"

"Hmm, you know? I've always wanted to dispose of a dead body."

"NOT HELPING, RACHNERA!"

Centorea sweatdropped. "Indeed. Also, that was dark."

"I tend to be dark sometimes." She stretched out her webbing again. "Now, where were we?"

"W-We can't fight now! Both Ciel and Kiyota are unconscious!"

"That just means no one will get in the way."

Centorea growled. "Fine. If that's how you want it, then so be it!"

The Centaur once again readied her sword, and Rachnera readied her webbing.

"Hey!" Miia shouted. "You still need to fill out your application! And I still need to be avenged!"

"I APOLOGIZED!"

"AND I DIDN'T ACCEPT! DARLING WILL AVENGE ME WHEN HE WAKES!"

"NO AVENGING IS NEEDED!"

"I'M GOOD AT YELLING, TOO!" Papi shouted along.

While the situation between the four Demihumans was starting to get even more out of hand, Agent Smith was driving by the park, listening and singing to the latest soundtrack from ANM48. She noticed a commotion when she neared the park entrance and pulled over to find Centorea, Rachnera, Miia and Papi all yelling at each other and looking to fight. Ciel and Kiyota were on the ground unconscious.

Smith frowned. "Damn it, girls."

Meanwhile, the situation once again escalated.

"That's it!" Rachnera shouted. "How about a free-for-all?"

"Fine by me!" Miia shouted. "I'll avenge myself!"

"Okay!" Papi shouted, even though she didn't actually have a reason to get involved.

"Very well, then!" Centorea nodded.

All four now suddenly looked very menacing with red eyes. Papi took to the air, Miia readied herself for hand-to-hand combat, Centorea readied her blade, and Rachnera brought her claws to bear.

Smith cursed and quickly stepped out of the car, drawing her tranquilizer gun.

It was at this point that Ciel managed to recover from his visit to the valley of soft pillows. He sat up and rubbed his head.

"Ugh…why must that be a regular occurrence?"

He opened his eyes to see the ridiculously escalated situation, as well as Smith about to deescalate it via a tranquilizer gun.

"…I swear. I'm unconscious for a few minutes, and all this happens."

Ciel got to his feet, pat himself of any dust, and cleared his throat.

…

…

" _ **ALL OF YOU STOP!**_ "

The four Demihumans lost whatever menacing aura they had and jumped in fright. Seeing this, Smith made to take advantage-.

" _ **THAT MEANS YOU AS WELL, SMITH!**_ "

Smith jumped and accidently dropped her gun, which went off and fired a tranq dart into the already unconscious Kiyota. She froze, the quickly hid the gun behind her foot and whistled innocently. Ciel would deal with that in a moment.

Centorea gave a nervous smile. "M-Master! H-How are-?"

" _ **Silence**_."

Cerea quickly shut up.

Ciel stared at the four nervous Demihumans, then a nervously waving Smith, then the very much dead-looking Kiyota.

"…Explain. _**Now**_."

* * *

Kiyota suddenly regained consciousness and sat up quickly.

"THE CAKE IS A LIE!"

"See? He's completely fine."

"Honey, he's been out for hours."

"If he can still make stupid references, then he's fine. Also, don't call me that."

"Oh, so Rachnera can call you that, but not me? That implies a lot."

"Don't even start. You neither, Rach."

"I wasn't going to say anything."

"Yes you were."

Kiyota blinked and realized he was back at the house. He turned to find Ciel, Centorea, Rachnera, and Smith (sipping a mug of coffee) around him.

"…What happened?"

"Let's see," Ciel started. "You fell from a great height thanks to Papi's stupidity, and Miia crashed atop you afterwards. Oh, and Smith's tranquilizer gun went off and fired a tranq dart in you. On accident, of course."

Kiyota mulled over that.

"…Neat."

"Neat?" Ciel repeated with a raised eyebrow. "You nearly get killed twice, then tranqed, and all you can say is 'neat'?"

"…I mean, I was already out for the last one, so-."

"I swear, does nothing make you angry?"

"You have enough anger for the both of us, Shorty."

"…Touché."

Kiyota looked around and noticed two girls missing.

"Where's Miia and Papi?"

Ciel wordlessly pointed behind the lunatic, who turned to find Miia and Papi hiding behind a slightly ajar door.

"Stare…."

He could question why they just said that, but something else was more important.

"Why are you two hiding?"

Miia frowned sadly. "The reason you're like this was because of us."

"I-I'm sorry, Crazy Master! I-I shouldn't have dropped you! Or Miia on top of you!"

Smith mentally noted Papi's nickname for Kiyota as Miia continued.

"And if we hadn't asked you to take us with you, none of this would've happened."

Papi looked guilty. "Y-Yeah."

Ciel nodded. "That's not _in_ accurate."

"Shorty," Kiyota deadpanned. "Not helping. Go deal with your own girls and their apparent guilt."

The heir blinked and turned to find that Centorea and Rachnera had backed away quite a bit, looking rather guilty themselves.

"Why are you two back there?" Ciel asked.

"W-We acted out of line as well, Master," Centorea said.

Rachnera sighed. "And I…may have gone a bit too far in nearly causing a free for all. And…maybe my advances are a bit much sometimes."

Ciel frowned. "…Again, not inaccurate."

"Shorty, would it kill you to be less harsh?"

"Maybe."

Ignoring the banter, Miia continued. "S-So the four of us talked it out, and we decided that from now on, we intend to hold back!"

Ciel and Kiyota stared.

"Y-Yeah!" Papi agreed. "I won't ask you to play with me anymore, Crazy Master!"

Centorea stepped up. "A-And I won't act out of line again, Master!"

Still staring.

"I…suppose I can tone done my seduction attempts," Rachnera admitted. "Just a little."

"M-Me as well," Miia agreed. "This way, the four of us won't cause trouble for you two, anymore."

Ciel and Kiyota stared for a short while.

…

…

Ciel straightened his bowtie. "As tempting as that is, it's not necessary."

"Yeah, I agree," Kiyota nodded. "It's all good."

The four girls blinked. "…H-Huh?"

Ciel crossed his arms. "I will admit that you four can be rather rambunctious and aggravating. And it's not good to fight. However, that doesn't mean you have to hold yourselves back on anything. It's just who you are."

Kiyota continued from there. "And sure, me and Shorty have been hurt on a daily basis. But as the old saying goes, shit happens. Besides, this is a homestay. We're all supposed to overcome whatever happens."

The lunatic turned to Mii and Papi. "I'm not mad at you two. Honestly, I doubt I ever could."

"B-But," Miia stuttered. "You fell and crashed. Then got crushed. Then tranqed."

"Believe it or not, I've been through worst. Also, that last one is Smith's fault."

Smith did a spit-take.

Kiyota put a hand on Miia and Papi's heads and smiled. "I'm fine, really. Miia, I don't mind how passionate you are. If anything, that's what really like about you. And Papi, I'll never stop playing with you. You're too much fun."

Miia and Papi blushed madly.

Ciel approached Centorea and Rachnera. "Rach, your seduction attempts are…well, annoying. At the very least. And you seem to be angered too easily."

"Sounds like someone I know," Kiyota snickered.

Ciel deadpanned at him before turning back to Rachnera.

"However, that doesn't mean you need to hold yourself back. You are who you are. And…w-well…I-I like you as you are."

Rachnera blushed with a smile, eyes shining.

"And Cerea…there is nothing wrong with you 'acting out of line'. You were just relaxing is all. From the weight of the Centaur legacy. Do try to keep doing that."

He reached up and grabbed Centorea and Rachnera's hands, earning blushes from the two.

"I may get angry and yell, but that shouldn't discourage you two. And as for whatever trouble you undoubtedly cause…as Kiyota aptly put it, shit happens. Don't be too hard on yourselves for it."

…

…

"I think you're right, Centorea," Rachnera smiled. "He might have a heart of gold underneath all that strict anger, after all."

"I-I told you," Centorea smiled with trembling lips.

Miia whispered to Kiyota. "I still don't see it."

"Me neither," Papi agreed.

Kiyota shrugged. "Eh. Shorty has his moments, I guess."

Smith clapped. "Aw, how sweet. You all made up…."

She cupped her chin. "Kinda like a family, if you think about it."

Kiyota snorted. "Yeah. A fucked up family. Ciel's the angry patriarch, Centorea the matriarch that has to calm him down, Rachnera the mistress of the patriarch who constantly seduces him, Papi the child, Miia the maid, and I would be either the third cousin four times removed or the fourth cousin three time removed that likely tries to get it on with the maid."

…

…

"Why am I not the matriarch in this scenario?!" Rachnera demanded as Centorea blushed and stammered madly about her and Ciel.

"You seem more like the mistress type, given your personality and your many seduction attempts."

"…I suppose."

"M-Me, the maid?" Miia stammered with a blush. "S-Seduced by my handsome Darling?!"

Papi tilted her head. "If I'm the child in that, does that mean we can still play?"

"Sure."

"Yay!"

Ciel sighed as the Demihumans got lost in the scenario. "Damn it, Kiyota."

Meanwhile, Smith was debating something in her head. She hadn't wanted to bring this up with this group due to a…certain person in the group, but another certain person had insisted. As well as her superiors because of this unique situation of two people with a homestay or more each living together….

Oh well, in for a penny.

"I'M SENSING AN OPPORTUNITY!" Smith shouted, catching the attention of the others.

"What?" Ciel and Kiyota asked.

Smith cleared her throat and explained.

"You see, there's been recent movement to amend the Interspecies Exchange Bill. It's just a few minor changes, but one of them would allow humans and other species to marry. I've been looking for a test case to see if that's truly possible. And while I was a little hesitant, I think I've found that test case!"

Ciel and Kiyota stared, the former not liking where this was going.

"Ciel Michealis. Kiyota Akabane. You each will marry one of your homestays!"

Rachnera, Centorea, Miia and Papi all blushed in shocked. Kiyota just stood there, mouth agape, not knowing how to respond to that. Thankfully, Ciel did it for both of them.

" _ **WHAT?!**_ "

* * *

 **A/N: And there you go! The marriage reveal seemed like the perfect place to end this chapter on. Plus, the chapter was getting a little long.**

 **So yeah…we're at the marriage stuff. And if you remember this episode, then you know what's coming next chapter.**

 **I'm sensing a full moon coming soon. :v**

 **Now then, since it's been a while (even though I have an excuse), let's have an omake!**

* * *

 **Omake: Avenging Miia**

"Oh Darling, one more thing."

Kiyota raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

Miia pointed at Centorea. "You still need to avenge me!"

Centorea gawked. "I-I thought we moved past this?!"

"Never! Avenge me, Darling!"

Kiyota pursed his lips…then shrugged. "Okay."

"W-What?!" Centorea exclaimed.

Kiyota stood up and disappeared into his room. Ciel, Rachnera, Centorea, Miia, Papi, and Smith could only listen to the sounds of much shuffling and stuff moving around. Eventually, Kiyota returned….

With a replica of the Infinity Gauntlet.

Ciel groaned. "Oh, _goddamn_ it, Kiyota."

"Best 15,000 Len I ever spent."

"That's not even an Avenger weapon! You could've at least gotten the one from Endgame!"

"Yeah, but the original is better. Alright, Centorea. Prepare yourself!"

She deadpanned. "You realize you can't actually hurt me without violating the law, right?"

"Yeah. But I can still do this."

Kiyota snapped his fingers…and the carrots on the kitchen table faded away into dust.

Centorea went wide eyed. "W-What the-?!"

A beep was heard. Ciel took out his phone to read the notification.

"Breaking news. All carrots in the world have disappeared."

Centorea fell to her knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kiyota grinned. "Okay, Miia. You've been avenged."

"Yay! My Darling defended me! Let's have sex!"

She tackled him.

"Miia, no! The law! And there are people present!"

"I don't care!"

And so Centorea weeped for her favorite vegetable as the others tried to separate a horny Miia from Kiyota.

* * *

 **A/N: Rest in peace, carrots. You were a source of food for the great Bugs Bunny…oh, and Centorea.**

 **If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it. I love to read them.**

 **See you in the next update.**

 **LATERS!**


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